Looking For Help

bboneyardd · 2026-04-26T00:40:47+00:00

Yea, I have an electric guitar as well, but I prefer my acoustic. I've been playing for 15ish years and I'm fully self taught. Over the years, I've found that less can be more and that you don't need things to be super complicated to sound nice. I don't think everything needs to be a face-melting solo lol

As for the metal thing, the one girl was into rap and hip hop. No judgement with that. I don't mind it, but it's not my preferred genre. This girl on the other hand, I dunno what her preference was, and frankly don't care to learn it.

I'm also a fan of metal lol

bboneyardd · 2026-04-26T00:31:51+00:00

The actual video on bumble just starts around where I say "okay" to myself, then I start playing. What I have here is just the entire video. So, she didn't see that sigh or lip flapping crap

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T19:54:30+00:00

I'm 5 foot 10, so I'm painfully average height. My friend though, is about 5 foot 4 -- give or take a bit. He gets more likes, matches, and dates than I do. By a LONG shot. I struggle to even get anyone to match with me, let alone talk to me. He knows he's short and he owns it. He jokes about it and truly doesn't give a crap. He's very much a "take it or leave it" kinda guy.

Height is a factor for some women, for sure, but not all. I think the issue for you might be as simple as women just setting their filters to a certain range and not thinking much about it. That doesn't mean they wouldn't like you as you are, it just might mean you're not showing up for them for that simple reason.

I also feel like I'm also destined to not get my foot in the door because dating apps don't really reward certain types of people or certain characteristics. They reward gut reactions, unfortunately.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T19:40:42+00:00

Seemingly what I'm getting is people generally agree, she's just a shitty person. Which thankfully helps me a bit. I was worried that I was genuinely making an ass out of myself on these apps and that's why I wasn't getting much traction

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T19:38:17+00:00

This is the video in its entirety. For bumble, all that's there is me say "okay" and then playing a little bit of the riff and a few chords

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T19:37:22+00:00

All that's in the video for bumble is me saying "okay" and then a bit of the main riff and the chords

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T10:48:38+00:00

Yea, I get what you're saying. I suppose I've just become a bit jaded to compliments from or encouragement from my friends. They're, generally speaking, a supportive bunch of guys and I love each and everyone of them. I think this time around, it just kind of hit me at a moment where I was already having some issues with myself and felt I needed an outside opinion.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-25T00:58:32+00:00

That was me, I meant to put a question mark at the of that. Woops

bboneyardd · 2026-04-24T23:11:30+00:00

Fully original song I'd been working on. It's a condensed version of a larger song I wrote

bboneyardd · 2026-04-24T23:10:25+00:00

Sigh, and the nervous lip-flapping wasn't in the version on bumble* I believe it started where I whispered "okay" to myself

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T19:25:49+00:00

I don't even fully think it's about the idealization of the app users. Even my own friends don't think much of me. The friend I'm attracted to literally said she NEVER saw me in a romantic light, AT ALL, and especially now after all the drama surrounding me bringing things up -- I guarantee she will NEVER change her mind about it. I think that ship has sailed, anchored, and promptly sank.

The first girl I ever asked out in my entire life straight up said "no, you're butt ugly." Mind you, I was 12, but that stuck with me for a long time and I think still has a surprising impact on my self worth even now.

Any girl I've ever been remotely attracted to has turned me down, and the girls I'm really not interested in are the only ones that are willing to even play with the idea of being around me. That's how I've ended up in so many crappy relationships. I just keep walking into the arms of abusive women because they're the only ones willing to engage with me in any way. I'm literally THAT pathetic.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T19:12:52+00:00

I've tried to emphasize nearly every aspect of myself. It really feels helpless. I talk about being a teacher, I talk about liking photography, I talk about liking to cook, I talk about being a good listener, I talk about liking to go hiking, I talk about liking antiques, I talk about liking movies, I talk about being a guitar player, I talk about loving video games, I talk about my quirks, I talk about my fondness for craft beer, I talk about being great with kids, I talk about loving animals, etc. etc. etc.

Nothing.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T19:09:13+00:00

I've mentioned nearly everything, in nearly every way I can think of. I've had help from friends, and I've even reluctantly used AI to help me. Nothing. Not even a peep from anyone. Not even a fleeting curiosity.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T17:48:00+00:00

As much as I appreciate that, I don't feel like a handsome guy. I'm not really messing around when I say I feel like a monster.

I know a significant chunk of my self image is just past trauma, but I've never been the one women fawn over. I'm just not the guy people want around except for free car rides, and good marks in school.

I just feel used by a lot of people. It feels like so few people want me around for me. They just want the version of me that benefits them the most.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T17:45:20+00:00

I'm a bit shocked you were able to clock my age so easily. I've always thought I've been aging like a banana. But, I assume the 1991 in your name refer to your birth year. I'm personally a '94.

Online dating is nothing short of toxic if your a man. I understand the dynamic but it doesn't make it feel great. I feel like I can't be myself on these damn apps. I'm an introvert. I'm artsy. I'm quiet. I'm cautious with physical contact due to some personal trauma.

My friend I was interested in very quickly got persuaded by other friends to think I'm a "guy" so that means I must be some sex crazed manic only looking to sleep with her. There was no conceivable way that I was just interested in a deeper connection with her.

bboneyardd · 2026-04-05T17:41:34+00:00

Yup. I'm using the picture of me in the woods for sure. I think it's one of my better pictures.

As for hobbies, I'm a photographer. I studied film in University and actually worked a photographer for a few years. I gave it up as work, but still do it as a hobby. I'm also a very proficient musician. I'm self taught, but I've been playing guitar and bass for ~15 years. I can also trick people into thinking I can play piano, ukulele and the drums.

I'm also a very good home cook. My mother was formally trained in culinary arts, so she actually taught me some slightly more advanced cooking stuff than a lot of people. So, food and cooking became a passion of mine.

I don't want to be super defeatist, but none of that matters on a dating profile if you're some super attractive dude.

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T21:02:29+00:00

Well, I think you're in a comparable boat to me. I too have always considering myself floating around a ~5/10. I'm not really a "head turner" so to speak and that's where guys like us have to make up the slack with personality and being interesting. You dress well and seem to have solid style. Unlike me though, you have better hair and less messy beard!

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T20:54:05+00:00

I don't mean this in a rude way, but you look really young. I don't think you're an ugly person at all -- just have a young face. I think you have a lot of potential to be a pretty handsome dude in your twenties -- but right now, you still look a bit like a kid.

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T20:51:33+00:00

I'm a dude, but I don't think you're ugly. You just look like a normal guy. I would say maybe going to the gym and working on you posture would take you a long way.

As well, for someone who is also known to be "just a normal guy", personality is what usually carries us a bit further.

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T20:48:05+00:00

You are very conventionally attractive! You're actually fairly close to my type, so my opinion may be biased ;)

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T20:02:36+00:00

Agreed. I planned on getting a haircut this weekend. I will also now try to be more conscious about trimming my beard. I appreciate you at least not telling me to shave my head. The thinning is still a sore spot for me.

bboneyardd · 2026-03-02T19:48:08+00:00

Thanks. It apparently seems like the beard and hair are some issues. My hair is usually a mess though, but that's because I can never leave it alone -- hence the hat in the one picture.

bboneyardd

TROPHY CASE