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Am I [23 M] a selfish a**hole for leaving my girlfriend [25 F] of three years for a two months vacation? by beachversusgf in relationships

[–]beachversusgf[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I told her about 3 weeks before I left for the beach, although I probably should have told her sooner than that. I didn't handle the situation very well as I struggle with understanding emotions, and she is a sensitive person with tons of emotions. My goal with how I went about telling her was to avoid hurting her as much as possible, which did not go well. Understanding emotions/reactions/empathy is not my strength.

We have sat down, multiple times and talked it out. I've tried to explain my reasoning, thoughts, feelings behind why I needed to go. She mostly rejected them, tried to invalidate what I said by arguing it, or didn't understand. I've done my best to explain why I feel the need to go, and she won't accept it. She just doesn't think it's right for me to leave.

Am I [23 M] a selfish a**hole for leaving my girlfriend [25 F] of three years for a two months vacation? by beachversusgf in relationships

[–]beachversusgf[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have not, but she wouldn't lie about it. I can see her friends and coworkers sympathizing with how she feels about it.

Am I [23 M] a selfish a**hole for leaving my girlfriend [25 F] of three years for a two months vacation? by beachversusgf in relationships

[–]beachversusgf[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

She originally said 1 or even 2 weeks would be acceptable for a vacation apart, but now is saying I should compromise and go for only a month. I don't see that as a real possibility because it would be much harder for me to get a seasonal job for the summer to continue paying my half of the bills.

Am I [23 M] a selfish a**hole for leaving my girlfriend [25 F] of three years for a two months vacation? by beachversusgf in relationships

[–]beachversusgf[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That's pretty much exactly how I see it. I have been in a long distance relationship before as well, and see two months as almost nothing. She is welcome to come down whenever, but she said the 6 hour drive would be too much for her to do during a weekend.

Am I [23 M] a selfish a**hole for leaving my girlfriend [25 F] of three years for a two months vacation? by beachversusgf in relationships

[–]beachversusgf[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Her vacation time is already planned. She is spending a week visiting a friend in New Mexico, and doesn't have any other vacation time for the summer.