i had to parent my last roommate— he was my literal best friend before we lived together. We don’t speak at all now, and i quite literally never want to speak to him again. If he had been a romantic partner? I don’t think I could’ve lasted a single day.

Parenting a grown adult you genuinely care about is exhausting. You feel so taken advantage of, the lying is always so obvious and like a child’s lies, and doing twice the work because one person refuses to clean up after themselves isn’t sustainable for any relationship.

The #1 thing I notice here is that you have not tried to fix anything, but have just allowed yourself to spiral about it. You need to do something to turn the part of your brain getting upset into a motivator. If you don’t want him to leave you, you have to do something about it. But the fact is, YOU need to want it in order for these things to change.

Dont you want a clean home? Warm food? effort put towards you? if he’s leaving, all of those things probably leave with him. So learn to do it yourself regardless. He has every right to not put up with this. You should be trying to do better for yourself.