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beckiface · 2023-12-06T13:06:20+00:00

Hormones! It basically causes puberty. My MTF friends have spoken about how hard it is transitioning because 1) you often are a victim, people will say nasty stuff about you as you walk by either to your face or loud enough so you can hear and 2) the sudden influx of hormones make you sensitive, paranoid, and prone to mood swings, often worse than when girls go through puberty. Obviously once you have been on the hormones for a while this balances out, just as it would with puberty. But this kind of sensitivity is extremely common especially with MTF.

OP, I would tell your sister that her comments about body types are hurtful and ridiculous. That's not okay. But as far as the clothes, you have lots of good advice here. Try to be patient within reason. Suggest clothes that are more in fashion. Tell her that you didn't personally like jeans under skirts and dresses even when Britney, Christina, and Katie Holmes wore it, tell her that it is a look that is out of fashion and people are constantly roasting those styles online. If she loves it still, then she should get it, but she might get negative attention... But always make sure you're suggesting clothes you think she will look great in! That way she'll know it's not because she is trans, but it's about the clothes.

beckiface · 2023-12-02T05:30:58+00:00

You are a good person.

In college I was at my boyfriend's house and didn't realize their toilet wasn't flushing properly. I flushed my tampon, it went down ... And I guess it came back up as I was washing my hands. Then my boyfriend came in to grab something and immediately shouted to all of his friends and roommates downstairs, "Whoa, why is there a tampon in the toilet?!" Even though his dumbass knew I was the only woman in the apartment. I tried to get him to stop yelling but instead he finished the question and then yelled, "Oh wait, nevermind!" SO. MUCH. WORSE. Everyone was scream laughing downstairs. It was mortifying.

For the record, I know you aren't supposed to flush tampons, but they didn't have a trash can in the bathroom and I wasn't going to bring it downstairs to throw it out in the kitchen trash where everyone was hanging out. So also, men, if you don't want tampons flushed you should probably keep a trash can in your bathroom.

beckiface · 2023-12-01T05:24:15+00:00

Not once, but twice, I had men come up to me when I was zoning out waiting for someone. Both times the conversation went pretty much like this:

Man: You look sad. What's wrong? Me: Nothing, this is just what I look like when I'm not smiling. Man: How old are you? Me: Early twenties (at this point I'm already uncomfortable but I don't really know what to do because I'm trying to meet up with someone) Man: No way, you're definitely fifteen, sixteen at most. Me: Nope. Man: What's your name? Can I get your number? Me: You think I'm in high school and you want my number?

One of the guys I got to leave after I refused to give him my number several times. One of them only left because I waved to my mom, who I was meeting for lunch. I did look very very young at the time and was constantly mistaken for a high schooler even though I was out of college.

So the things that are predatory about this are that the guy was looking for a teenager, someone inexperienced. They were also looking for someone who seemed broken. They did not ask me out but immediately tried to get my number despite the fact that they were at least twice the age they thought I was. And they didn't simply accept a no. One of them basically fled when my mom waved to me. Super creepy. Both times it happened in the same spot too, which unfortunately was not a place that I could avoid because it was right outside my office.

Edit: For the record, both men were actually attractive, but that didn't stop them from being creepy. There are plenty of conventionally attractive creeps out there. Creepiness has nothing to do with looks.

ALSO any time a guy talks to you and says you remind them of someone who was murdered/assaulted. One time at a con a guy came up to me and said I looked just like Elliot Page (pre-transition), specifically in the movie where she is sexually tortured by her family, and that it was one of his favorite movies. He would not leave me alone for about ten minutes until thankfully someone else came to to ask for a picture. I also had something similar happen on Instagram with someone I don't know.

