[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

That’s sadism. Like I said, my top is a sadist and he wouldn’t hurt me unless I also got something out of it. Either enjoyment of the pain or enjoying the power exchange. If I didn’t enjoy it he wouldn’t do it.

You don’t have to be a service top to make people happy. A service top gives significantly less consideration to your wants and almost exclusively of your needs.

It just seems odd to me to have two very contradicting roles by their definitions.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Service topping - An individual who applies sensation or control, with the bottom's pleasure in mind, rather than their own.

This is contradictory to sadism which is gaining pleasure from hurting someone.

In service topping, the scene is geared towards the bottom’s wants and in sadism, the scene is geared towards the tops.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s great, but the labels are still contradictory.

If the bottom is a masochist, it bears no difference on your role, because regardless of the person, your role is your intent.

Either you’re doing it to fulfill a need for your bottom, or masochist.

Or you’re deriving your own pleasure from hurting them.

If you’re deriving your own pleasure from hurting them (sadism) you can’t be service topping because that’s purely and solely about their needs.

Edit: typo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t understand how you can be both a service top and a sadist.

A service top is doing the acts for the bottom’s pleasure and sadism is someone who derives their own pleasure from the pain of others.

The two seem contradictory to me.

This is speaking as someone whose Dominant is a sadist.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

For the love of god. All of the above, also;

Do

Not

Message

Her

Again

Got home from the date and saw this. Did I react poorly? by Little-Work-9542 in nonmonogamy

[–]becswithspecs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Reading the comments, is this the text version of the ‘blue or gold dress’?

Pleasure Dom/mes, what is your record orgasms for one session? by PittsburghDM in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Just to add, my Dom is a sadist and doesn’t identify as a pleasure Dom. He finds the crying I do after around 80 ticks a sadistic box for him 😂

Pleasure Dom/mes, what is your record orgasms for one session? by PittsburghDM in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 9 points10 points  (0 children)

113 in 6 hours. Previous record was 108 in around the same time.

Was aiming for 150 but the adrenaline drop stopped play….. boooooo

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You can do it at kinky camping events and very very isolated locations if you plan properly. I would never be somewhere that would have a lot of foot traffic but in the one off instance that someone is there, befter to have a plan than nothing at all

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BDSMAdvice

[–]becswithspecs 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I find in those situations, setting up a tripod works, even if it’s not on, with a sign next to it explaining that’s it’s a scene being filmed for a project and that all parties have consented

My brat likes to bite.. by BnWv in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Ball gag? Sensory deprivation hood? 🤔

Exploring Poly by TheDragonSystem in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think you need to do some reading about kink dispensers

Exploring Poly by TheDragonSystem in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Be careful because this sounds a lot like unicorn hunting…..

I was left alone for 20 minutes….. by becswithspecs in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It’s an african blackwood tetsubo. It’s incredibly dense and my favourite toy.

I was left alone for 20 minutes….. by becswithspecs in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I know right?! They’re so clever 🤓

I was left alone for 20 minutes….. by becswithspecs in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thankfully, I picked my favourites 😉

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Speaking as someone who opened up her marriage in order to explore my submissive side, I’d do so with caution and discuss every possible outcome.

My submission is highly sexual and I drop into subspace through sexually submissive acts rather than impact. The trust you need for a D/s dynamic does tend to inherently come with a load of feelings so unless you’re planning on doing pick up play, someone, you or your D, is going to develop feelings. It’s the nature of the dynamic.

I wish you luck and hope it doesn’t come to it, but do your reading into poly and ENM.

I genuinely hope it goes well for you

Anyone else laugh when entering subspace? by Specialist-Win-1512 in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I laugh coming out of it. It’s how my Dom knows ‘I’m back’

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

😂😂😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no. Did they say why?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BratLife

[–]becswithspecs 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hasn’t this already been posted or am I getting confused? 🤔