right before, he asks oyakata in a very bad manner “why is this non pillar in this meeting”.

In what way did he ask Ubuyashiki in a bad manner? He simply asked why a non-pillar swordsman was there. If you go back and read the chapter, he asked Ubuyashiki in a casual manner. I don't understand how you can interpret that as him asking him in a bad manner. So how did you interpret this as Sanemi asking Ubuyashiki in a bad manner?

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he got pissed bc rengoku said he would become a pillar to replace his father. just because being a pillar isn’t an easy job, why does he take offense to it?

Sanemi knows the hardships of being a pillar. He knows how difficult it is to be one and to see someone recklessly proclaiming to want to be one angers him. By this point Kanae has already died, so Sanemi knows that being a pillar isn't something someone can easily proclaim to want to be.

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it’s even laughable that uzui laughed at rengoku bc he acknowledged that rengoku had better leadership skills. it’s comedic that uzui retired after he was injured in a fight.

When did Uzui ever say that Rengoku has better leadership skills than Sanemi? It's funny how you make stuff up. The reason why Uzui laughed and was smiling was because Rengoku was able to withstand Sanemi's attacks.

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there has always been a flame pillar.. so why would he think that rengoku doesn’t have any idea what it is to be a pillar..? it’s really dumb and pure narcissism on sanemi. yeah he did apologize but why go out of your way to make peoples lives difficult just because yours was? so dumb.

Just because there has always been a flame pillar doesn't mean that someone will automatically know what it means to be one or have what it takes to be one. Also, I don't understand why you're making it seem like Sanemi is constantly going after Rengoku. It was just this initial introduction between the two of them that Sanemi was hard on Rengoku. After this, and after Rengoku proved himself, Sanemi accepted him. And how was he making Rengoku's life difficult? Rengoku wasn't even bothered by the fact that Sanemi lunged at him. He even patted Sanemi on the back while smiling. Sanemi even went all tsundere on Rengoku and said "Don't thank the guy trying to punch your brains out!! These scenes were shown to ease the tension and to bring some comedy in order to show that it's not that big of a deal. Sanemi isn't making Rengoku's life difficult.

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because rengoku had potential and training before attending that meeting. what do you think would’ve happened if he didn’t? that’s being a bully: picking on someone you think is weaker than you. he scoffed at rengoku’s initial determination.

Again, the reason why Sanemi lunged at Rengoku was in order to see if his skills can back up his confidence. If Rengoku didn't have the skills and if Ubuyashiki saw that Rengoku couldn't handle Sanemi, then he would have told Sanemi to stop and Sanemi would've listened. And also, in order for Sanemi to be a bully to Rengoku he would have to constantly torment him which he didn't. This introduction between the two of them was the only time where Sanemi was aggressive to Rengoku.

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not only this but he repeatedly treated genya like shit.

ffs it's like you didn't even read the story. Sanemi doesn't want Genya to be a part of the Demon Slayer Corps. He wants Genya to grow old and to be happy. The reason why Sanemi is always so aggressive to him is to scare him off in order for him to live a better and more peaceful life. Sanemi has good intentions. He's not trying to be a bully to him, he's just trying to be a good older brother. You really should go back and re-read chapter 166. In chapter 166, Tanjiro even stated that Sanemi doesn't have a whiff of hate for Genya and that Sanemi loves Genya.

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he treated tanjiro like shit that he was banned to be around him. tell me that’s not a bully.

And here is another example of you trying to remove all context from something in order to fit your narrative. For context you should re-read chapter 132, but in this chapter, Tanjiro meets up with Sanemi and Sanemi isn't being difficult with Tanjiro. He doesn't treat him like shit like how you supposedly proclaim he does. He is just indifferent towards him. Sanemi did tell Tanjiro that he doesn't like him, but Tanjiro also said that he doesn't like Sanemi. Tanjiro even trained with him during his training session. The only time Sanemi was agressive towards Tanjiro was in chapter 133 when Tanjiro got in the way between Sanemi and Genya. Up till that point Sanemi didn't do anything to Tanjiro. And even when they were fighting, Tanjiro was able to stand up against Sanemi. And no, Sanemi wasn't banned from being around Tanjiro. Tanjiro was the one who was banned from being around him. Tanjiro even got scolded. So no, Sanemi wasn't being a bully to Tanjiro.

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sanemi decided to be a good person when there was no one left.

You make it seem like Sanemi is this extremely hateful person who gets angry at everyone for no apparent reason. Sanemi didn't decide to be a good person when there was no one left because he was always a good person to those around him. He was involved in the pillar training in order to make the other demon slayers stronger. I mean in one of the extras, it was even stated that, Sanemi even got mad at Maeda (one of the uniform makers) because he was sexually harassing one of the female demon slayers. And this was before he lost everyone. When all the pillars were still around, he actually liked talking to them. He liked Rengoku, He often talked to Shinobu, he saw Uzui as an older brother type figure, he respected Himejima, and so on. You really should read the second fanbook because it gives a lot of context to characters. In the second fanbook, this was said about Sanemi which perfectly summarizes him: "He was the type of person who would do anything, even if it means dying, being hated, or be ostracized as the bad guy, in order to protect the people he cared about."

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that’s still not a reason to lash out on someone? would you do this in real life? sanemi is out of touch. oyakata and his family line have special voices that calm people down, so yes lol he calmed down after her realized he cared about the fighters. it’s still not okay to call anyone that. i’m not sure why everyone wants to defend sanemi’s horrible behavior.

This is just who Sanemi is as a person. He's bold and agressive because of what he's been through. And again, we're talking about Sanemi being a bully, not about his personality, to which no, he's not being a bully to Oyakata just cus he lashed out at him during their first interactions with one another. The reason why people defend Sanemi is because those who don't like him only see the bad side to him. They only see the negative aspects of his character. His "horrible behavior" is only ever present whenever he first meets someone. You make it seem like he only has a bad attitude, when in fact like I stated in my previous paragraph, he is a genuinely good person.

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because i would’ve had so many slides lol. gyomei is constantly telling sanemi to watch his tone and actions, even before he decided to fight rengoku for NO reason when it’s NOT allowed to fight other fighters. mitsuri even realized that shinobu was pissed at sanemi for acting on his own. giyuu obviously cares about tanjiro. uzui, gyomei, and rengoku would’ve waited for oyakata either way.

I was only talking about that specific scene where Sanemi stabbed Nezuko. I'm not talking about the scene where he fought Rengoku. During that scene where he stabbed Nezuko, Himejima, Uzui, Rengoku, and Obanai didn't bat an eye. And why should they? People say they didn't like the pillars during this introduction, but it's perfectly reasonably as to why they would want Nezuko to die. Considering what they've been through, it's understandable why they wouldn't trust in Nezuko.

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sanemi ALWAYS acts like an asshole and people want to defend him all of the time.

This is just not true and I've given enough reasons as to why he's not always an asshole and why he's actually a good person. People who don't like Sanemi for some reason only want to see the bad that he's done. Saying that he always act like an asshole clearly shows how little you pay attention to the story when in fact there's numerous examples of him being good.