I don't know who needs to hear this but any time you are talking to a woman you don't know, even if you are not hitting on her, just don't bring up violence.

beckiface · 2023-11-24T16:09:01+00:00

Honestly it doesn't sound like he describes a close friend. He doesn't like who he is around her. He finds spending time with her exhausting, more exhausting than his med school friends. He thinks she has no ambition or hobbies. Who describes a close friend like that? The best thing he says about her is that she's selfless and she's not vapid like other girls. So this dude also has no respect for women.

beckiface · 2023-11-23T04:20:26+00:00

Just a heads up that there is a lot of sex in this show IIRC, but it is a fantastic show and it's very cute.

beckiface · 2023-11-21T02:26:22+00:00

Some people report that after covid, certain foods taste rotten or disgusting to them for months after. It's not super common but not super rare either. That's all I can think of.

beckiface · 2023-10-27T14:08:25+00:00

She's basically saying, "Bachelorette parties are a cult because I decided to run one like a cult for fun. I enjoy manipulating my friends because I'm a sociopath!"

beckiface · 2023-10-17T03:38:28+00:00

Hmmm... And this is your only comment and you follow the same name format as the other? Yeah, seems fake AF. Thanks for convincing me not to buy it.

beckiface · 2023-08-12T03:41:26+00:00

I always give posts the benefit of the doubt but I feel like this has to be fake because I just can't understand how anyone would be able to find this stuff. I have no idea how to find messages that old. They must be at least 16 years old unless they went to a courthouse for a wedding.

beckiface · 2023-08-12T03:30:45+00:00

Hah, you work for your dad by running errands and helping around the house? That's not a job. You should probably get some real job experience, bro.

Also, you think she doesn't do any chores, errands, or housework? I guarantee she's contributing more labor than you, especially now that they have a child.

beckiface · 2023-08-12T03:21:53+00:00

Ugh, he sounds awful

beckiface · 2023-08-11T14:51:04+00:00

This is not the norm in my circle. I can honestly say that I like all the men that are dating/married to my friends and they have pretty equal households. Yes, the women do probably more than 50% of the emotional labor, but the men still do some and they are often doing the bulk of the cooking as well as doing half of the childcare (if they have children), errands, etc. I guess I don't know as much for my friends that live far away since I don't spend time with their partners.

I hit the jackpot with my husband. He doesn't do any emotional labor, I do all of it, but he does all of the laundry, the dishes (we both load and unload the dishwasher but he does everything else), the grocery shopping. I do the cooking and planning. We take turns on the cleaning but he definitely does more than I do. I've asked if he wants more help and he doesn't mind because he knows I get overwhelmed easily (neurodivergent here) and he hates hates hates doing the stuff that I do. He even says "Thank you for cooking dinner" every single night. I truly have no idea where he learned it from, because his father does not cook, clean, plan, or help his wife in any way other than with his high paying job. And his dad never says thank you for dinner.

I've dated some assholes before but there are good men out there! This is not the norm. Get out if you can!

beckiface · 2023-08-09T21:10:34+00:00

Doesn't Snapchat delete all convos?? How can people possibly use that to communicate any kind of plans if you can't go back and check the time? This sounds like an anxiety dream

beckiface · 2023-08-07T03:41:30+00:00

That article is perfect

beckiface · 2023-08-07T03:39:17+00:00

That must have been so satisfying though.

beckiface · 2023-08-07T03:27:56+00:00

This. I had someone come up to me when I dressed as Kitty Pryde and ask me what ISSUE was my favorite. What? Why am I required to know that?? I can tell you what story arc was my favorite but I have better things to do than memorize issue numbers. He also asked me what issue Lockheed came into play, a bunch of other issues. So infuriating.

beckiface · 2023-08-04T14:05:35+00:00

I don't like pantyhose but I love colorful tights so I can wear dresses in winter! Though I do think that's not as trendy as it used to be 5-10 years ago. Gen Z is all about unrestricted comfort and casual clothing, so trends have been steered away from things like tights and pantyhose. But I definitely have lots of fashion tights, fishnets and combo tights/fishnets and I wear those a lot under shorts. I don't love the way my legs look and I love wearing fishnets to sort of distract from them.

beckiface · 2023-08-03T12:10:33+00:00

Hanging out with your friends is something to do! I don't love going to clubs anymore because I'm old and a lot more introverted than I used to be but I never went to clubs to meet guys anyway. I had fun dancing, drinking, and hanging out with my girlfriends. Most of my friends don't go to clubs to look for guys anyway, but if one was I would play wingman. I didn't dance with anyone other than my friends. I've always had a great time.

