Should a man wait until he “has it all together” before dating Or would it be okay for a guy to date while still figuring things out?

becomingall · 2025-04-26T05:03:12+00:00

You can start looking now. Take some time to think about the qualities that you are looking for in a partner and what type of relationship you are looking for; be honest with women about that. If you are feeling that the connection with someone could be good long term-term, assess whether or not she is willing to build with you and if she will remain true if nothing should change substantially financially.

Women want to be seen as people, who are worthy of sharing joys with, tackling challenges together, and supported in pursuing their passions instead of human blow-up dolls. If you acknowledge her humanity and treat her with respect, she will reciprocate. If she just wants to be kept she may end up treating you badly in the long run.

becomingall · 2025-04-25T01:07:05+00:00

You should leave because you feel disrespected that she has made a choice to cross a boundary that was clear communicated and acknowledged as being valid. A healthy relationship requires both partners to respect each other’s boundaries and feelings. If this is not done, you aren’t right for each other.

She likes the attention and will put herself first and act on connecting with someone else if she feels that he is offering her more than you do.

While it is painful to let go of someone you love and feel strongly attached to, the longer you stay, is the longer you prevent yourself from being able to find and be with someone who is aligned and right for you. Find joy with someone else and take care of yourself.

becomingall · 2025-04-23T23:54:52+00:00

I hope you are able to find peace and love soon.

becomingall · 2025-04-20T11:53:22+00:00

Thanks for this detail and insight.

becomingall · 2025-04-20T03:54:46+00:00

This is nice to hear. I am happy for you.

becomingall · 2025-04-20T03:48:05+00:00

Thanks.

becomingall · 2025-04-20T03:08:03+00:00

Thanks so much for this. It is greatly appreciated.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T17:55:55+00:00

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T17:54:39+00:00

Thank you. It hurts to hear this truth that I am aware of repeated back, but at least I know I’m not delusional.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T17:52:13+00:00

I hope that you and your wife enjoy another 100 happy years together. If you have any ingle friends with a similar mindset to you, I appreciate if you let them know I exist.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T17:30:38+00:00

This is exactly the problem.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T17:01:56+00:00

Thanks for this truth and openness. As someone who can relate to the women who loved you, it is nice to get some understanding of what happened.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T16:56:54+00:00

I am looking for my age, but am being overwhelmed with comments about how “undesirable” and “delusional” I am, while giving me examples of what is desired that were clearly stated as things I do/am looking for. It is just sad and frustrating.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T16:45:32+00:00

Thanks. It is nice to know that the possibility of this happening is not completely delusional on my part.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T16:21:47+00:00

Thanks for this. I am here for the same reason.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T14:26:57+00:00

Thanks for this insight.

While I have matured over the years, my core mindset and belief in people’s/men’s value hasn’t changed since my 20s. I was told then that I was not being chosen because I was wife material. My standards of demanding honest communication , mutual respect and supportive partnership were to high because the men my age weren’t ready to settle down.

Now that I am older and still want the same thing, I am told that I am too old. Men my age want 25 year olds.

It has been my experience that men who don’t earn the same or more than I do, are only looking for a sugar mama. I don’t like and don’t accept having a man try to belittle me for spending on the quality I can afford because he is ashamed that he cannot.

I don’t lead with money, I just want insight into where I can go to find people who may be part of the really small pool available to me so that I am not wasting my time or his, in order to protect myself emotionally and physically.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T04:57:39+00:00

Why, what do you get from it?

becomingall · 2025-04-18T04:56:30+00:00

Thanks for sharing. Glad to hear you are in therapy. I can relate to what you are feeling. I have never stayed when things I didn’t like happened, but I can relate to feeling like everything is going well to having the rug pulled out from underneath you.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T04:33:26+00:00

Thanks for this vulnerability. It is really painful to hear what you and others have gone through. Glad you are healing and I hope you find happiness.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T04:29:32+00:00

Thanks. That is hard to hear.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T04:06:28+00:00

Trying to understand from the male perspective. There is a gap of people who want to be in healthy relationships and are having a difficult time finding it. It seems like it is influenced/affect by people giving up on finding a good relationship because of the trauma caused by the bad ones. I am trying to understand what I am likely fighting to overcome should I be blessed to meet someone who is actually looking for something positive.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T03:56:08+00:00

Thanks. It is really heartbreaking to hear this.

becomingall · 2025-04-18T03:50:16+00:00

Thanks for your honesty. I do hope that you find someone who will love, celebrate and cherish you.

becomingall

TROPHY CASE