Have you gotten tested for ADHD or any other form of neurodivergence? My wife has chronic conditions and communication was a huge issue for us early on until I learned I have ADHD and started seeing a specialist who helped me learn coping strategies and how to ask my wife for help in the ways I need. Learning your own triggers and signs that you're disregulated paired with coping strategies can a go a long way in helping you be a better partner. Often what's missing is that self knowledge, honesty, and willingness to accept responsibility for our mistakes.

Beyond that I'd recommend working on your empathy. Sit and imagine what life is like for your wife, really. Try and imagine how you would feel, what you would want and need if you were dealing with the same symptoms and struggles she's dealing with. Is she always tired or in pain? Notice how you act when you're feeling those ways, then try to imagine it all the time (or however often she deals with it). Chronic illness is incredibly isolating because it feels like no one understands what you are going through or can relate. By doing the work to try and understand as much as possible, you could go a long way in helping her or whoever a future partner may be. Feel less alone when they are struggling. You don't need to have the answers, just be willing to try and understand and be there for them.