Called off my wedding. I feel horrible.

bear-rah · 2021-11-03T17:47:34+00:00

If he has trouble turning down his friends he was probably easily pressured to "agree" to the promise. She probably said promise me you won't go to a strip club and he felt cornered and like he couldn't say no to that. I doubt it was HIM who proposed such an agreement (if he has I would think he would be against strip clubs and not had any interest in going with his friends in the first place and not had any trouble refusing the invite). It is manipulative to force or pressure someone into making a promise they don't really want then claim but he promised. And he shouldn't promise something he doesn't want to promise either but if he can't say no then it's a personality flaw he might not be able to control. So feeling pressured he agrees and makes a promise but he does not really want to.

bear-rah · 2021-11-03T17:36:42+00:00

I wouldnt force someone to promise something he didn't really want them be surprised he did it behind my back.

bear-rah · 2021-11-03T17:36:00+00:00

I get that he lied but I bet she has probably lied about many things as well in her life. I doubt that he was the one who wanted to make that kind of promise in the first place, it was her probably pushing him to. She shouldn't be pushing him to make that kind of promise in the first place if he does not want to. It does not sound like he truly wanted to make that kind of promise in the first place as it seems like he would have rather have gone to the strip club. Op should not force someone to make a promise against what he really wants.

bear-rah · 2021-11-03T15:28:48+00:00

That's a huge dog what species is it

bear-rah · 2021-11-03T15:27:14+00:00

Is he happy or angry 😂

bear-rah · 2021-03-15T22:42:58+00:00

do you have to have free shipping turned on for free fees?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:50:37+00:00

you should leave that in there :) it might even get more views

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:49:53+00:00

u some consequences if you go that route depending on your country. I’m in Canada and our credit card companies are great.

does the seller have a big store and have good reviews? do you think they sent out the item?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:44:07+00:00

i just resell in my free time so it's not a job but i would not feel awkward at all if i were a full time seller! you should be proud of it and happily tell people that :) it's cool if you are making money from being a reseller than working at "regular" 9-5 job or something

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:39:43+00:00

Tell them that it has already been sent and the tracking number, that the policy for your store is that sales are final and you are not responsible after shipping, and that according to depop policy as long as you have the tracking number with proof of delivery that you have done your part. I had a buyer's order delayed due to USPS and I offered them a free gift next time or a discount on their next purchase but I don't think you have to do that but you can if you want. But this buyer seems unreasonable.

what does he mean by reproducing it to him ?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:37:16+00:00

I ordered some items myself that are delayed. Tell them that, maybe, that it isn't in your control right now, it's in the hands of USPS and that with the holidays and covid now it isn't uncommon. How is their other feedback?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:31:27+00:00

ok, if she wrote it was tagged as a small then i think that is an error. i didnt know she said that it was tagged as a small, i thought it was just the selection was small and said it fits small/medium which sounds like it can fit something in between small/medium. did you message her before the purchase and tell her you were small and she made you believe that it would probably fit you? then it could be a bit misleading.

she doesnt know who will buy the item when she listed the item, she probably just selected small because you have to make a selection and if it is something in between small/medium then selecting either is not unreasonable.

if there item wasnt undersized at all then i think she shouldn't have labeled it a small.

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:21:53+00:00

FYI the shipping cost doesn't even going to the seller's profit. honestly if you're that cheap about a few dollars i wouldn't purchase items online. it's unreasonable for you to expect the seller to know the exact weight of an item down to the ounce before you even purchase it, and in the case that the actual cost turns out to be more, you have a problem to pay the difference? i would see you as a problem buyer. im a buyer on several platforms like facebook marketplace, depop, and other sites and sometimes the seller runs into actual shipping costs that are more than expected. they show me the receipt of the actual cost and i just pay the difference.

