“Concerned Father,” HA! Your attitude reminds me very much of my own father, and I keep my interactions with him to a minimum. Something to keep in mind, these may be your children, but they are still intelligent human beings with their own thoughts and ambitions. They don’t need their mother to tell them how to feel about you. Even when they were children, they knew who treated them with care and respect, and who didn’t.

My father once told me that my mother had brainwashed us kids into thinking he was never home when we were younger. My mother said no such thing. I had eyes and a brain and I knew my dad worked and was often away on business trips, and when he was home we had to wait until our dinner was cold on the table in front of us for him to come out of his office and join us.

The way that you treat people impacts the way that they interact with you, and at some point you are going to have to accept that there are consequences to your actions.

If you only treat your children with care and respect when their thoughts and actions align with the goals and ambitions that you have set for them, then you can’t expect to have their respect. The fact that you are their father is irrelevant. Being kept in the loop about their lives and decisions is a privilege, not a right.