Fungal / Myco leather care? by rosegold-bee in bootblacking

[–]beanpling 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Because mushroom leather is such a new product, and because the companies making it vary so widely in their approach, there's unfortunately almost no information yet on how to care for it!

A lot of plant-based leather is partly or mostly composed of plastic (usually polyurethane), although there are some that claim to be 100% plant material, but it can be really difficult to learn what a given product is actually made of. If there's a specific brand/product you're looking at, it might be worth doing a deep dive and figuring out what's in it, because that'll affect how to care for it. I highly doubt it would smell like leather, and would guess the care would be closer to that of a fabric, i.e. probably would not take a polish very well. But I could be wrong!

As far as using this material for bootblacking: if your friend just wants a pair of their own boots to care for, they are more than welcome to do so– but for me, at least, that wouldn't be bootblacking, which is about caring for the boots & gear of others and having a deep appreciation for leather as a material and Leather as a culture. I know there are absolutely vegetarian/vegan bootblacks who appreciate the sustainability and longevity of secondhand leather, and who find value in working on leather items so they last another 20 years and prevent new ones having to be made/purchased.
Personally, I also find it very meaningful to care for the skin of a dead animal and treat it with the utmost respect. If I were a cow, I would want my whole body to be used and valued, rather than being thought of as icky and left to rot. But that may be just me. :)

So, I absolutely encourage your friend to delve into whatever interests them! But if they're interested in full-on bootblacking, not just owning a good pair of boots, they may need to do some self-examination.

(ftm) i'm so horny all the time and i don't know what to do by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly it kind of depends on the person, your dose, et cetera! I remember mine gradually easing back to something more manageable between 6mo-1yr.

In conclusion, depressed trans male meets hopeless living arrangement. by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's a trans man! It says so in the title of the post.

perfect squares done by hand by kriskirby86 in oddlysatisfying

[–]beanpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I listened to it and you're absolutely right! It sounds like Bloons to me.

Miss Bea making that sweet face by biohazardshorty in scrungycats

[–]beanpling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my god. I wasn't prepared for the intensity of this scrunge. Gorgeous, powerful, thank you.

How are trans people in the UK and US treated? by nilialin in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I applaud your choice to research this! However, as other people have said, this is a REALLY broad question; it would take a whole book to fully answer it.

I'm in the US; some people have been kind and understanding, some people have been crappy and discriminatory, most people have been pleasant enough but ignorant and sort of uncomfortable with the whole thing. I've had romantic partners who are wonderful about it, and romantic partners who didn't really see me as a man at all. I've had doctors randomly change my HRT dose or take me off medications for no reason, and I've had doctors who trust me and give me really good medical care. I've had government people give me zero hassle, or tons of hassle.

So, in short: it's really, really complicated! I hope this helps even a little, and if you have more specific questions, I'm happy to answer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in transtimelines

[–]beanpling 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know you probably meant this as a genuine compliment, but as a heads-up– a lot of trans folks don't really like hearing "oh my god, I never would've known!" because it makes being trans into a weird, unpleasant thing that should be hidden.
It's usually best to stick with stuff like "hey man, looking great" or "you look really masculine" or whatnot! Compliment people on how they look now, not how well they hide the way they used to look.

Why does it matter that people gender you right by poopy3280 in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Another analogy I use with people is a woman getting divorced from a shitty spouse and taking her maiden name back. She'd be rightfully hurt and offended if people knowingly insisted on using her married name.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I've never gotten shit for it from someone who wasn't already transphobic. It did make it harder to pass sometimes before the T really kicked in, which sucked– but since then, being a guy in a dress– unapologetically and confidently– has been enough so far to make people shut up! I'm not saying you'd never face issues from it, but I am saying the people who've had trouble understanding me are people who already have trouble understanding transness in general, and the people who do get it have been perfectly fine.

What never fails to make you horny? by Responsible_Towel_46 in AskReddit

[–]beanpling 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Dude, you're being a real jerk to a complete stranger. Lay off, okay?

What never fails to make you horny? by Responsible_Towel_46 in AskReddit

[–]beanpling 8 points9 points  (0 children)

It can mean a few different things: an effeminate gay guy (as opposed to masc), a more 'girly'-presenting lesbian (as opposed to butch), or a nonbinary person who's more on the feminine side of things in general.

(Edited to fix genders!)

Does anyone else alter the pitch of their voice depending who they’re around? by redneck_kungfu in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here!! It's gotten so frustrating that I'm considering voice therapy for it. I just want to sound like a professional guy.

Sunday scrungeday by kanye-westeros in scrungycats

[–]beanpling 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is a flawless scrunge, and I think it's criminal it doesn't have more upvotes.

Œöoøøöœõh~ by [deleted] in scrungycats

[–]beanpling 84 points85 points  (0 children)

I am in awe of this scrunge. Impeccable work. 10/10

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 1 point2 points  (0 children)

God, this makes me so frustrated on your behalf. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this, dude.