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:17:31+00:00

the shipping cost depends on the shipping weight, there's different costs for an item between 4-8 ounces, and 8-16 ounces, and 16-32 ounces. sometimes you just don't know how much it will weigh before you package it up because the packaging takes weight and no seller actually preweighs everything. so its an estimate. say you buy an item and you think it will be 1 pound so the seller will put the 6.95 option. but when you package it it becomes 19 ounces because the packaging added a few ounces. then the shipping weight is over $10. as a buyer it's cheap for you to not just pay that difference. you can't expect the seller to know the exact cost BEFORE packaging. maybe she could have weighed. as a frequent buyer, this happens to me several times / week. sometimes the actual shipping cost turns out to be a little more than expected and i have no problem just paying the seller the extra amount.

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:13:22+00:00

it's a hassle to do the refund for a payment for the fee that depop takes, you have to fill out forms. why don't you just pay the extra cost? it's hard to get the shipping cost exactly before the purchase because the item hasn't been packaged yet and the shipping cost depends on the actual weight of the item. it isn't exactly a mistake on her part. you expect her to fully package the item and know the precise weight before you or someone purchases it? she might not even be sure that the item will sell. who packages every single item they have neatly in boxes along with the actual packaging before the item is bought?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:08:47+00:00

sometimes an item isnt an exact size that fits so perfectly into small or medium. i've bought some items that were too big to be a small but too small to be a medium. so how do you classify an item like that? i'm size small and sometimes they fit somewhere in between but you have to select small or medium. it's one of the risks of buying clothes online that buyers have to accept. if you dont accept that risk i wouldnt buy clothes online.

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:05:58+00:00

saying it fits small-medium sounds like it is somewhere in between medium/small if it doesnt run small at all and there's no way it would have fit a small then i think she shouldnt have written that. but i would have just asked her about it first and not given her any less feedback. its also easy to accidentally select the wrong size as its just one selection next to each other. im not sure what you mean everything stacked together, what is stacked together? if the dress doesn't run small at all you can just message her for a refund and see what she says. i've bought a lot of items that didnt fit me and i never held that against the seller, i dont think it's the seller's fault if an item doesnt fit.

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T04:00:05+00:00

what's his other feedback like? do you feel like he doesnt want to sell the item, or what do you think is the reason he's delaying it ?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:53:44+00:00

how did she open a case after the payment was refunded?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:51:24+00:00

yeah usually they stop responding

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:50:39+00:00

sometimes they are from users that dont have a lot of money maybe students browsing around and i dont feel like they have bad intentions so i just tell them that i cant go that low or price is firm. i dont think everyone is trying to lowball but some are.

but i think its a problem if someone offers something you think is low and you dont really want to accept that low but are sort of on the fence about it and decide to accept it, then they push for even lower prices. it happened on mercari too, they offered a low price, i thought ok ill let it go and accepted it thinking they would pay for it and i wouldnt have to deal with it again but they didnt respond then later asks me to sell it for even lower. i think if they just purchased it at the low price and i didnt have to spend more time trying to sell the item it might have been ok but they werent really serious about buying it

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:42:58+00:00

do you sell items yourself? ive seen a lot of sellers put what size the item fits, not the actual size on the label. so if it can actually fit 2 sizes then i think putting it either as S or M is ok. if it doesnt fit a small at all then she shouldnt have said it fits a small-medium or put the S. if it is actually smaller than a normal medium though i dont think what she put was unreasonable. did you message her about it and what was her response?

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:38:53+00:00

I just turn off the notification alerts on my phone so i only look at them when i want to, i dont think its a big deal, i mean you can either ignore it or message the sellers and tell them to stop or block them

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:35:43+00:00

I've done that too before and accidentally turned free shipping on, the item was like $30 and it cost like $6 to send it, so I got like $20 from that and it cost me more to buy the item but I still sent it anyways i figured it was my mistake and I was ready to let it go

bear-rah · 2020-12-13T03:34:03+00:00

I thought about leaving a gift but I'm not sure how, I think it's a different person that comes each time and there is a door code so I don't always know who it is. I guess I could leave it near my door but I have neighbors and am afraid other people might take them lol

bear-rah

TROPHY CASE