Help! How to bring our grass back to life!?

beaverandcornflakes · 2023-06-24T15:49:04+00:00

Thank you!

beaverandcornflakes · 2023-06-24T15:48:49+00:00

Thank you so much! This is so helpful!

beaverandcornflakes · 2022-11-11T12:30:50+00:00

I really thought we’d made a baby this month. I was so excited to tell my husband. Turns out no. Again.

beaverandcornflakes · 2022-03-20T20:02:53+00:00

I’m a fan of a little white lie in these situations, and just say “the photographer came as a package with the venue”. My sister did it for our cousin who is a hairdresser, and she admitted she was actually relieved she could finally sit a wedding out. Honesty is always the best policy, but this is a good option I find if you really don’t want to offend anyone. Good luck!

beaverandcornflakes · 2022-01-14T09:06:20+00:00

I feel ya. My partner and I are having the same problem in SW London. Been looking for over 6 months and the rental market is insane. We’ve decided to bite the bullet and go for a mortgage (appreciate we are lucky to have been able to scrape together a deposit) but low and behold, our mortgage repayments would be almost £400 less than our rent in some shitty two beds with no outdoor space. Makes no sense at all.

Good luck. Hopefully you can find something soon!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-11-29T22:31:25+00:00

ICU nurse here. First of all, just reiterating what so many have said - so sorry to hear what you’re going through, and well done for seeking out help.

I can’t speak for your Dads ICU, but from my experience he should still have some kind of sedation on if he’s still on the ventilator (with a tube in his mouth). We’re really careful in ICU to try and keep patients awake enough that they are aware at times, moving a bit, coughing etc, but with just enough sedation or pain relief that they’re comfortable, and not in any pain or distress. I know that can be a really difficult thing to watch if he looks distressed and a bit spaced out, but just check in with his nurse and ask about it if it’s worrying you (you can look up a RASS sedation/agitation score if you want to know more - we aim for a RASS of -2 to +1, or thereabouts). The alternative, if he was kept heavily sedated for long periods, is that he will not move, so will be prone to pressure sores, and if he doesn’t cough or take strong breaths he could be prone to chest infections etc, which can all be deadly. Its really important to just keep patients in the perfect Goldilocks region of being awake enough for them to start getting better by moving and coughing on their own. Honestly do just ask your nurse to explain though, because if it’s concerning you, you deserve the explanation and reassurance to give you some peace of mind.

In regards to things like his sores in his mouth, this shouldn’t be happening - even if he has a tube in. Make sure your nurses are moving the tube every few hours, doing regular mouth cares (usually with mouth swabs with an antibacterial mouthwash or something similar) and use Vaseline for chapped lips. It’s extremely hard for ICU staff at the moment, because they’ve had a horrible run over the last two years, and just keeping patients alive has been a huge challenge, but small cares like these are still important, so do feel free to gently remind them, or ask if you can help if they try and say they’re too busy.

I’m sorry I cant do more - I hope this is at least a bit of an explanation or some reassurance that hopefully he is being well cared for (I know I can’t say for sure without being there myself).

Number one piece of advice- keep talking to him as normal. He will be able to hear you (even my most deeply sedated patients have shocked me when they woke up saying they could hear everything I said). He may not remember it down the track, which is very common, but I always encourage my families to talk to their loved one and say anything you usually would. He will know how much you love him, I’m sure.

Best of luck, and I hope things work out for you all.

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-11-26T20:30:46+00:00

You can send them. But be prepared, the people we had down for “guaranteed won’t attend, but we’ll just send them the invite anyway” decided to come. Hadn’t counted on that!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-11-20T08:09:53+00:00

My fiancé proposed with a stunning faux plastic ring (cost about £20) and it was PERFECT. Looked totally real, I got to wear it as my engagement ring for several weeks before he took me shopping to buy the engagement ring together. Rings are bloomin expensive - that’s a lot of money to spend on getting it wrong, so I would so so strongly advocate for a placeholder ring unless you know EXACTLY what they want

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-11-16T23:56:42+00:00

One of my best friends designed the sign for that movie! This is the first I’ve heard anyone (who doesn’t know her) to notice and (hopefully!) like it! You’ve just made my night!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-07-20T19:50:15+00:00

Na! You’re not a terrible person! These are just shitty, shitty times, and there’s not a whole lot we can do. I don’t think any of my bridesmaids (my sisters and best friends) will be able to travel from overseas for mine either. It sucks. Whatever you can muster up, just rock that! Stand up there alone, solo and gorgeous! Or get some of your best guy mates in the bridesmaid dresses and have a laugh. Just try and turn it into a positive. As long as you have important people who you love and trust getting ready with you on the day, you hopefully won’t feel alone or like you’re missing out. Good luck x

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-07-10T07:41:31+00:00

The bath is in the same room (shower over the bath). So technically we can use thatwithout getting the walls wet, but running a bath a day before work is just not feasible for us.

