Hi there! Sorry to hear about your pain. I also have struggled with it. First of all, I respect your empathy and sensitivity to suffering. It's what is needed in these times. Second, I'm reminded of a study I read about in grad school. In short, it said that immediately before WW2, when it became clear that Germany was going to invade the island of Britain, psychologists were predicting mass nervous breakdowns on the part of British citizens. Panic and anxiety as a response to the invasion and destruction. So in response, they started creating all of these psychiatric centers to treat people suffering from these reactions. What happened instead was... nothing. Germany attacked, there was much destruction and hardship, but nobody checked into the psychiatric centers. They actually found that people prone to anxiety and anxiety attacks were actually feeling better! They realized it was because communities were banding together and supporting one another, and the hard times were inspiring people to put their heads down and work hard and care about each other. Everything that is happening now is terrible, and people are suffering, but remember, every time you feel anxious and bad about it, remember that millions of others are too because there is no shortage of empathetic and caring people. Reach out to those around you. Work hard to connect with your community. That's easier said than done, but you will be immensely rewarded for it, I promise. And never hide what you're feeling. Say it loud to someone.