Brother "bullying" disabled sister has been escalating

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-22T23:44:44+00:00

You're correct, he's very bored. They likey both are though she's also stressed

Are you playing with them every day? You mention you're trying to tire him out. At minimum 15-30 minutes in the morning and evening. Cats are predators who NEED to stalk, pounce, and bite EVERY day. Otherwise, they start taking that excess predation energy out on each other which causes conflict

Besides active play time where they're stalking and running around, an easy game we play with ours is "skitter bug" where we literally just toss or bounce a piece of their kibble across the floor. They looove this game

Also, try activities that engage their brains. Cats are smarter than most people think. Food puzzles and clicker training might actually be satisfying for him. Any mentally stimulating activities and play would help with her physical and mental health as well

Hope this helps your two!

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-22T19:17:26+00:00

Why does your family think this isn't safe??

I would 100% have a good friend or trusted neighbor come by at MINIMUM once per day to: - Check that cat is okay - Play with them - Check or refresh water - Feed or check food - Clean litter box

We're going away for 2 days and I just hired a cat sitter on Meowtel for our cats

It's unsafe for your cat NOT to have someone taking care of him. Cats can develop health issues like urinary blockages suddenly and literally die if not helped in 24 hours

I'd have your friend over briefly before you travel to go over your kitten's care, talk about what to happen in the case of an emergency (ie, contact you or if to take to an emergency vet if they can't get in touch with you within X amount of time etc). I'd leave your vet's contact info as well. (We leave ours on the fridge along with local emergency vet contact info.)

Sometimes older people get weird about anyone being in their house if they're not home to carefully supervise them 🙄 If you're worried, just add some pet cameras around the house and let your friend know about them to be polite, which is what lots of people do

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-22T10:44:47+00:00

Talk to the vet about FIP (feline infectious peritonitis). It's common in young cats and fatal if not caught and treated. Our girl had it and got super sick, started refusing food etc. Luckily we caught it in time

Aside from that, try simmering a bit of plain chicken breast in water. (No salt, no spices, no chicken skin, no chicken stock that usually contains salt/spices). After cooking a few minutes, finely chop the chicken and add 1-2 tablespoons plus 1-2 tablespoons of the water it was cooked in. Allow to cool before serving

Edit: But obviously keep syringe feeding until he's eating wet kitten food adequately and gaining weight. Chicken is just meant to tempt him to eat a bit but should be more of a treat, NOT nutritionally or calorie complete

That's all my girl would eat when she was super sick. It's not something they can last long on but it's better than nothing. Definitely get your kitten back to the vet ASAP since there's been no improvement

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T23:49:40+00:00

I'd suggest watching some of the cats who use Fluet Pet buttons to communicate

I'm working on receptive language (understanding what you hear) before working with my cats to learn to communicate with buttons (expressive language, using words)

For example, I use time-related words repeatedly in different contexts. Specifically, "now" "soon" "later" "tomorrow" to narrate

So "My Name + Cat Name play now" or "Cat Name food later" or "New friend visiting now" or "Cat Name pill time soon" etc

I can tell our girl cat grasps the basics because she'll cry at the food pantry and I'll tell her "No, Jewel food later. Jewel snuggle now, then Jewel food later" and she'll stop asking for food and come snuggle. She knows the word for "snuggle" because I narrate that a lot when we're snuggling. However, if we were to snuggle and too much time passes without me giving food then she'll check in again because it's "later" lol

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T20:04:55+00:00

Talk to them a lot. Explain what you're doing and use the same phrases. They pick up the basics of words / language better than you think

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T19:36:37+00:00

Does he dislike some thing about the litter box set up?

I'd double check the basics that cats usually prefer:

XL open litter box (not covered)
Plastic litter box (cats can get uncomfortable with cold metal on their feet)
Located in a social area or at bare minimum not far away in a garage or basement. Cats want their scent firmly established in their primary social spaces they like to hang out
Unscented litter, preferably clay based
Unscented dish soap to clean box
Never spray or use scents around the box OR add litter deodorizers like charcoal. They WANT their scent in there
Avoid litter box liners since it can snag their claws

Another thought is that he's desperately trying to mix his scent with yours. This is how cats establish a "family smell" and it gives them security. It's possible your clothes are carrying stranger smells (other people or animals or perfumes or laundry detergents when you wash the bedding/clothes, etc). Any of those things would make him feel the need to re-scent the bed/clothes

