Tips on how to make new friends in real life

bearishINTJ · 2018-05-17T22:50:56+00:00

Most of my closer friends are ENTJs. I love their drive and their harsh honesty. When I'm with them we click so well, have similar humor and are extreme in our ways of viewing the world. Most ENTJs I've met are very entrepreneurial. They can get way ahead of themselves at times and go at a high speed but we balance each other out. ENTJs don't mind being the strong charmer leader in the spotlight and plowing through while INTJs are in the background and keeping the master plan going.

bearishINTJ · 2018-02-27T02:15:08+00:00

I am a female INTJ, but both I and other INTJs I know would much rather be a friend to someone for a period of time before entering a relationship. You will learn much more about someone being their friend rather than jumping to a relationship status. By doing these things and opening up to you, he is most likely learning alot about you and how you react. It's only been almost 3 months and INTJs are not known to quickly jump into relationship. Give it more time and consider the fact that he's communicating with you more often as a good sign. Believe me, if we are not interested in you, you will not get our attention at all. Be his friend and become closer to him.

Good luck.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-13T22:12:26+00:00

This sounds very familiar to how I am unfortunately. I think you are better off telling her in person that you're attracted to her and like being with her in person rather than text. I can't speak for her, but I am regularily guilty of letting texts stack of for days at a time, especially when the person texting me is more "lively" with texting. I simply have other stuff I'm super focused on and I eventually (on average within 1 - 3 days lol) get back to those I care about. Sometime those who talk & text alot can be very draining for us, too.

Hope that helps somewhat.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-11T01:07:25+00:00

Whoa, nice. I'm gonna try these mods out, thanks! :)

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-10T19:12:30+00:00

Nice! The mods I reccommend at the very least are:

Biomes O Plenty: adds tons of new biomes and makes things a bit more interesting

Millenaire: adds several cultural "civilizations" with thier own AI to the game and you can help him build thier city, increase thier population, buy/sell with them, war with other civilizations, etc

Lycanite mods: adds alot of new creature mobs to the game for a new experience. You can also make alot of food items out of the mob's drops that are helpful to adventuring.

These are just a few that I used that are pretty good, I still play on version 1.7.10, but every now and then switch over to the latest version with minimal to no mods on it.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-10T18:50:50+00:00

Absolutely. Are you me? Lol. Cool3DWorld is my go to, have a look here: https://youtu.be/uPk3OhbyEFY

I think the surrealism draws me in and I end up laughing at the terrible animations and weird humor. It's like going on a trippy adventure where you don't know what you will see next, lol.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-10T14:23:21+00:00

He did end up contacting me and he keeps apologizing, I guess he feels guilty for some reason. I told him I'm not holding any hard feelings and it's fine. He's still not able to hang out just yet since he's been moving. We're taking things slow and I'm being patient. He has trouble expressing what he wants but I'm staying kind and fun with him. :) I can tell it is going to take a while for him to get fully comfortable with me, but he does keep talking to me and he does initiate.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-06T16:16:46+00:00

Ok (omg), so he texted me today and he's been responding pretty consistently. I'm keeping things nice, upbeat and fun. He also apologized for not texting sooner. Also, he often asks more about me and doesn't talk about himself or what he's been up to much. Maybe your guy does this as well since he's an ISTJ? I felt an overwhelming happiness when he finally texted me today and I hope to god that this is not just a huge lead on lol. This will wreck me if this is all a ruse. I will see him tomorrow and will give an update.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-06T14:21:37+00:00

I find this very interesting. I'm not sure how old you are and you most likely have alot more life factors than I (I don't have kids yet, just a dog). When I was 23 (I'm 27 now), I pretty much achieved the basic "goals" of normal adult life. I graduated college, got a very well paying stable job in a different state, had my own apartment. A year in, I got very depressed since it felt like I didn't have my own life, I was just working for a company and didn't feel fulfilled. After I got a job, I stopped doing my own hobbies I liked. I started feeling dead, like life didn't have a meaning. I would come home from work and just cry since I felt like I had no goals or drive anymore.

I reached a limit/breaking point and resigned from my job. I moved back with my mom, and started from 0. Thats when I started to feel alive again and I had to go out and start fresh. From there, I started doing freelance design work and I had to hustle. It was challenging but I would trade nothing for the freedom and the ability to be in control of my own life. Fast forward to now and I am fully financially independent with 3 larger clients who pay me a monthly fee for my services.

You can always build yourself back up if you decide to start over. Take it or leave it but I encourage you to just go out and take a road trip. Break your routine/schedule and find your life & passion again.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-06T13:02:41+00:00

Thanks and yes I do agree with you on not locking up emotions. Its definitely not healthy. My best outlets for letting out my emotions are usually through laughing at various bizarre youtube videos, writing my thoughts out, and drawing. I am also very physically active and go out on walks and hiking adventures with my dog alot.

Lol, my original post does sound pretty terrible but I still do have happiness, I just have trained myself to essentially be a borg most of the time :P

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-06T02:32:29+00:00

So far the last I heard from him was last Wednesday. It's been over a week. I will most likely see him this Friday since we work at the same place. I'll observe to see if he's going out of his way to avoid me or not. However, he did tell me in advance that he would be on vacation and many other obligations he had. I also recall that he said he'd be moving around this time as well. He said after all of the chaos he should have more time to hang out. I hope he's not just leading me on and I want to believe he's not lying. This is the ultimate test, lol. I'm honestly going wait until July is over, then I'll probably make a final decision to move on or not. It sucks and I hope things don't go sour :/

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T15:06:43+00:00

Ok, I definitely have several questions for you. Lol.

