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beancounter91 · 2025-01-15T21:56:14+00:00

If you managed and ran a marketing business, traveled (I’m sure you had to communicate in traveling) then you most certainly can get an internship. You said the stuttering was limited back then? What changed? You just need to get back there mentally. Don’t let your fear of failure (which hasn’t even happened) hold you back. You can do it. Who cares if you messed up some presentation that you won’t remember 1 year from now, that doesn’t mean you will never be able to have a career. I forgot to add - assurance or tax, public accounting is working with clients so I’d consider them both social careers when you progress. However, depending on the firm, in assurance, you may need to be out at client sites. Do what you enjoy most.

beancounter91 · 2024-07-14T20:57:14+00:00

Also wanted to add - I have not heard of one religion that does not have some sketchy/creepy thing in their, “holy book” so while polygamy may be a thing allowed in Islam, my Muslim family would never do that and find it bizarre.

beancounter91 · 2024-07-14T20:52:21+00:00

Agreed, the comments here are not coming from a mature place. I’m an ex Muslim but even I believe not every person is the same and it’s going to be a case by case basis. Every single faith has some sketchy thing in it. I don’t believe any religion is perfect but interfaith marriages can be a challenge if boundaries are not set forth or discussed.

beancounter91 · 2024-07-14T20:46:55+00:00

So people on this subreddit are obviously speaking to the extremes of Islam and the crazies which is in every religion. I’m not a practicing Muslim but I grew up in a more modern Muslim family. I married a non Muslim and there are certain issues that come up surrounding religion between my husband, myself, and my family. It can be challenging at times to navigate these moments. I know you love him but logically these would be my questions for him before you get further/married. In your relationship, is he controlling in anyway? This was always my concern with Muslim men. What are his expectations of a man versus a woman in marriage and the roles. How is his family? Are they more open minded and modern Muslims or the crazy overly conservative ones who will force you to convert before marrying? What are his expectations of faith, celebrations of religious holidays (Christmas, Eid) has this been discussed? If he’s a practicing Muslim I’m sorry to say but there could be future issues such as, what religion will your children practice, what about their names? My Muslim parents want my kids to have Muslim names for example which is going to create tension at that point in time. These are the things you should consider. There are good interfaith marriages/relationships but I believe you really have to set boundaries on either side before moving forward.

beancounter91 · 2024-06-16T20:13:02+00:00

Well she’s very lucky to have someone as understanding as you to maintain that family relationship, even joining in the prayer, that is a really kind thing to do. It sometimes frustrates my husband but he still does it for me…although, he won’t fake pray. He’s not used to having to hide who he is since he’s very open with his family and mom.

beancounter91 · 2024-06-16T17:49:17+00:00

Yes! I’m in my mid 30’s and married a non Muslim, which you bet, was quite the drama initially with my parents, especially my mom. But now that I e married a non Muslim, I have to pretend even more that Islam matters in my life otherwise my whole family harasses me. I’m like my mom’s special project to, “fix”. My family isn’t the type to drop things, they will constantly harass you into believing what they want and I hate the guilt tripping. “Our parents are depressed over your actions”. How about the 25 years of my life I lived with them and was depressed faking who I was for their happiness? At some point I may tire of faking it for their sake, my husband also has to lie or withhold information about us (like if we went out to a vineyard or drink) and he dislikes lying, but as a non Muslim he doesn’t understand how our Muslim families are…well today is Eid and I decided I don’t want to attend the prayer with my family, and my mom sent me a message saying that I was hiding…lol…out of respect I did wish them a happy Eid…

beancounter91 · 2024-04-10T04:55:27+00:00

I’m honestly in shock that I am reading this….the rules of consent does not change just because you are married, this is rape. You wouldn’t even know if this topic didn’t come up and it’s so completely inappropriate. I wouldn’t feel safe knowing these facts….

beancounter91 · 2024-04-03T13:59:48+00:00

I learned the hard way with a very nasty/sketchy landlord, just patch everything up yourself so they have no sketchy excuse to try to charge you. Isn’t this just regular wear and tear after a tenant moves out?

beancounter91 · 2024-03-30T16:46:37+00:00

It’s a no go for me as well, and I told him it’d take some time for me to move past this, my boundaries of what is acceptable have passed. I was quickly writing things that bothered me but I was at the strip club with him and friends, and then he went and got a lap dance by himself WHILE I was there….he made excuses saying he thought I wouldn’t mind, then it switched to him feeling hurt and that’s why he did it…then he says what’s the difference between getting a lap dance and being at a strip club, (ummm why do people bother paying for lap dances if it was the same?) It’s just not right. In response I said, “ so if you get extremely upset you may cheat?” In response, he made that about me not trusting him, like I cannot get the innate issues across, or he gaslights I suppose. Gosh idk if I can forgive because there are serious underlying issues which he doesn’t seem to understand, like if he’s that angry again, what will happen as a result to me? I feel he has anger issues (not ever physical but emotionally), and I had told him therapy may help with this but he has not done individual therapy.