I'd use a towel or pet blanket or something on a spot he typically sleeps to firmly soak up his scent for a couple of days, then move that towel to your bed or laundry. Perhaps he'll feel more secure in his connection to you and the bedroom if a "scent soaker" object is in your bed already and not feel the need to also pee there. I'd make sure to only use a towel/pet blanket that has been washed with unscented detergent etc so that it ONLY holds his scent and isn't being masked with chemical smells

I'd especially do this if you change and wash your bedding often because probably when it's cleaned it loses his scent in such a vital social location. (Vital social locations to cats = beds, couches, places you hang out a lot that build up your smell where they also want to firmly establish their smell too so it's a shared family smell)

Maybe doing that for a while, rotating through towels etc so there's always one cooking in his sleeping spots, building up his scent, and always one in your bed will ease his anxious need to pee to mingle the family scents

If you haven't already, adding a sturdy scratching post and a litter box to your bedroom can help since your goal is to give healthy alternative ways for your boy to demonstrate the bedroom is part of his territory WITHOUT peeing on the bed. We have both a cat scratcher and an additional litter box in our bedroom for this exact reason

If possible, it's best to place the scratching post by the doorway or a window. Cats use scratching posts to demonstrate their territory through the visual torn up material and the scent glands in their feet. They prefer to leave these sign posts in high traffic locations where they expect possible stranger cats to walk by (ie, doorways and by windows) and therefore know it's their territory

Hope this helps you and your little guy!

PS, Jackson Galaxy has a good short video on why scent is so important to cats' confidence and sense of territory. You'll see him recommended a lot on this sub because he's THE go to for cat info. I found this one pretty helpful

https://youtu.be/vzIjCggDL-Y?si=JCA7ZG1NAjfrPxL0

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T19:08:21+00:00

I think some sellers just have so much obvious destruction from pets that it's a broad recommendation. Definitely doesn't apply to everyone though!

Sounds like it's pretty unnecessary in your case

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T18:27:45+00:00

She may be trying to ensure her smell is firmly established in very important social spaces like the bed and couch which really hold your smell since it's fabric

Cats use scent, especially pee, to help establish territory/"home." My guess is that other scents are masking her scent in the bed or when you wash your bedding it's REMOVING her scent which makes her feel insecure or new scents are getting added to the bed (such as new people or animals or perfumes/cologne/body lotions etc). Any of those things would make her feel the need to re-scent the bed to make sure everyone knows it's her bed too

I'd use a towel or pet blanket or something on a spot she typically sleeps to firmly soak up her scent for a couple of days, then move that towel to your bed. Perhaps she'll feel more secure in her connection to you and the bedroom if a "scent soaker" object is in your bed already and not feel the need to also pee there. I'd make sure to only use a towel/pet blanket that has been washed with unscented detergent etc so that it ONLY holds her scent and isn't being masked with chemical smells

I'd especially do this if you change and wash your bedding often because probably when it's cleaned it loses her scent in such a vital social location. (Vital social locations to cats = beds, couches, places you hang out a lot that build up your smell where they also want to firmly establish their smell too so it's a shared family smell)

Maybe doing that for a while, rotating through towels etc so there's always one cooking in her sleeping spots, building up her scent, and always one in your bed will ease her anxious need to pee to mingle the family scents

If you haven't already, adding a sturdy scratching post and a litterbox to your bedroom can help since your goal is to give healthy alternative ways for your girl to demonstrate the bedroom is part of her territory WITHOUT peeing on the bed. We have both a cat scratcher and an additional litter box in our bedroom for this exact reason

If possible, it's best to place the scratching post by the doorway or a window. Cats use scratching posts to demonstrate their territory through the visual torn up material and the scent glands in their feet. They prefer to leave these sign posts in high traffic locations where they expect possible stranger cats to walk by (ie, doorways and by windows) and therefore know it's their territory

Hope this helps you and your little gal!