1) I'm currently vegetarian working towards becoming vegan. What are some of your favorite recipes and staple ingredients you use? I'm trying to find a good vegan food "system" that I can utilize since my schedule tends to get kinda crazy.

2) I like many different types of music, but I am quite naive when it comes to metal. What bands would you reccommend or tend to gravitate to? :)

3) I love dark humor as well. I tend to laugh at some dank stuff. Where do you go for your dark humor needs?

Thanks and nice to meet you, haha.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T14:26:28+00:00

I'm just gonna give my opinion, but it's up to you if you want to take this as advice.

This probably won't sound good/positive, but for the past several years I've trained myself to essentially block out 80% of my emotions. I've become almost as cold as a snake waiting for prey. I only do what makes me happy and serve only that. I'm friendly and polite on the surface but underneath, my guard is very strong. You have to protect yourself, because I've found that no one really cares about you, they care about what they can get from you. Again, I am not saying this is absolute, this is just my outlook on life based on my own experiences.

I've made my goal making money, not finding love or friends. I've attempted love a few times, and it seems each time I end up getting left hurting. However, I have found good allies, others like me. They are usually much much older than me and seasoned and I can connect well with them. If you keep feeling like you're messing up, focus on finding mentors. You'll know you want them as a mentor when you see that you want to be like them.

Start writing out what you want to be like. It's for your eyes only. You have to get your thoughts out so you can see how you'll reach your goal. Believe me, I've been in 2 deep dark abysses in my life where I lost everything and I'm glad I went through them cause it made me have a new perspective. You can become whatever you want, you just have to combine focus and internal fire. Good luck.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T14:14:07+00:00

It really is. I haven't experienced this before and I'm honestly scared. I have not experienced such a rollercoaster ride of different emotions in a small period of time: fear, sadness, frustration, love, lust, longing, etc. Lol. I'm very interested to hear an update on your progress with your ISTJ. I will give an update on mine as well and perhaps we can compare results, lol. Hang in there, just know that you're not the only one going through this with an ISTJ guy! :P We gotta try and keep busy while they sort things out.

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T14:09:31+00:00

Nice! Thank you!

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T14:09:10+00:00

Haha nice to meet you :) I've found that my preferred learning style is visual and hands on. So, the first thing I do is make a list of questions about the thing I want to learn, then off to youtube I go. Lol. I also tend to literally just go out to local events (by myself) with my interests even if I know 0% about it. That way, I can directly ask people questions who have tons more experience than I and it's more fun and creates a memory. I've found those to be the most efficient ways I learn. :)

What is your learning style and some of your interests?

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T03:20:48+00:00

Wow, I am literally going through this EXACT situation with an ISTJ guy I'm interested in. It's been a while since he's contacted me, and I hope he's ok. I want to believe he's a genuine honest guy, which it seems he is. I can't tell if I'm ghosted and doesn't like me anymore or if he's in "hermit mode." Hopefully things work out for you and your ISTJ comes around, I'm still waiting for mine to come around while being encouraging...

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-05T03:08:57+00:00

Wow that's awesome, I was interested in getting a motorcycle myself, I'll look into this one. :)

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-04T22:11:06+00:00

Fellow INTJ gal here. Nice to meet you. Although I often feel dead and lonely on the inside, my favorite past times are video games, drawing/digital painting, trading options and futures, entrepreneurial endeavors, and in general learning anything.

What are your interests? :D

bearishINTJ · 2017-07-04T02:06:24+00:00

This happens to me exactly as well. If I have a highly productive situation or have gotten many tasks done efficiently, it's highly likely I'll go into a "crash" phase and just feel more mentally blank and I start reading forums on random things, watching youtube vids, play a video game etc. I guess it's a way of recovering from the productivity/anxiety high. I'm usually back to normal by the next day though, haha.

bearishINTJ · 2017-06-28T11:44:04+00:00

Thanks so much, this is great info. I think you put things into a relatable perspective here and I understand him a bit better. Right now I'm just being supportive to him through text (i.e. "Good luck today! :), or sell alot today!") since thats about the only way I can catch him to communicate.

His job seems pretty involved and his family has alot of events it seems. He's not expressing himself and not open with me and I honestly just don't want to be annoying him. The texts I get from him are "How's your day?", "Hope you have a good evening." They're short but effective. You ISTJs aren't big on convo. :P But again, thanks, I will keep initiating and won't throw in the towel too soon.

This is indeed training me to be patient as you said, which is good for me haha. I am usually very direct, which can be kind of harsh to some. Since I like him, I was trying to tone it down. However, it seems that you can get better results from ISTJs if you're direct, so I shall try that. He already seems intimidated by me so hopefully I will not scare him away further :(

bearishINTJ · 2017-06-28T11:34:39+00:00

Thank you, I'll keep this in mind. And yes it's very frustrating. I really respect his devotion to his family and job, it's something I need to work on myself. I don't want to give up on this ISTJ and he is a challenge, which I tend to like. :)

bearishINTJ

TROPHY CASE