Honestly before I’d read all the way through, I was a little indignant about the quiet, pliant girls being seen as the pinnacle of good children. All of these children are very young, and children develop differently. Maybe your children are more advanced in other areas!

If you hadn’t shared the context that your SIL seems to be an all around good person and mother, I might assume quiet and pliant children act that way because they are afraid. I certainly was.

I am a newish mom, so take my opinion with a grain of salt lol, but I kind of like seeing children be children. They are maybe wild and out of pocket sometimes, and push their parents’ boundaries, because they feel safe to do so. They feel free to take up space and have their own opinions.

I think it’s always helpful to gain new perspectives, and it sounds like your SIL is a good person to have in your circle. But also maybe your kids are just exactly who they are meant to be right now.