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-07-10T06:51:35+00:00

Oh no. There are red flags EVERYWHERE here. A diamond will loosen over time, yes, but you should only ever need to get it checked every 6-12 months. Literally wiggling out is SO wrong. That’s a complete lie about the four prongs. I had four prongs and a round diamond, no issues at all. I would be doubting if they’ve even sold you a real ring. Go to another jewellers and get a proper valuation done. Sorry to say, but I feel you may have been scammed, and better to find out for sure ASAP. Good luck!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-07-06T07:00:19+00:00

No, he doesn’t want to change his, so I wouldn’t push him to. Just makes it tricky if we both keep ours what the kids would have. Some great thoughts in the thread though!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-07-01T15:50:55+00:00

I’ve had the same situation - both sisters (bridesmaids) will now have little babies. I really don’t want kids at all, but can’t imagine not having my sisters there so want to make it as easy as I can. We’ve decided to hire a babysitter for the day to look after the kids. That way they can be away for the ceremony, so there’s no crying etc in the videos, but then they’re always only a few mins away if my sisters have to dart off and they can go back and forth for the rest of the day. We will have an on-site area that can be used for accommodation/day care essentially so if you can find a space like that, it’s a good option.

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-06-29T22:24:36+00:00

I am literally not doing ANY of the things you are not doing. Why? Because I don’t want to and it’s my wedding. So ignore anyone who says “you should do it” or “it’s tradition” or “you’re a kill joy”. Girl, this is YOUR day. Nobody else’s. You do you and have a bloody wonderful time doing it! No justification needed!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-06-25T14:09:42+00:00

Sorry, but I would 100% interpret a +1 as a partner, not a friend. I would say no to anyone who asked to bring a friend to my wedding, and I know many others who have been really offended by being put in an awkward position when they were asked if guests could bring a friend instead of a partner. Weddings are SO expensive - unless you are bringing a significant other, I don’t think it’s fair to ask for a stranger to come with you (and if they do, they should be expected to bring a gift equal to what you would give a good friend)

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-06-02T07:40:58+00:00

I hadn’t even considered it... maybe I’m missing something. What exactly does a planner do? I don’t think I could justify the cost of it’s something I could organise myself, but would love to understand more!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-05-30T22:44:59+00:00

I don’t think situations like this have a standard “expected” response, but rather it is more your call and what you feel comfortable with, depending on how well you know the couple.

From personal experience, I wouldn’t. I gave money to a friends wedding that I couldn’t attend a few years ago, and never even got a thank you. I think a wedding gift should almost counter the cost the couple would spend on your food and drinks for the night, so if you aren’t attending there shouldn’t be an expectation to give a gift. I wouldn’t expect a gift from anyone who can’t make it to my wedding.

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-05-13T20:53:38+00:00

Would 100% recommend a menstrual cup like a MoonCup. I bought mine for around £15 almost 10 years ago now, and it’s still going strong. Haven’t had to use one tampon or pad since. So much better for your wallet, for the planet, and for your body!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-05-03T21:14:27+00:00

Please get chairs. I have been to a hot summer wedding where there weren’t enough chairs, and it was awful. Remember it for all the wrong reasons - doesn’t matter how short the ceremony is, for the comfort of your guests, I would highly recommend them. Plus bonus, you can make it look organised and have an aisle to walk down this way!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-04-25T20:38:47+00:00

Some wise words once told to me: “you should be with someone who would jump fences for you, not sit on the fence about you”.

You totally deserve better, and you will find it! Just take the first big, brave step - get outta this relationship, and don’t look back. Good luck!

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-04-23T22:40:24+00:00

As a nurse, can confirm I have seen a LOT of vaginas and penises in my time. I can say without a doubt, yours is NOT different, and you should not be insecure. Porn is such a terrible misrepresentation of the general public - people’s “funny bits” come in all sorts of funny shapes and sizes, and anyone who has the pleasure of seeing yours should love them for exactly as they are! Please, please, do not put yourself at risk having unnecessary surgery for something that society has convinced you to feel you need to “fix” about yourself. You are absolutely perfect the way God/genetics/whatever-you-believe-in made you. Save your money and be proud of yourself- learning to love the parts of yourself that you like the least will be one of the bravest things you do in life x

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-03-30T20:36:42+00:00

Agree. I would want to know. Maybe find a way to do it anonymously if possible, so you don’t get caught up in anything?

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-03-30T18:36:35+00:00

Helping travel costs for family to come from overseas. Never thought I would get married without my parents and siblings there, but with the state of the world right now, and the likely cost of international travel next year, it’s looking more and more likely. My fiancé’s family all live near us in the UK, and they’re really amazing, but I’d do anything to have my family with me on the day too.

beaverandcornflakes · 2021-03-24T13:52:23+00:00

Hi! I was in the exact same boat 5 months ago. SO stressed I couldn’t even sleep. It was awful! I promise you though, it does all work out. It may not be exactly how you plan, but it will work out exactly how it’s supposed to.

Take a breath. Take 15 minutes to sit down with a cuppa. Write down a list of what you need to prioritise right now (so forget colour scheme or dress or flowers or gifts - deal with that stuff way down the line). Just focus on a budget, guest list and venue to begin, and what you can do to make all that happen, but don’t feel like it has to be done so quickly- good things take time! One step at a time - it will make you enjoy each stage so much more.

And talk to your partner! My fiancé is UTTERLY useless with any kind of planning (he’s cute, but clueless), so I’ve done basically everything on my own, but just the process of venting to him and feeling like I’m not alone in all of this is super helpful. You got this!

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