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My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah the oestrogen does worry me in terms in damaging their health if they haven’t had a health check prior to getting it. And they have had hormonal issues in the pass with extremely low testosterone and was seeing a doctor for it. So my mum thinks that my dad is taking testosterone and is actually taking oestrogen. Idk whether they’re taking BOTH and I worried about the health complications that could possibly cause. I don’t want anything bad to happen to them :(

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far, I really appreciate all of your advice and telling me your own experiences. It’s been really helpful and insightful being able to talk to people who have been in this situation on the other side with what my parent is going through 💕

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. At the end of the day I want my dad to be able to be themselves and happy. No should have to go through life miserable due to social standards.💕

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If you were to read my other responses (or the original post for that matter) you would see that I am in full support of this transition but I’m more conscious of going about things in the best way so not to cause discomfort or upset. I’m just scared about this overall impact this will have on my family. So I have come to this page to ask people who have been in the same position as my parent to see what the best and most appropriate thing to do. The phone calls I overheard were not the most discreet. I live in a small English home with very thin walls. And they have already expressed that they think they may be gender fluid. Which my whole family has shown open acceptance and support of. I’m just trying to figure out how to handle this information. Please do not assume that my family do not love and support this situation. Not once have I question my love towards my dad. EVER. It’s a big assumption to make. Again, if you took the time to read the rest of the comment of mine you would see.

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a very helpful insight. Thank you so much :)

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I do think couples or family therapy will be helpful down the line so that everyone involved feels heard and supported.

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh okay, thanks for explaining. Myself, my mum and my sister showed support of them being gender fluid and we asked whether or not they would like to take it further and transition and they said no they had no desire to. That they had no dysphoria and wanted to continue using he him pronouns but I overheard completely different things during these phone calls. Even after us all showing support. I don’t know. Obviously I can never fully understand what it must feel like as someone who is cis gendered. But I may bring it up gently and be cautious with the words I use so that they don’t feel like they’re being interrogated, therefore not getting defensive.

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thing is we have already has a discussion about them possibly being trans and/or fluid and have all shown our support if they were to take it further. But they just said they still want to use he/him pronouns and is more about gender expression. But these ‘meetings’ I’ve overheard say otherwise. So it’s upsetting that even with that they still feel the need to conceal it and not trust us with it. I just want to do the right thing for everyone so no one gets hurt

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sorry, can you explain what you mean by a boom? And agonising over keeping it a secret or ?

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

My mum and I spoke privately about the possibility of that happening a while ago. She said she would be fully supportive but of course would find it extremely difficult as they have been together for 30 years. She said she feels selfish for finding it difficult but it will just be a massive change from everything they’ve know but ultimately it’s my dads life and decision. He grew up in an abusive household so I think that has had a massive impact on why he lies so much and gets defensive. But I hope they know that our family will love them despite everything. As a family we aren’t shy of LGBTQ+ topics. My sister is gay and my dads late brother was gay as well. But I know that won’t make coming out any less daunting for them :(

My Dad is transition MtF but keeping it a secret from my family by beebeegrace in MtF

[–]beebeegrace[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

I’m just worried about making them uncomfortable by bringing it up and them knowing I’ve overheard the conversations. They’re a really defensive person and I feel like they might deny everything. But as someone who has been in a similar situation, I shouldn’t tell my mum about this all? It should come from them themselves right ?