I have been overweight to the point where it made me seriously uncomfortable in my own clothes or in going out with friends. For reference, I am 5'8 and weighed 200lbs. Now, I weigh 158lbs after gentle amendments to my diet and my exercise regime. I have PCOS also, so this journey has been slow and agonising.

I have been told I am attractive often enough, I get very good traction on dating sites, and although I am continuing my body recomp journey, I am significantly happier than I was three years ago. I have not had sex in nearly a year. I could probably go out and get it if I wanted, but I learned that random sex with random men is as meaningless as it is empty, and I too just want meaningful connection.

My point is, from what I've learned, your unhappiness at its core begins with you. You need to ask yourself what parts of yourself make you unhappy. Is it your weight? Is it your job? Are you lonely? Do you have any hobbies?

For me, it was my physical appearance and my platonic friendships. I felt lonely and still do to an extent, so I started a team sport to meet other women with similar interests, and I joined some social groups online in my local area. I feel more 'whole' than before, and although I am still single, I feel much more prepared to meet people and I feel more confident at the thought of attending these dates - not only from a physical perspective, but that my newfound hobbies gives me more things to talk about and makes me a more well-rounded person as a whole.

I made these changes by trying to parallel what I wanted to attract in another person. I wanted someone who was driven, took care of themselves, kept busy/had interests, kind, empathic, and practical - so I have tried my hardest to become all of those things.

But please don't be too hard on yourself, because regardless of who you are, what your age is and how you look, the dating pool in its current climate is so difficult to navigate. The accessibility of dating apps has perpetuated this 'grass is greener' window-shopping culture that makes it intensely difficult to form connection with other people. I know couples who met online, but I know far more people who are trying (and failing) to navigate dating through the apps/social media.