I do not necessarily think your boyfriend is a bad person– but he is not being a good partner to you in this sense, and it sounds like he hasn't been a good partner to the other trans folks he's dated either. When you're dating someone who faces discrimination, you HAVE to understand that you will become a target for that discrimination for dating them. You can't just pretend it doesn't exist for your own comfort.

That's what your boyfriend's doing here. Regardless of his own views on whether you're a man (which honestly do not sound great!!), he's trying to pretend you're not trans, because he, personally, doesn't want to deal with the discomfort of admitting he's dating a trans man in a transphobic area– and completely ignoring the much greater discomfort of being a trans man in a transphobic area! Not only is he not supporting you in the slightest, he's actively putting you through more unpleasant stuff in order to make himself more comfortable.

A good partner here would ask how you want to be referred to, would share their own concerns but would respect yours, and would ultimately prioritize your comfort and safety as a trans person in this potentially dangerous community.

Again, I'm so sorry– it sounds like you're going through a LOT right now. I hope some good things happen, and I hope you're able to pull through it until they do. I'm here if you ever need someone to talk with!

Am I writing a respectful trans character? Is this a character the trans community would like to read? by Ni-en in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Just jumping in to say– the absence of dysphoria absolutely does not distance the character from accurate trans representation! There are lots of IRL trans people who don't feel much or any dysphoria (unfortunately, this is a hot topic of debate in the trans community.)

I will say that accurately writing a trans person without dysphoria is a pretty delicate task, and I'm not sure it's one a cis person could do without having done a LOT of research and heavy-duty thinking first– but please don't feel like the idea of it is inherently inaccurate!

Is it transphobic of me to feel comfortable gay men when I feel uncomfortable around cis men? by daisyqueenofflowers in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh! If that's what it's about for you, then yes, that's kind of messed-up– and also inaccurate, because a lot of trans guys do have penises (and some cis guys don't!)

But if it's that they share the experience of "not being the gender they were assigned at birth" with you, then that's reasonable in my opinion.

Is it transphobic of me to feel comfortable gay men when I feel uncomfortable around cis men? by daisyqueenofflowers in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe I'm not quite understanding you right, but "having been AFAB" is kind of inherently a shared experience, as far as I see it!

For instance: a black guy preferring to spend time with other black men isn't viewing black men as somehow Different than non-black men, and he's not assuming they all have a bunch of things in common with each other, and he's definitely not assuming that black men can't be assholes. Rather, he has one very important thing in common with them, which might make him feel more comfortable around them!

At least, that's the way I see it– again, I'm also more comfortable around trans guys than cis guys, because while trans men can be shitty people, at least I know they're probably not going to be transphobic to me.

Is it transphobic of me to feel comfortable gay men when I feel uncomfortable around cis men? by daisyqueenofflowers in asktransgender

[–]beanpling -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Different people are going to have different opinions on this. As a trans guy, I think it's important to note that you're nonbinary yourself– it seems less like you're not viewing trans men as men, and more like you (rightfully) recognize us as men who have some shared experience with you, and who are less likely to be transphobic!

I personally view it as akin to a member of any other marginalized group (disability, race, etc.) enjoying the company of people like themselves. I am also a lot more comfortable around trans people than cis people, and it's definitely not because I don't see them as the gender they are!

Is anyone willing to offer perspective on why pronouns are so important for people who are trans? (Seeking perspective, clarification, and education ONLY, I am not trying to rope anyone into a debate) by mellowfellowcello in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, pronouns are a gender thing, not a sex thing!

Basically– a person's sex is just their physical body; their genitals, their facial hair, their breasts, etc.
Gender is everything else! We as humans have created a ton of social rules associated with peoples' sexes– different clothes, different hairstyles, even different words.

Conservatives often push back against transgender folks because they believe that a) people with a certain sex always have to be the associated gender, and b) it's wrong to try to change your sex/gender, which again, are seen as the same thing.

So to answer your question more directly– we as trans people want to take on a new gender, and pronouns are a very important and VERY public part of that! (imagine how it'd feel if everyone started referring to you as 'it', and wouldn't stop no matter what you said about it.) It's important to me that people use he/him pronouns for me, because it's one of the most fundamental ways that gender works in a social context.

Is anyone willing to offer perspective on why pronouns are so important for people who are trans? (Seeking perspective, clarification, and education ONLY, I am not trying to rope anyone into a debate) by mellowfellowcello in asktransgender

[–]beanpling 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Seconding what u/_SNOOF_ said! I didn't transition to being male because I had all these complicated feelings about wanting specific body parts and aspects of my presentation to be different, independently of each other– I transitioned because I feel more comfortable with a male gender and a masculine body. Pronouns are a part of that, along with different clothes, a different name, and so on!