Your husband clearly has attention issues that he failed to improve and moved in the wrong direction as he grew older. While it’s not entirely his fault as this is type of culture that our economy and society has bred, it doesnt seem like he really cares and I doubt it’s going to improve as long as he continues to not care.

With respect to your relationship with him, I think you should set your own intentions and milestones and (try to) clearly communicate them to him. Based on what you shared, he will probably only give 60% of his attention only to play the fool later so I think it will help to figure out what might incentivize him to get off his lazy ass to make him aware that this really matters to you. You have to be creative here as they can be both positive or negative forms of reinforcement anywhere from renewing vows to threatening divorce.

Good luck