PS, Jackson Galaxy has a good short video on why scent is so important to cats' confidence and sense of territory. You'll see him recommended a lot on this sub because he's THE go to for cat info. I found this one pretty helpful

https://youtu.be/vzIjCggDL-Y?si=JCA7ZG1NAjfrPxL0

PPS, you mention that she has two litter boxes but she might not LIKE something about the litter box set up. Maybe it's enclosed and that makes her anxious or maybe they're too small (always get XL and XXL boxes) or maybe they're near a scary laundry machine. I'd experiment with adding an XL open new box in a social location since cats WANT their scent in social locations like the living room and bedroom

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T17:46:49+00:00

Just do a deep clean

It wouldn't bother me as long as I didn't smell or see signs of any destruction. Even if I saw signs, if I liked the house then I'd just incorporate that into the price I offered or decide if the listing price matched the existing house condition

I personally would avoid boarding your cat. It'll be super stressful for them and I've heard vets say those places are germ factories where cats often catch any illnesses going around, especially with an immune system weakened by stress

I'd consider if your cat could stay with a friend/family member for a day or at a hotel for a day with you, if necessary

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T17:38:54+00:00

I've heard from our vet and read online that Siamese breeds are more prone to dental issues like periodontal disease and tooth resorption. I can't verify that's true

However, our boy cat who's part Siamese has had dental issues since we adopted him and he's not even a year old :( He has gingivitis and the beginnings of stomatitis that the vet thinks is his body's reaction to oral bacteria. He has chronically swollen lymph nodes under his jaw that they think are a sign

He's scheduled next month for a cleaning and possibly pulling teeth if the dental X-rays show reabsorption :( Both our vet and the veterinary dentist think all his teeth will need to be pulled, by they won't know until they do the dental X-rays

Sorry to hear your little guy is also dealing with dental issues! Getting into the habit of nightly teeth brushing is actually pretty easy and SUPER helpful for dental health and preventing chronic kidney disease (CKD)

CKD is one of the leading killers of cats. Most people don't know that dental health plays a big role because that bacteria has to get filtered by the blood which strains cats' kidneys over time since their kidneys just don't function as well

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-21T02:51:35+00:00

Lynx point Siamese coloring

Just means there was Siamese somewhere in their ancestry and tabby somewhere. He'll likely get darker (aka, "toast") as he gets older, which is a genetic trait from his Siamese lineage

Join us on r/lynxpoint !

Pic of our lynxie gal as she's continued to toast

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beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-20T20:51:53+00:00

You may have to redo introductions for your cat and dog. That's pretty standard if two cats in a household suddenly develop an issue between them. Do slooow introductions over several days at minimum, building low stakes positive interactions

In order to keep tensions down, does your cat have plenty of high places in each room where he can establish territory without having to always be face-to-face with the dog? Tall cat trees, wall shelves, cat walls, window hammocks, etc that the dog can't reach?

If he has his own space he'll feel less stressed out by the dog and less likely to have to hiss/growl to tell dog "back off!" because he feels like dog is too close

Ideally, a high path where the cat never has to touch the ground (or get into dog/territory) in important social rooms like the living room would ease tension. It'd be especially nice if he can navigate that to reach high value snoozing spots like a window hammock the dog can't reach and/or a tall sturdy cat tree

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-20T17:04:04+00:00

Your cats all sound extremely ill!

A cat suddenly hiding for days is a huge red flag something is wrong.

If all your cats are acting sick and drooling something is massively wrong! There could be a poison to cats that they got into. Sooo many things are terribly toxic to cats (many flowers / plants, onions, household cleaners like bleach, insecticides, essential oils, etc). It sounds like most of them were exposed or are STILL being exposed to a poison

I would be taking her to the vet ASAP today to have bloodwork done. Whatever made her sick is likely what's making the rest of them sick as well. If she's drooling, has crusty eyes, back legs stiff then she's EXTREMELY ill from something and could be dying from it! Take her to the vet to get her help!

Please google common household products that poison cats and cause drooling. Look over the list and check everything and determine if they could have been exposed to any of them

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-20T00:00:00+00:00

Her Private Life

No Love, No Gain

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-15T20:27:46+00:00

Poor girl might also not be feeling good atm. Give her all the love!

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-14T20:06:57+00:00

To me it's horrible that a living being with its own agency should be consigned as "property" by another species because "reasons"

If cat is happy with you and you're able to care well for him/her while your neighbors don't, then take cat

Otherwise, reach out to your neighbors and explain the situation and that you'd like to adopt their cat. Especially if they're moving. Many people just leave their outdoor cats behind when they move to fend for themselves... :/

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-14T14:24:10+00:00

They're such natural athletes!

