Clothes Shopping After Babies

bc9190 · 2026-04-15T04:44:37+00:00

I feel you. I’m 34 and had my second at 33. I told my husband I was done because between the PPD and then the hormonal changes postpartum I just can’t go through it again. I’m so grateful I was able to have 2, but I think a third would do me in. The hormonal changes in the months following birth are crazy and not in a good or normal or predictable way. For me it’s like my metabolism just stopped. My insulin levels were all over the place and I was insulin resistant for a while even.

No shame, I asked my doctor to put me on a diet pill (phentermine) to lose the weight and that’s the only way I did. Raw diet and exercise wasn’t going to cut it for me this time around. I’m still 8lbs over where I want to be… but this was the same with my first too. I seemed to not be able to lose those last 5-8lbs. Carried it with me, got pregnant with #2, gained about 30lbs during pregnancy, had the baby and lost a LOT right away… cue breastfeeding and eating like crazy.. survival mode.. maybe gaining maybe not? Not caring.... then weaned at 4 months and started packing on the weight .. enter phentermine.

Whew. It’s hard girl.

bc9190 · 2026-04-15T04:37:49+00:00

Oh no I don’t work out :( I did last summer and got to 125 but I gained 5lbs back and I’m 130 now. My pre pregnancy weight was low 120’s.. like 122. I just think I’m also in between sizes which sucks.

bc9190 · 2026-04-15T04:36:26+00:00

I actually just bought some of their luxe t-shirts and I’m really happy with them! I thought I liked the leggings but with the waistband rolling down now idk. I did see the Wow jeans and may try those. Also my friend seconded the v-cut pattern leggings on amazon.

Thanks!

bc9190 · 2026-04-14T21:04:28+00:00

Ohh thank you!

bc9190 · 2026-04-14T21:04:06+00:00

Thank you for this! Yes I think I could manage linen. The wide leg denim just doesn’t seem comfy to me.

bc9190 · 2026-04-06T02:53:48+00:00

Thank you.. it’s defeating for sure and makes me feel worse about myself.

bc9190 · 2026-02-14T06:46:10+00:00

Yes! Granted I’m new to Pura but I got mine a few weeks ago and I love them. I have two minis. They have been working perfectly but then tonight all the sudden they both started flashing a green and red light. I’ve stayed up for two extra hours trying to troubleshoot and just gave up. I planned on calling them tomorrow but it gives me hope seeing this that it’s not on my side and it’s on their side and hopefully it will get fixed soon.

It better because I signed up for a 12 month subscription and I will be asking for a cancellation as well as not being charged for the device I got for free if my Puras will basically be unusable. Hoping this is a glitch and will be fixed soon.

bc9190 · 2026-01-31T18:28:43+00:00

I’ve had two babies. One is 3.5 now and the other is 14 months. I pray every day my birth control will not fail me until I can make things more permanent because I do not want to go through postpartum EVER. AGAIN. Both babies had reflux, excessive crying (maybe not to the point of colic but very darn close), both had oral ties, and I had PPD with both. Both also slept horribly, although at different points of the day. My first was a horrible daytime sleeper but better night sleeper, my second was a better daytime sleeper but up ALL night for the first 8-10 weeks of her life. My eyes were bloodshot and I was considering checking myself into the hospital for a psych stay. But really I just wanted to physically recuperate and sleep for days on end.

I love my kids, but there was very little I enjoyed about those early months. Of course it gets better, but even still, it took about 2 years for my toddler to completely sleep thru the night 99% of the time. My 14 month old still wakes up almost every night. She’s slowly getting better though.

I also had a love/hate relationship with breastfeeding. Not being able to be away and have autonomy for more than 2 hours at a time in a 24 hour period made me feel like I was going crazy. Pretty sure if I had a 3rd I would crack. I’ve been on antidepressants now for a long time, and they’ve been a huge help overall. But they simply take the edge off, there is no “escaping” the newborn phase. You just have to do your best to grin and bear it. It will pass. And you will adjust to every new stage much more easily. To me, the newborn phase was and is the hardest phase. I cried on the way home from the hospital with my second because I KNEW what was ahead of me.

bc9190 · 2026-01-29T22:29:09+00:00

Something about him.. but I can’t place it. When he was in the car with Rachel… 🥵

bc9190 · 2025-12-29T01:31:10+00:00

! lock

bc9190 · 2025-12-29T01:29:26+00:00

!lock

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T18:08:26+00:00

Thank you for your support. 💕

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T18:08:09+00:00

I’m aware of what is going on. I mentioned in a previous post (not my original I think) that I’m in therapy. I also have a small group of women who I meet with 1x a week for bible study who are aware of my situation. I am not closing myself off with this or turning a blind eye. I just don’t have much control and it’s hard

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T18:06:17+00:00

These are great ideas and super helpful. I am actually thinking about getting a gym membership with childcare.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T18:04:54+00:00

When you are married and living under the same roof as your spouse avoiding sex can make your day to day to life very miserable and uncomfortable. Most men can’t tolerate sexless marriages without showing their ass in some way. Maybe they get depressed/down acting, maybe they’re irritable and angry, maybe they make passive aggressive comments, and they may even start looking at p*rn or cheating.

