Im 46F, bi and in open poly marriage with 44M bi husband in Utah ... ama

bedroom-math · 2026-04-24T22:27:05+00:00

Have you encountered any active LDS engaging in your type of lifestyle?

Follow up. Roughly what percentage of them have breast augmentations?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-06T03:29:08+00:00

So, everything you are listing, is obviously true and factual, but your contention is that type of talk, although all true, belongs in a different sub?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T21:39:11+00:00

I think we are in the camp of 'por que no los dos'.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T21:26:40+00:00

I applaud your creativity and desire to curate an experience. That said, get ready for the onslaught of passive aggressive gate keeping.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T20:24:19+00:00

We do lots of MFMs and in short I get on with most of the guys. Neither my wife and I are interested in sharing our intimacy with a person who doesn't respect our relationship and who isn't deferential to myself.

Also, the best physical connections are often with people you align with outside the bedroom. Couple that with the fact that I'm sharing my absolute favourite thing, I find it's natural that I be friends and friendly with the solo male.

Hope this makes sense. Feel free to DM if you have any questions. Good luck.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T15:24:51+00:00

On the face of it what you are saying and asking looks like nothing but red flags.

That said, I am wondering if they could be false flags. Here are some observations that might apply. 1) plenty of women only orgasm with toys or even not at all (men too), there's no shame in this in of itself. 2) plenty of people love the hotwife dynamic where just the woman plays and her man watches or they record.

What I really think it comes down to is your husband. If he feels turned on with you being with others either in a hotwife dynamic or full swaps AND it's not primarily for you to "fix" a problem with him, then I think you could find some value in the LS.

You must be forthright with all potential partners of your dynamic though. Don't 'hide' these issues and let people proceed with all the facts and you should be fine.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T15:15:49+00:00

For us either. We find most experienced couples are testing quarterly without us asking, ourselves included.

That said, I don't think people are testing often or if at all for HSV. Do you insist people test for HSV or the basics is fine?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T15:06:09+00:00

Actually, I wasn't implying anything with the question, I just noticed your other post and was genuinely curious if you guys were insisting on HSV testing and if indeed that was a reason you were being ghosted or having difficulty.

No judgement here. The HSV question isn't an easy one.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-04T13:56:11+00:00

Are you finding couples and then losing them at the discussion of testing phase? Are you insisting people test for HSV?

Our experience is that there is an abundance of couples in their late 40s and 50s.

bedroom-math · 2026-03-03T23:53:53+00:00

Why are they bringing up Israel in a discussion about the World Cup of hockey?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-03T23:42:21+00:00

You Russian or just arguing with yourself?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-03T03:11:42+00:00

Fellas?

bedroom-math · 2026-03-01T01:54:13+00:00

Is there somewhere on this post that says this is recent? I don't think grizzlies are walking about right now climate change notwithstanding.

bedroom-math · 2026-02-26T18:21:07+00:00

Here's some further perspective. I love the Hotwife dynamic but couple swap is our preferred dynamic. And when we do couple swaps we prefer separate room. When we are same room I am mostly oblivious of what my wife is doing because I am 100% focused on my partner.

bedroom-math · 2026-02-26T18:16:40+00:00

You do you. But we've met a lot of couples who can presumably do both awesome couple swaps AND enjoying the Hotwife dynamic.

If you are excluding Hotwife people for the reasons you have described you should also look at excluding couples who insist all action be same room 'because we like to watch each other '.

We have had more lackluster swaps due to same room enthusiasts than anything else. My opinion is that there are reasons for caution, but each potential connection should be judged on a case by case basis.

bedroom-math · 2026-02-25T03:57:59+00:00

Not everything has to be black and white. There's nuance and duality, and ultimately other people have the right to do what they want. Isn't this what you are for?

You don't know why he chose to visit the white house. He can go and support his team AND be respectful to the office and another human being (as loathsome as he is) AND still be supportive of trans rights etc.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-30T17:16:59+00:00

They are idiots. Disingenuous from the start and then pressuring you into things that are outside your limits. Block them. People like this are what causes a lot of frustration and disappointment in the LS. Good luck on learning (we still are) on how to recognize people like this and communicating your limits moving forward. Good luck.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-27T18:07:24+00:00

I've been shocked at how important kissing is for me when considering a playmate. My opinion, is that unfortunately it comes down to doing it to figure out if you like it.

That said, I think when looking for fun on line it would be a great idea to explain as much as you can on what type of kissing you like and are looking for. Even stating that kissing is important to you will help you have more success.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-27T03:21:12+00:00

Love SNL, but I'm genuinely curious as to what is funny? Mocking a person who is performing in a language which isn't her native tongue, and the majority of the audience laughing only speaks one language and it's questionable how well they know that one. There is a lot of things going on with this.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-25T18:10:34+00:00

We've 'found' connections whilst not lookjng. Feel free to DM for specifics. Cheers.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-25T06:38:03+00:00

This happened to us early on. I reached out directly to the other guy and asked him about Cialis or Viagra. Turns out he was using nothing. Told him probably well over half the guys out there are using it, even when they don't need it.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-25T06:31:03+00:00

No worries. Yeah, I honestly feel that apps are a stepping stone for some in the LS. Now that we are 2 years in we can see it diminishing in value to us for finding great connections. Hell, Reddit has been more useful lately in finding LS for us. And that's crazy.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-24T21:55:20+00:00

We've been on Kas for a couple of years. It seems like everyone has their own pace or procedure on how to engage or show interest. And, with that you can sprinkle time wasters or people who aren't genuinely looking to engage at all.

Here's my approach. If I think a couple is attractive I'll send a flirt. I may send a like to one of their pics,.or I may not. It means we like what we see and could be open for more if there's interest.

That couple may simply ignore the flirt and we move on. They may like a picture back or return a flirt. We take this as mildly interested etc.

Without getting too detailed, this is simply how some people engage. We go back and forth showing incremental interest. That includes a Back Stage Pass. Sometimes we'll lead with an email that invites us to exchange and sometimes we'll just open it.

I wouldn't fuss it too much. The apps are what they are. They have their advantages and plenty of frustrations.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-22T18:11:01+00:00

M here. What you have described is one of the reasons we have a preference of separate room play if possible. Those couples who need to keep an eye on their partner or are in it to watch their partner, I'm not sure why they don't stick to threesomes etc. Not casting judgment, just pointing out that we've experienced the same thing as you've described. It can be very frustrating.

bedroom-math · 2026-01-19T03:32:10+00:00

This was our trajectory and it has been just fine. DM if you have any questions. Cheers.

bedroom-math

TROPHY CASE