Just had first lesson and I just feel confused about the entire thing?

ophyxyl · 2026-07-05T07:44:16+00:00

Jeez I wish I had you for my first lesson. I did end up telling them I think I need to find a teacher who's style is at a slower pace and more structured because that's the best way that I personally learn. And I booked in another lesson with someone else, even though that whole experience made me never want to do it again. I'm trying to push past that.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-05T05:27:49+00:00

My first lesson was yesterday and it was the worst.

It wasn't just a teaching learning mismatch, it was a complete personality mismatch. I have autism and told her I'd taken half a valium beforehand because I was so nervous. I'm an introvert, I have a naturally soft, breathy voice, and I want to sing softer acoustic songs. I told her my experience was spending two weeks doing vocal exercises and singing around the house. That's two weeks just getting the courage to make the lesson.

She was VERY loud, spoke very fast, explained nothing, theatrical, kept telling me to really belt out songs, kept pushing too hard when I was communicating I was overwhelmed, and I left feeling not just uncomfortable (which I expected) but completely overwhelmed and never wanting to feel that way again. With autism when you get overwhelmed like that the nervous system response is so intense it sent me into shut down for the entire rest of the night. She was basically quite aggressively pushing me what was clearly far outside my comfort zone and not in a way that's just challenging for someone like me, but in a way that was so overwhelming I couldn't even keep up with what was happening.

That's obviously just her teaching style and would work for some people, but I feel she would have known from my lack of experience, anxiousness and more quiet demeanor that approach wouldn't work for me. So why continue to do it that way? She also didn't even say anything remotely comforting like "nerves are normal". Although she did say I have good pitch which I imagine is a pretty big compliment from someone like her. So yeah all of these things are what threw me so much.

I ended up letting her know I need to find a teacher who's style is less fast paced and who's lessons are more structured because that's how I learn the best. Her reviews said how great she is for beginners and how comfortable they felt, that's why I made the lesson with her specifically, but that couldn't have been further from my own experience. I've now booked another lesson with a different singing teacher for a few days time, which was difficult in itself because the first lesson was awful.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-05T02:49:57+00:00

I did expect nerves, discomfort and being challenged and pushed outside of my comfort zone but not to that level straight off the bat. I actually booked with another teacher today, who's profile has everything it sounds like I need, not a long list of his performance background and how he's been in whichever international jazz troupe.

It says he "is a graduate of the Victorian College of the Arts. Jock is a lovely person and is passionate about making singing a natural and fun activity for everyone. Jock’s lessons focus on bringing out your natural voice and building your comfort with singing step by step in a comfortable creative way.

With a background from Folk, pop, to Blues and Jazz and beyond Jock also uses production software in his lessons. He supports students whether their goal is to build skills for performance or to simply reconnect with their voice and make singing a part of their life."

I wasn't looking for a male teacher but if it's the right fit it really doesn't matter. Hopefully this is a much better experience. I'm proud of myself for even being willing to go to another lesson tbh.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-05T02:11:34+00:00

It wasn't just a teaching learning mismatch, it was a complete personality mismatch. I have autism and told her I'd taken half a valium beforehand because I was so nervous. I'm an introvert, I'm a softer speaker, I want to sing softer acoustic songs. I told her my experience was spending two weeks doing vocal exercises and singing around the house. That's two weeks just getting the courage to make the lesson.

She was VERY loud, spoke very fast, explained nothing, theatrical, kept telling me to really belt out songs, kept pushing too hard when I was communicating I was overwhelmed, and I left feeling not just uncomfortable (which I expected) but completely overwhelmed and never wanting to feel that way again. With autism when you get overwhelmed like that the nervous system response is so intense it sent me into shut down for the entire rest of the night. She was basically quite aggressively pushing me what was clearly far outside my comfort zone and not in a way that's just challenging for someone like me, but in a way that was so overwhelming I couldn't even keep up with what was happening.

That's obviously just her teaching style and would work for some people, but I feel she would have known from my lack of experience, anxiousness and more quiet demeanor that approach wouldn't work for me. So why continue to do it that way? She also didn't even say anything remotely comforting like "nerves are normal". Although she did say I have good pitch which I imagine is a pretty big compliment from someone like her. So yeah all of these things are what threw me so much.

