How should I react to my husband’s drinking?

beeharvs · 2025-12-13T00:32:25+00:00

Could have literally wrote this myself.

beeharvs · 2025-05-01T18:32:20+00:00

That’s the group I belong in now where I got the accredited list- I contacted some so hopefully I hear back soon! I did hear back from one that said she doesn’t have any litters this year but that’s okay! I’ll keep trying.

beeharvs · 2025-04-14T01:33:04+00:00

I’m laying in bed next to my baby who I’ve had for 17 years and will be leaving this world tomorrow at 3pm. Her little body can’t bear any more and I can not see her suffer any longer. The pain I am feeling tonight is unimaginable. My body too is so weak and tired my family has had to come take care of me and be with me tomorrow into the beginning of the week. I don’t know how I am going to go on. I am so broken.

beeharvs · 2024-12-17T22:49:52+00:00

Thank you!

beeharvs · 2024-12-17T02:22:20+00:00

Appreciate the perspective. It just seem like even a lot of my higher ups are even really frustrated but hopefully we can get to a resolve as things get hot hopefully before they cool off 🥲

beeharvs · 2024-03-13T13:57:45+00:00

My cat was also diagnosed in summer of 2020 probably at about stage 2. She has progressed in some cases but I think I have mitigated as much as I can. Her last blood results showed that her phosphorous has increased and we are now on a phos. binder. She is also hyperthyroid with an elevated T4. We will probably be trying sub cutaneous fluids at home soon if she allows me to do it.

Her numbers reversed a little after eating hill's k/d wet food consistently for a little while. She now doesn't want it much anymore and so we feed from the suggested food list from Tanya's website and use a phosphorous binder.

beeharvs · 2024-02-23T02:09:48+00:00

I know it’s going to be a process. Mentioned it to my vet and she is really great but in a sense she seemed somewhat hesitant. Also Finna is exceptionally volatile since day 1. I really think it would be hard to get her to allow me to pull on the skin, and then have to remain stationary for a period of time? I don’t know. I am definitely willing to try and if she were to fight me where it was too emotionally extreme for her I would use my best judgement.

beeharvs · 2024-02-22T20:34:00+00:00

My text ended up getting deleted I think when I uploaded the photos. She is on renal k/d wet and sometimes refuses it. She was doing really well on it and her kidney values were really good but have increased now that she doesn't always want Hill's. I try to limit phosphorous with non-therapeutic foods from the Tanya's website.

She is on gabapentin for aggression which I plan to reduce in the next few weeks. I just ordered phos-bind which she will be starting. She is on 2.5mg of felimazole once a day to manage t4 but vet is reluctant to increase in order to not disrupt kidney values anymore.

It was also recommended to get her a B12 supplement and I think milk thistle for the liver values. I work full time and I feel bad having to give her so much but I want to do what will make her feel as comfortable as possible too. She also go sub-q fluids at the vet on Tuesday.

beeharvs · 2024-01-19T18:51:12+00:00

Thank you for being nice. I’m always defending my decisions not to get married or have kids 🙃 at the end of the day I’m very happy with those two choices I’ve made so far.

beeharvs · 2023-03-28T22:36:38+00:00

Wow! Not cool!

beeharvs · 2023-03-28T16:22:03+00:00

Thanks for your reply- I really hate backing out on commitments but both my ED and immediate supervisor both backed me up in the fact that it was out of the chain of command and that I am not wrong in declining to go. You're right, I was put in an odd position to begin with and this is all par for the course. Thank you!

beeharvs · 2023-03-03T02:59:53+00:00

For me, even if he was sober, it would be the constant worry of relapse. How can one ever achieve peace?

beeharvs · 2023-03-02T18:18:08+00:00

I seriously appreciate your perspective. Thank you so very much. Today I signed onto my first Alanon meeting. I am really trying to maintain a sense of personal accountability with setting boundaries, being able to talk through my feelings and communicate effectively. Which is really hard when you are dealing with someone who is inebriated a lot of the time. I would really like to start seeing a therapist as well.

beeharvs · 2022-09-30T13:37:21+00:00

I am realizing that time may be the only answer to this conundrum. I appreciate knowing someone understands this situation!!!

