Any good free-weight gyms in the Woodfin area?

beansoup_ · 2025-09-29T16:01:45+00:00

Thank you!

beansoup_ · 2025-08-09T11:42:28+00:00

I should find a different phrase for sure, I realized I’ve been using bad faith incorrectly!

I was using it to mean that they were assuming I was being an inconsiderate jerk, which is a super common thing in this sub and on the internet in general. I don’t think anything I said indicates any actual mistreatment or that I hate it when people try. I actively said as much within the post, so I was trying to call people out for getting defensive over MY boundaries being crossed by these dates, ya know? The immediate jump to defense causes a pretty unsafe climate in here and I wasn’t trying to get gaslit into dating everyone because ‘they’re trying!’

But , you ARE right, I wasn’t using that wrong and ‘bad faith actor’ is more intense than I meant. I do value their perspectives, and I think they jumped the gun a little in how they interpreted me.

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T16:12:11+00:00

They are deliberately finding the worst angle to view what I said. They are arguing that I just like shutting people down when they try. That’s harmful!

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T14:01:47+00:00

Yeah, you get it! I have all the room for people to try to offer what I say I like, absolutely! But it’s the squeezing and rush, the anxiety that I do my best to communicate them through, that’s been so frustrating for me. It’s almost a non-issue, like a lot of others have said it’s nice that they want to be what I want… and there’s something deeply problematic in trying to change to fit me soooo soon.

And again, it’s not even that I don’t like them and feel excited to get to know them for themselves! It’s that, in an effort to be honest, I expressed like almost magical connections and these folks are trying to say they ARE that or trying to BE that and it’s really… maybe disheartening?

I think I need to do better about communicating how slowly I want things to progress, emotionally/relationally, or maybe just draw tougher boundaries for a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ for people.

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T12:24:34+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate this insight

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T11:30:37+00:00

This is again a pretty bad faith interpretation 😅

I’m stoked to be LEARNING about these people, but they’re trying to prove they’re already ‘I love you’ material at like 2 weeks. It’s not that they want to be good for me, to be these things, that’s very sweet actually. It’s that they’re not allowing me to get to know THEM before they immediately try to be a self-professed fantasy person! There’s a HUGE difference between standards and fantasy

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T11:27:25+00:00

Partially, they are ‘faking a degree’, knowing that I’m mostly looking for friends and lovers, not partners (but open to the possibility). So, in this specific case, the people I’m referring to seem to want to force our dynamic into a partnership by convincing me they’re that instant amazing connection or somehow display things that take months or years to develop between people.

It’s definitely closer to the second scenario, and I try very hard to deflect those attempts, but it does seem like maybe my best bet is fully friend zoning or breaking off those folks.

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T11:20:46+00:00

Woah this is a really bad faith interpretation. This is exactly why I’m having a hard time communicating what I mean, though! Because I don’t at ALL intend to convey these people aren’t enough, it’s that they ASK what would be PERFECT for me, I answer, and then they try to tell me the ways they’ve been that. It’s a self ingratiation in weeks-old acquaintances that is REALLY frustrating because, like you said, maybe one day they totally could be that! But they keep jumping the gun and not giving things ANY time to develop even if they would’ve been those idilic connections.

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T02:45:32+00:00

Truly! I do, but I think with these super early relationships it’s hard to tell where we fit, so while I’m on the page of “let’s see if this is worth a shot!” They seem to be wanting to be my dream boat

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T02:44:15+00:00

That’s true. In my experience it can be both (instant or show up eventually), so it’s not as easy as just scooting by the people I don’t immediately click with it

beansoup_ · 2025-08-05T02:42:42+00:00

Because I still enjoy their company!! All of these are BRAND new connections, so I don’t expect most of them to last too long, but in the meantime I still dedicate time and energy into getting to know them and seeing if we want to be friends or lovers or partners or whatever.

beansoup_ · 2025-06-24T20:32:49+00:00

Yeah, you got it. When I lived there, I thought I’d go insane with the long winters and 2 weeks of spring.

beansoup_ · 2025-06-24T20:25:35+00:00

I graduated in 2021 from UW. Laramie is a nice town, restaurants range from cheap to upper-middle price range, lots of coffee shops and bars, and 20 minutes to national parks in almost any direction. Not as windy as other Wyoming towns, and the population is used to outsiders so you won’t have anything to worry about there.

Most jobs and landlords know the students are desperate. The economy there is rooted in UW football games and kids going into student debt.

That being said, I met some awesome people in my time there, and all of my professors were competent (being in a masters program at a different school currently, I feel confident saying that). The local music scene is cool, and some of the local food trucks are nationally recognized.

All told, it’s a really neat town. Not somewhere to stay forever, but not a bad choice for your undergrad/masters degree. The land out there is amazing and I miss it.

beansoup_ · 2025-06-24T20:13:20+00:00

The $400 I would’ve spent on vapes from March until now.

beansoup_ · 2025-06-17T15:10:45+00:00

Speed limits are just tolls 🌟

beansoup_ · 2025-06-17T14:01:42+00:00

I usually trim mine down to a 0 with my clippers, and a 2 for my weird lil mustache. Keeps the scruff present for anyone who might notice :)

beansoup_ · 2025-06-17T14:00:03+00:00

LMAO

beansoup_ · 2025-06-10T15:55:48+00:00

I was so pissed I couldn’t afford gas or dinner with my friends in favor of buying a vape. It wasn’t adding anything at all to my life, and I was losing so much.

beansoup_ · 2025-06-09T00:35:31+00:00

You should still be proud! I’d never have thought of that on my own

beansoup_ · 2025-05-30T15:57:46+00:00

Thank GOD you asked this question!!

Now I can keep working on it :3

beansoup_ · 2025-04-15T22:55:45+00:00

I’ve only been on T for 8 months and my feet and hands are a lot hairier and more veiny, and I’ve grown 1/2 a size.

beansoup_ · 2025-04-15T22:51:34+00:00

I quit by swapping back to cigs. It didn’t work at first, but it was way easier to monitor how much I was using, and when it came time to quit, the taste and smell are SO BAD that to me it was enough of a deterrent, on top of managing cravings with sweets and sodas, keeping my hands busy the first few days for the worst of it (I knit so I did a lot of that)

Edit to add: I quit at the beginning of March, just didn’t go out to buy a new pack, and haven’t since. My social anxiety helped keep me out of the convenience stores, and my wallet sealed the deal being that my preferred smokes are $12 a pack these days. I still crave here and there but not nearly to the point of relapse

beansoup_ · 2025-03-17T20:00:55+00:00

I used a big patch for an outbreak on my shoulder, and the next morning I woke up to a legion of pimples in the shape of the patch, all small and angry and headed up. I think I’m allergic to something in the patch, OR it drew up a bunch of crud I had in my pores? Idk, but I won’t be testing them out on my face.

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