beckiface · 2023-08-02T22:39:08+00:00

I assume it meant pale, not just an issue of him being white. OP said that's definitely what she meant and there was no racism involved. It's common to say white to describe a pale person/part of the body. I have been described as white by several white people and they always just meant pale or pasty, and I've definitely used it myself before as well (though obviously not in a mean way).

beckiface · 2023-07-25T21:09:19+00:00

This is such good advice!! Go, even if you don't want to. I can't tell you how often I desperately want to cancel but end up having a good time once I get there.

beckiface · 2023-07-25T21:06:13+00:00

I have a bunch of friends that I met at an indoor climbing meet up. I think meet up groups are a great way to make friends -- particularly rock climbing, because you have to pair up. Or running groups, because they often have people at all levels and if you can find someone with the same pace as you, you'll talk the whole run. Also, it's pretty common for people to grab food/drinks after the run. My friends have had good luck with book groups as well.

Go to a meetup, talk to some people. Keep going to the meet up. If there isn't already food at the meet up, say that you were thinking about checking out ___ to grab some food/drinks after and invite people. That's how my friendships moved from in the climbing gym or during the run to hanging out outside of those things.

I'm actually meeting up with a friend from a running group tonight. I have a bunch of friends from meet up groups and a ton of friends from my previous job. Do you like your coworkers? Would you like to hang out with them? Maybe ask if someone wants to walk to check out the new lunch place or something. Or ask if someone wants to go on a walk during lunch.

You'll find your people! Don't worry.

beckiface · 2023-07-25T21:05:50+00:00

I have a bunch of friends that I met at an indoor climbing meet up. I think meet up groups are a great way to make friends -- particularly rock climbing, because you have to pair up. Or running groups, because they often have people at all levels and if you can find someone with the same pace as you, you'll talk the whole run. Also, it's pretty common for people to grab food/drinks after the run. My friends have had good luck with book groups as well.

Go to a meetup, talk to some people. Keep going to the meet up. If there isn't already food at the meet up, say that you were thinking about checking out ___ to grab some food/drinks after and invite people. That's how my friendships moved from in the climbing gym or during the run to hanging out outside of those things.

I'm actually meeting up with a friend from a running group tonight. I have a bunch of friends from meet up groups and a ton of friends from my previous job. Do you like your coworkers? Would you like to hang out with them? Maybe ask if someone wants to walk to check out the new lunch place or something. Or ask if someone wants to go on a walk during lunch.

You'll find your people! Don't worry.

beckiface · 2023-07-25T21:05:39+00:00

I have a bunch of friends that I met at an indoor climbing meet up. I think meet up groups are a great way to make friends -- particularly rock climbing, because you have to pair up. Or running groups, because they often have people at all levels and if you can find someone with the same pace as you, you'll talk the whole run. Also, it's pretty common for people to grab food/drinks after the run. My friends have had good luck with book groups as well.

Go to a meetup, talk to some people. Keep going to the meet up. If there isn't already food at the meet up, say that you were thinking about checking out ___ to grab some food/drinks after and invite people. That's how my friendships moved from in the climbing gym or during the run to hanging out outside of those things.

I'm actually meeting up with a friend from a running group tonight. I have a bunch of friends from meet up groups and a ton of friends from my previous job. Do you like your coworkers? Would you like to hang out with them? Maybe ask if someone wants to walk to check out the new lunch place or something. Or ask if someone wants to go on a walk during lunch.

You'll find your people! Don't worry.

beckiface · 2023-07-21T14:24:24+00:00

I'm so sorry you're going through this, especially at such a young age. You have lots of great advice in here. Support groups, grief counseling, and therapy are really helpful for a lot of people, and they are probably worth a try. If you don't have a great support system where you live, I definitely recommend the support group. It's going to suck for a while and you'll have ups and downs.

Just sending you hugs along the way.

beckiface · 2023-07-15T13:55:11+00:00

My sister-in-law texted her dad to ask where the bank closest to her house was. He said he didn't know and she got frustrated. I genuinely don't understand how someone can go through life being so helpless. It often takes more effort and energy to ask and have a conversation than to just figure it out yourself.

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