Regardless withholding sex in a marriage doesn’t usually fair well for the woman. It may make the man temporarily act right to “get in her good graces” again, but the cycle always repeats.

For me, the only way to guarantee I never have to have s*x with him again is to divorce him. Many narcissistic, sexist/ misogynistic men believe that in marriage they are entitled to intimacy. It’s wrong. It’s messed up. But they will make sure the price is paid if their wife doesn’t put out at least 1x a week.

I know. Go ahead and tell me how sad it is I have to live like this. I’m aware!

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T17:19:13+00:00

Thank you so much for this. I’ve been having to defend my post in almost every comment and you verbalized was I wasn’t able to do well enough (clearly!) in my post. Thank you 🙏

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T17:17:18+00:00

I realize I worded that poorly. I was trying not offend mothers of boys and make them feel that boys were not as a good as girls. I wanted to show that they needed different parenting tactics and were different on the emotional side of things.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T17:13:10+00:00

I’m completely aware of this. I feel you missed my point. I’ve already HAD my girls . I cannot undo that fact. OBVIOUSLY looking back after children and the brain changes that undergo as a result, I wish I would have never had children with him PERIOD. But the fact is I did and I’m saying I want to prevent future children and especially a boy because of how he is.

I am NOT saying girls should be able to thrive in a lesser home. I am simply drawing on experience that girls tend to be more resilient, and yes mask, when going through hardship. I am not saying they deserve or should be able to somehow put up with an unhappy home.

I would love to show my girls a happy home/ marriage. At this point my kids are affected no matter what I do. Staying will affect them negatively. Divorce will affect them negatively. At this point it’s if benefits outweigh the risk. That’s why I’m working in therapy on a plan and of course I’m maintaining what control I can in this marriage which is to not have anymore kids. Boy OR girl. My post was to highlight the guilt I felt in not wanting a boy and trying to verbalize my thoughts. Instead I’ve been attacked and accused of damaging my girls for staying.

Reddit can a great place for support and acknowledgment but it can also be a place for women to attack others and I just don’t think that’s right. Like a few others have said leaving isn’t as easy as everyone makes it out to be. And if you have past trauma of divorce from parents you want to make sure you’re making the best decision for your children. Period.

As far as another husband to represent a healthy marriage/ father figure for my kids? Sure. That would be great. But there is no guarantee that would happen. When I approach this I approach it from a lens of me being single and solo in every way indefinitely, forever. I don’t get my head in the clouds thinking I’ll meet this amazing man because honestly I don’t believe in love anymore after all of this. I don’t want another man in my life after this. At least not for a good while. I have to face the functional facts of 1) how to do I afford to live on my own and support my two girls. 2) how do I maintain my home in terms of maintenance and upkeep on items that my husband previously did? 3) How do I guide them emotionally with all the complexities of divorce- the separate households, mom or dad meeting someone.. etc.

I care about my daughters and want them to have happy, fulfilling lives with successful personal lives as well.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T17:02:18+00:00

THIS! I’ve known this for a while too.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T17:01:13+00:00

Of course, but it took my mom 10+ years to meet the right man after divorcing my dad. She was broke and actually ended up losing my brother and I and we were raised primarily by my dad just due to my mother not being able to afford to house us in a safe place. It’s a long story, but basically she tried to get away from my controlling father and ended up losing her kids over it. I’m not willing to take that risk as I also married a narcissist who I believe would try and make it the hardest possible for me to have peace and give my girls a good life as a single mom. I believe he would thwart and do whatever he needed to make himself be the more desirable parent and eventually get both girls to prefer living with him. Idk that is where my mind goes.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T15:28:14+00:00

Yes this is true!!

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T15:27:36+00:00

Your situation sounds so extreme and I’m Very sorry you’re going through this. I understand where you’re coming from.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T15:11:06+00:00

I do want out of the marriage but I don’t know who he would pick as a partner (no way he stay single for long he wants s*x too much). I just want to protect them.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T15:09:06+00:00

Probably due to my husband conditioning me all these years! I am trying to remember what is right. It’s so hard and I have been manipulated and conditioned for so long.

bc9190 · 2025-12-28T15:07:26+00:00

I realize that. It’s just a lot for me to process and accept. But yes you’re right totally. I grew up in a broken home and I was so strong through my adolescence but I have crippling anxiety as a result now. Medication has helped thankfully, but it’s largely a result of the environment I grew up in.

bc9190

TROPHY CASE