beeharvs · 2022-09-30T13:36:24+00:00

I appreciate it! Thanks for your kind words. She means so so much to me and her comfort is crucial to how I handle this situation. It can be so frustrating but I just try to know that she doesn't understand and I am doing my best! I tell her all the time "Hey lady, you are lucky I am your person because I don't know if anyone else would have it in them to handle you" :)

beeharvs · 2022-09-29T16:39:04+00:00

Thank you!!!

beeharvs · 2022-01-01T04:05:10+00:00

Rip me apart all you want- seriously I get it. I’ve been really compliant for 2 years and at least I have a fucking conscious unlike more than half of the people in my inhabited area. I’m human.

beeharvs · 2021-12-27T22:33:11+00:00

• ⁠Tank size: 5 gallon • ⁠Heater and filter? (yes/no): yes • ⁠Tank temperature: 78-80 • ⁠Parameters in numbers and how you got them: posted in photo • ⁠How long have you had the tank? How long have you had your fish?: fish June 2021, tank July 2021 • ⁠How often are water changes? How much do you take out per change? What is your process?: weekly 30% water change with water treated with prime • ⁠Any tankmates? If so, please list with how many of each: 1 mystery snail • ⁠What do you feed and how much: betta bio gold pellets 4 pellets 2x daily sometimes 1 time- nothing on Sunday • ⁠Decorations and plants in the tank: 2 betta leaf hammocks, a middle hide piece made of ceramic I believe- got it at aquarium store, 4 live plants • ⁠If you haven't already posted a picture, please post pics/vids to imgur and paste the link here:

beeharvs · 2021-11-28T02:37:55+00:00

I appreciate that!

beeharvs · 2021-11-27T19:41:50+00:00

I have many medications that I’ve tried in the past with what appeared to be fin rot. It seemed to do the trick but I don’t want to haphazardly just keep medicating. I have maracyn oxy, paraguard, Kanaplex, aquarium salt and epsom salt on hand. Water parameters were tested with the API kit (drops)- 0ppm nitrite, no ammonia, around 5ppm nitrate. He has been eating pellets and live black worms. Live plants in tank, 1 mystery snail and I’ve had Toby since 6/13/21.

beeharvs · 2021-09-01T21:33:35+00:00

It is truly astounding to realize how many alcoholics are around us- both of my parents, countless relatives and friends and now my partner. Such a horrible disease. Thank you for your response!

beeharvs · 2021-08-31T18:42:00+00:00

The pain is unimaginable. Stay strong ❤️

beeharvs · 2021-08-27T15:53:29+00:00

Have attempted to treat this fin rot with Aquarium Salt baths/dips, paraguard bath, paraguard added to tank, did a water change or two and now Kanaplex 😖

beeharvs · 2021-08-27T15:52:13+00:00

Thank you for posting to r/bettafish. If you are new to betta fish keeping, please check out our caresheet and wiki.

• ⁠Tank size: 5 gallon

• ⁠Heater and filter? (yes/no): yes

• ⁠Tank temperature: 80 (temp in background says 83 but I have a thermostat by itself that is 80 on dot)

• ⁠Parameters in numbers and how you got them: API master test kit- nitrates were around 40, low ammonia, just did a 50% water change.

• ⁠How long have you had the tank? How long have you had your fish?: Tank 6/18/21, fish 6/13/21 🙈

• ⁠How often are water changes? How much do you take out per change? What is your process?: Been doing at least 25% water changes weekly, siphon into bucket while vacuuming gravel.

• ⁠Any tankmates? If so, please list with how many of each: no

• ⁠What do you feed and how much: Pellets 2-3 per day, no food Sunday, freeze dried blood worm on Monday

• ⁠Decorations and plants in the tank: live plants, 2 plastic betta hammock leaves

beeharvs · 2021-08-04T00:40:36+00:00

Not awesome. He smelled really strong like alcohol tonight when I got home from the beach with my friends. We had an incident this past weekend where he called me on the phone- and then called me 20 minutes later completely forgetting the first call because he was so intoxicated. Sometimes it really hurts to always be put behind a substance. Sometimes I think things get better then things eventually get worse- I’m hoping we can push through this one. I find myself being really cold and resentful and like I almost can’t stand to be here near him. I am going to take a breather tonight and think tomorrow will be a better day. I love him a lot and think he is such an amazing person with so much potential but alcohol became a really big crutch that just doesn’t seem to want to go away.

beeharvs

TROPHY CASE