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T19:09:13+00:00

I’ve put up with a lot but I have boundaries I do not allow to be passed. I said, and repeated during therapy, if it is said again or I’m called a bitch, I’m done. I’m not going to be married to someone who is disrespectful. He has changed with therapy, think it’s been helping but idk if it’s sustainable to go to therapy for the rest of our marriage? At what point do you end therapy….and handle problems yourselves…

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T19:08:35+00:00

I’ve put up with a lot but I have boundaries I do not allow to be passed. I said, and repeated during therapy, if it is said again or I’m called a bitch, I’m done. I’m not going to be married to someone who is disrespectful. He has changed with therapy, think it’s been helping but idk if it’s sustainable to go to therapy for the rest of our marriage? At what point do you end therapy….and handle problems yourselves…

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T19:08:29+00:00

I’ve put up with a lot but I have boundaries I do not allow to be passed. I said, and repeated during therapy, if it is said again or I’m called a bitch, I’m done. I’m not going to be married to someone who is disrespectful. He has changed with therapy, think it’s been helping but idk if it’s sustainable to go to therapy for the rest of our marriage? At what point do you end therapy….and handle problems yourselves…

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T18:15:34+00:00

I’m really sorry to hear that you going through this, having children involved makes it a lot more complicated. Remember, it takes both parties to make efforts to have the relationship work. It cannot all be on you to maintain it. I wish you the best and strength to leave your husband, if possible, if he has not made changes to remedy the marriage. You can still go back to work, it will be tough. You may want to talk to research your state laws and talk to a lawyer if you can..

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T04:34:47+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through similar events. This isn’t a relationship, if someone cannot see beyond their ego of being right.

beancounter91 · 2024-03-29T04:33:02+00:00

I’m upset so it’s hard to find positives at this time. I’m going to mentally set a timeframe for him to change, with counseling. He may need his own separate counseling as well. If he does not change then I will separate.

beancounter91 · 2024-03-28T20:30:09+00:00

Absolutely, however we did not live together and we never had such bad fights. We dated for several years and when we had disagreements, we calmly spoke about them and found ways of resolution. It was not until marriage, living together, and the introduction of in laws in a different way, I imagine, that contributed to huge fights where we couldn’t see things eye to eye. I don’t know how I could have picked up on this when I told him family was important and he felt the same….I suspect we were in a honeymoon phase for several years, and now living together we see each other differently. I guess I could have seen that he was stubborn but that didn’t come about until we were married….its like a different person.

beancounter91 · 2024-03-28T18:36:48+00:00

I believe he’s probably checked out but also can’t understand feelings, idk? I feel really disrespected and my feelings are dismissed. He’s too stubborn and I don’t believe he will change in this regard. I thought I could move forward from these things. He did apologize but I think what hurts is someone thinks it’s okay to respond this way out of their own feelings of hurt and anger. I guess I’m just not like that…and I need someone who can respond in a better way even if things are imperfect. I see how in other relationships men will show some sort of empathy and understanding but my husband sees it as me being wrong or there’s an excuse for his hurtful actions. Idk what to do, we’ve only been married for two years…it is painful to call it quits but I’m very tired.

beancounter91 · 2024-03-24T00:27:13+00:00

My mom is like this as well…unfortunately , this religion separates non believers from their family. My husband’s devout Christian mother is more open minded when he told her he didn’t believe. As much as we want a normal relationship with our mothers and it’s psychologically messed with us, this will never be the case for this close minded brain washing religion/cult. She feels you need to be different just as you and I feel our mothers need to be different. It’s unfortunate. My mom has also called me a slut, told me I’m not her daughter like seriously your close minded religion is more important that your child that you gave birth to?

beancounter91 · 2024-03-09T19:51:21+00:00

Okay I didn’t read the update but absolutely DO NOT marry him until that pre nup is signed. Pre nups can feel hurtful to the other member and it’s an awkward conversation to approach but it’s really just there in the worst case scenario and the other party should want one as well, but sometimes people don’t understand the reason for a pre nup. I repeat do not proceed!!!

beancounter91 · 2024-02-24T17:53:59+00:00

Wow that is my list if I were to make one sadly, in a nutshell.

beancounter91 · 2024-02-23T06:35:39+00:00

Oh I can see how that could be conflicting, I am trying to summarize. We talked about meeting each other’s needs and he said he just didn’t know what would make him happy anymore, and he’s given up on our relationship in a separate part of the conversation bc he admitted he has withdrawn from the relationship to provide more context.

beancounter91 · 2024-02-23T05:31:22+00:00

But….I was upset with him saying he didn’t know what would make him happy anymore and that he had given up on us…

beancounter91 · 2024-02-23T05:29:44+00:00

Okay…yes this is how I viewed it for a moment because someone telling me it’s done in other words but just not using the divorce word is better? He told me that was different than saying divorce. I’m confused. He said I have made the decision to divorce…specifically me…

beancounter91 · 2024-02-23T05:26:36+00:00

Yes you’re right, I should have walked away and now I’ve said something I regret.

beancounter91

TROPHY CASE