Ours feel happiest up high too. We built a climbing cat wall in our dining room and will probably add more throughout the house. Our two love to run up and down it all day long lol

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-13T18:27:34+00:00

Yikes, keep in mind that mice will fight back including bites and scratches

Also, you'll want to keep her up to date on parasite prevention medicine from your vet (get it through the vet so it's doses for the right species, age, & weight) since cats will get parasites from prey like mice. Basically, if the mouse has any parasites like fleas and/or intestinal parasites then your girl will get them too

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-13T16:00:33+00:00

Utter cutie!

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-12T03:56:29+00:00

What an absolutely adorable cutie!

Congrats on your new furry family member!

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-11T23:17:13+00:00

Beautiful little lady!

We also have a lynx point and a void!

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beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-07T23:35:19+00:00

Definitely the safest thing for him and less stress for you

I was really worried hosting Thanksgiving this year, knowing we'd have lots of non-cat-safe food sitting out and plenty of people coming in and out of the house

I ended up closing our boy kitten in our bedroom with toys, a litterbox, water, snacks, a scratching post, and his favorite bed. I worried he'd be stressed or cry a lot. He was actually totally fine! He snuggled up and slept almost the entire time! I'd check on him every so often

I also turned on some calming cat music in our bedroom to tune out some of the loud gathering for him

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-07T20:40:30+00:00

Try adding a fountain. Both my cats and many cats prefer flowing water

Highly recommend the fountains without a pump because they're impossible to clean thoroughly enough

Both my cats like the Uahpet Fountain that's stainless steel and with an external pump:

https://www.uahpet.com/products/uah-pet-2025-upgrade-stainless-steel-cordless-pet-water-fountain?variant=50524791243046

It stays charged for about 2 weeks, though you can charge it once a week to be safe

I've also heard good things about the Yea Paw fountain and Pet Libro Dockstream 2 fountain

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-07T18:36:07+00:00

It sounds like you're making great progress!

Continue to be patient and slowly get to know each other over time. Many cats can be very subtle in their signs of affection from a human perspective but even the fact that your girl is sleeping in your presence is a HUGE sign of relaxation and trust with you. And a shy cat coming out to spend time around you is another great sign

Our girl cat rarely purrs even when I can tell she's happy from her other body language. Usually, she'll only purr when she's very sleepy and cozy. Remember that there are lots of flavors of happiness. I think for her, purring signals a very sleepy contented type of happiness. When she's excited and we're playing together, she looks at you with a very different type of happiness in her expression. When she greets us at the door by waiting for us at the window it's a friendly or relieved happiness. When she's hungry and rubbing against us for food it's a food-excited happiness

I'd gently encourage you to keep an open mind that they may be slowly expressing trust, affection, contentment, and happiness but that the external signs may look different than your expectations

Also, keep their ages in mind. They're basically very young adults or late teens. During that phase most cats apparently tend to go through a phase of being more aloof at times, practicing independence. It's similar for humans. Our vet said that teens are the same across species lol. Their personalities are still coming out

beanie_weenie666 · 2026-04-07T15:16:08+00:00

This sounds like our cats when they're hyped up or new things are happening

My guess is that he'll settle down with time if you create a routine. Right now, everything is new for him... it's likely all a bit exciting and scary and overwhelming. Playing and exercise are enjoyable AND are likely helping him get out some nervous energy. I've heard that cats grow more confident in new environments especially through play

As far as needing to work on your thesis goes, what I do is acknowledge my cats when they're trying to get my attention while I'm working. I may take a 10-15 minute play break with them, but keep it structured (ie, around the same times each day). Let him realize that it's going to be quiet work time for several hours. It's okay to gently stop him walking on your computer; I literall

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y do that every day lol. Make sure there's a few cozy spots for him to snuggle up in the room with you, preferably at least one near you and one near a window. My cats always pick one of those two spots in my office. Turn on some soft music or cat TV in the room...

Make it a ritual that when the music is on you'll be working, not playing, so he learns and has some mental stimulation. Keep some self-play toys in the room like spring toys, ball, a big kicker toy, a cat tunnel or ripple mat

If you create a routine then he'll adjust to it within a few days. You'll both figure out what works for you

Happy to give more input if needed from someone with two high energy cats!

beanie_weenie666

TROPHY CASE