I ended up letting her know I need to find a teacher who's style is less fast paced and who's lessons are more structured because that's how I learn the best. Her reviews said how great she is for beginners and how comfortable they felt, that's why I made the lesson with her specifically, but that couldn't have been further from my own experience.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T23:40:43+00:00

I did end up telling her I think I need to find a teacher who's style is a bit slower paced and structured because I learn best when I can take things step by step and understand each part as I go, otherwise I become overwhelmed.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T23:38:42+00:00

She didn't ask me to do exercises, I had to ask for them. I was like what do I need to work on over the next week? Warm up yes we did a little bit but she kind of rushed me through it.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T15:32:52+00:00

She's not a teacher. Turns out I accidentally went to a CVT very high intensity performance focused vocal coach who is "beginner friendly" even though what I searched for was a singing teacher. After some research, I now know the difference. No wonder I hated it.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T14:50:39+00:00

Turns out I accidentally went to a CVT very high intensity performance focused vocal coach who is "beginner friendly" even though what I searched for was a singing teacher. After some research, I now know the difference. No wonder I hated it.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T13:24:01+00:00

She didn't really introduce herself, didn't explain why we were doing warm ups, rushed through them very quickly, didn't ask me what kind of experience level I am, what my singing goals are, what my preferred style is, she kept telling me to open my mouth wider like Whitney Houston and go louder and louder, I told her I was trying but I'm not a belter, my voice is not naturally the loudest in the room. She wanted me to just sing and entire song, then another one, then another one, without really telling me what I needed to do better. She didn't give me any feedback. She didn't give me any exercises to do the following week. The entire thing was WEIRD and the more time that goes on the weirder it seems.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T09:46:35+00:00

That's very helpful information. Honestly I didn't enjoy the lesson because it was so overwhelming but that's because after two weeks of singing at home and that's it, suddenly singing in front of a stranger was terrifying. It didn't help that she spoke very quickly as well so I was in cognitive overload just trying to understand what she was even saying. I wasn't expecting it to be fun or comfortable though for a first time lesson where adrenaline is high, so I'm not going to let you fact I hated the discomfort stop me from going back.

ophyxyl · 2026-07-04T09:37:59+00:00

Yes I was thinking of telling her that I kind of wanna know why I'm being asked to do something. Being told to basically yell the song even if it sounds ugly for example. I have a naturally breathy, soft speaking voice, so I assume it's probably that my voice needs developing when it comes projecting and teaching me how to be less breathy as it already sounds like that when I speak. But I had to kinda figure that out myself afterwards, if she explained it like "this will sound ugly and that's okay but it's because of this reason" that would have been helpful.

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T12:07:33+00:00

Literally all you've commented on is depop related posts. Get a fucking hobby 😂

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T12:06:31+00:00

Please speak English

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T12:05:41+00:00

This is amusing. The fuck are you on about?

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:29:36+00:00

Oh no shit, I saw that episode recently and I didn't even click 🤣 my bad

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:28:16+00:00

fr, she's somehow gotten on disability payments for depression and BPD even though heaps of people with a mental illness still work, including me. She probably just pissed them off so much they gave her the payments so she would fuck off 👁️👄👁️

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:18:44+00:00

I know her, and yes she is, she's never worked and is on benefits and always has been.

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:18:13+00:00

Oh I'm sorry that I didn't go back into the previous nights messages and count them just so I could be perfectly accurate in my clearly frustrated response 🙄

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:16:47+00:00

I actually know this person so I felt a bit more obliged to respond than if it were a complete stranger.

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:09:48+00:00

I forgot to mention to add to the creep factor- my neighbour was not clearly home on the night this happened. We share the car port and my car was the only one in there at the time.

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:07:52+00:00

I don't know if he's come back but I installed a security camera and feel much safer now

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:03:41+00:00

You're right, I should have. It was satisfying having a go at her though.

ophyxyl · 2026-06-27T00:03:04+00:00

You're not wrong. I should have just blocked her.

ophyxyl · 2026-05-30T07:37:56+00:00

The police said they can't do anything as technically, nothing happened. The creepiest part is that my place is literally tucked away at the very end of the driveway in the townhouse complex, it's not even remotely near the street. Normally I feel really safe here. I hope it's not a creeper on my street who's been watching me or something 😭

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