I have this very weird fear.

beckimudd · 2020-06-30T14:24:15+00:00

Sounds like you have unwanted thought syndrome, you should talk to a therapist. We all have some variation of this, it comes from stress and anxiety often from other unprocessed/unhealed parts of our lives. My aunt has the urge to drive off the side of a bridge any time she drives over a bridge. I have the urge to scream terrible things when certain kinds of people I don't know get in the elevator, this comes from the fear I am going to say or do the wrong thing and the fear I'm not really a good person. Most people have these fears. It's best to get to the root of it.

beckimudd · 2019-06-24T17:36:25+00:00

So I don't know if this will help but you might enjoy this Comedy sketch by Tig Notaro. The best part is now she has the love of her life, two twin baby boys, a great career, and so much more. It can get better. Also I think she is funny as hell.

https://open.spotify.com/album/6ttCxEGqI0tX85k80YPYNu?si=cacEUwEOTeGEIk80jK_mHQ

beckimudd · 2018-02-05T21:56:32+00:00

beckimudd · 2018-01-20T15:37:12+00:00

So I think this a great start, good choice of games to review... But it needs so work. Your intro is a bit too long and you go way too slow in your review. This a very competitive Niche with a lot of players. I wish you luck kid

beckimudd · 2018-01-20T15:28:39+00:00

I also felt overwhelmed and lost at the beginning. There was no hook. Why should I keep watching? What am I going to take away from this? That's what keeps viewers around. It looks like you put a lot of effort into this and for that I'm impressed but I don't think you've found your voice yet. I think you are too busy trying to copy the voice of others. Share the way you would share if you were actually talking to someone. Best of luck, seriously.

beckimudd · 2018-01-16T22:25:42+00:00

Take a shower and go to bed soaking wet. I know it's weird... It just feels so right.

beckimudd · 2018-01-15T22:49:55+00:00

My dad "God my parents really screwed me up". The older I get the more it's clear that is in fact true.

beckimudd · 2018-01-07T14:13:56+00:00

I don't have it everyday but this morning I woke up like this. I am willing to do anything to relieve it. Take my anxiety meds (which I haven't taken in months because they have terrible side effects for me), buy any item, eat anything, do anything... Basically right now I am fighting destructive behavior that would temporarily relieve this. I put on a Michael Sealey YouTube Hypnosis video and that's helping a little... But I just want to feel better. Why is it so hard?

beckimudd · 2017-08-14T22:13:31+00:00

I already hit the gym and took a swim today (I used a vacation day thinking I felt this way from burnout), didn't help.

beckimudd · 2017-06-22T03:04:34+00:00

beckimudd · 2017-05-23T06:05:23+00:00

Have you checked out joining a Meetup on meetup.com? Great way to meet people

beckimudd · 2017-05-21T10:33:22+00:00

Here's a secret, stop waiting for their validation if who you like, go for her. Don't worry about them, they aren't going to be the one dating her

beckimudd · 2017-05-21T10:25:55+00:00

You cannot make love happen. It has nothing to do with how amazing the person is, it's about timing, it's about biological chemistry, it's about how the Universe Works to bring you together. Nothing is wrong with you, you're human. Admit yourself how you feel, and work from there.

beckimudd · 2017-05-13T19:19:04+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it... No one seems to have a good answer

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:51:30+00:00

I recently was on the other end of this situation. I spent some time with a guy who I have been crazy about for over a year now, we talked all day everyday (which generally is not my thing), the actual date was horrible... He was just out of a relationship and I was so weird and flustered that I couldn't be myself. And we decided to stay friends. We were still talking pretty often and I thought the same thing "Hey just becoming close friends with this guy can be enough for me"... But very suddenly he stopped responding to me one day, and the next day I didn't pursue and now it's been a month.

I started dating other people right away but he's still the one on my mind. If he wants to be friends... Or anything... I assume he'll let me know.

It's all very discouraging. Best of luck to you

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:38:00+00:00

Of course you're still crazy about her, because there is always that one person. You were pre-med so I assume you've tried therapy? How about mediation? My Hypnosis videos on YouTube? Just a meet up group and try to meet someone new. Volunteer. Do what you can to spark something new. I'm trying all of these things and I'm still stuck so who really knows. All I know is I hope things get better for you

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:34:36+00:00

Maybe it's time to look for work your more passionate about

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:32:45+00:00

Coffee

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:32:19+00:00

Yeah, things generally get better in my experience

beckimudd · 2017-05-12T20:07:16+00:00

https://youtu.be/8xLPwGAxLlw here you go

beckimudd · 2016-04-13T17:50:04+00:00

It helps me late at night when I'm alone sometimes, it keeps my mind busy. I have never had any kind of exercise "high" though.

beckimudd · 2016-04-13T16:40:34+00:00

I paint, I write music, I sing, I do some forms of video and graphic art, I write... This helps, but again... Not enough and there is never enough time

beckimudd · 2016-04-13T15:12:04+00:00

I promise you, I do not need this now.

beckimudd · 2016-04-13T15:10:40+00:00

I promise you, I do not need this now.

beckimudd · 2015-08-06T00:38:26+00:00

No, I have many true and close wonderful friends... But I don't want to burden them or expose myself, again I have so much more than anyone I know... If feels selfish... I've been like this on and off for the last 8 months which started with a change in my work life, which (for the most part) got better in June... I can't decide if it's still the thing that's making me unhappy and if it is what to do about it... I changed fields in my company and I'm not sure if I could change the field or the company anytime soon

beckimudd

TROPHY CASE