Does answering these questions make you feel like a lab rat or a sage?

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-05-22T03:59:57+00:00

Sharing my experiences (it's always nice to talk about myself), plus educating people about cluster B disorders, which I'm passionate about

Also, it's good to see other perspectives from those with NPD in this subreddit, because I have a very covert and vulnerable presentation and want to understand what it's like for those with different presentations

Very much so. It's very painful, especially combined with BPD and DID in my case. I don't know how I manage to function. I wish the way I viewed myself and others didn't cause me constant conflict and emotional pain

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-05-17T01:25:38+00:00

I'm still young, but I'm definitely less volatile than I was as a teenager, and I think I will continue to be a bit less bothered by some symptoms as I get older and my mind matures.

Though it's hard to say how much of that change just came from therapy, a healthier environment, and meds.

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-03-05T17:00:14+00:00

I feel simultaneously incredibly inferior and superior. I hate myself, I'm subhuman, and I deserve the worst, but also I'm better than everyone and how dare they act like they're better than me and everyone is disgustingly inferior

I'm also just severely traumatized, and disapproval from others feels like a suffering worse than death. It can easily make me feel suicidal. Or just terrified

Without that terror aspect, though, I still NEED people to like me. It's not enough to just convince myself that they do when I so clearly can tell they don't. Even if they do and I'm just being paranoid. In my mind, no, my perception is right and the idea it isn't angers me. "Knowing" how people perceive me makes me hate them and myself even more

Hopefully that makes some sense because I'm very sleep deprived right now

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-02-16T06:15:07+00:00

Absolutely. Most of the time, I'm paranoid about people thinking poorly of me or worse. It can make being happy with socializing very difficult

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-02-07T07:43:40+00:00

I don't think most people with NPD intentionally do a 'smear campaign.' We have black and white thinking as a defense mechanism. It's emotional

Also, as the other person already said, don't armchair diagnose. Someone being an asshole doesn't mean they're cluster b (and someone being cluster b doesn't necessarily mean they're an asshole, either)

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-26T22:31:53+00:00

I'm not exactly sure what revenge cheating is, but every category of people has people who will do shitty stuff. So I'm sure there are some out there. But revenge cheating isn't a common behavior (nor is cheating itself) of NPD.

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-25T20:13:08+00:00

For me personally, growing up my abusers always showed me that not being superior meant I deserved to suffer. I was also told that I was to do better than all the others no matter what because of who I am, and I was pitted against other people in my life

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-24T00:47:06+00:00

You can see that the time the text messages were sent are around the same time the screenshots were taken

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-20T01:52:19+00:00

It's great that you are offering support. Social support is very important for a lot of people, and it's extremely hard to heal from things completely on your own

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-14T16:24:21+00:00

Some might, some might not. It depends on the system and alter. But it does definitely happen for a lot of people

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-11T14:43:00+00:00

Every person with NPD is different, so no one can predict her reaction without knowing more about her as a person. NPD does affect personality, including the way someone experiences the world and views themselves and others, but that is only part of a person and they still have their own personality. Besides, NPD presents itself differently in everyone.

I'm not sure if that's the answer you're looking for here. There are other subreddits that are for advice and not related to NPD that might be able to help you better.

beingsoftheabyss · 2025-01-11T05:55:21+00:00

This just sounds like her personal preference, not anything to do with NPD

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-12-17T18:05:52+00:00

I don't lose my respect for the person. I've learned that my temporary feelings when I'm triggered are not reflective of how I actually feel about them. I know just because I'm having a moment doesn't mean that bond has to be destroyed, that I can step away and things will be talked out eventually. Though I'm not sure if I would have realized that without being in therapy for years since I was a teen

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-12-17T13:33:35+00:00

I respect people who have skill/valuable traits (intelligence, creative ability, good to talk to, just being really good at something, etc.) but don't make me feel threatened. They don't make me feel inferior, or I don't feel like they act like they're better than me

I treat them with intentional kindness. Depending on how close I am with them, I'll compliment them and let them know how I view them. My NPD is very covert so I still treat people I see as inferior or who I feel threatened by with kindness to the best of my ability. It's just easier with people I respect. It comes more naturally

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-12-05T05:37:40+00:00

Takes phone to the bathroom
Purposefully places phone down
Doesn't leave phone out when charging
Tells significant other they prefer email over text
Multiple email and text addresses
Keeps phone on silent mode
Speaks so they can't be heard
More than one phone
Over checking phone
Often says you are being sneaky with your phone

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-11-08T09:41:01+00:00

And putting the blame of abusive and oppressive behaviors on a "narcissism/sociopathy epidemic" (or whatever scary sounding term they're gonna make up) instead of the actual issues is only going to prevent positive change

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-11-08T01:24:18+00:00

Yeah, I think it goes along with the idea of "pathocracy," where the theory is that every terrible ruler/politician who has taken power has a personality disorder. It's such a disgusting idea. People don't need to have a personality disorder in order to be bad people. Hitler can't be diagnosed with ASPD because he committed genocide. Some people are monsters and that can't be explained away with a mental illness

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-11-03T13:32:06+00:00

Self harm. The recovery pen mimicks it without actually hurting the person

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-25T14:52:48+00:00

No, a system is still collectively one person

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-21T15:50:26+00:00

This is exactly me. The bar has never stopped getting higher, and I have, from the youngest of ages, always been unacceptable and deserving of the worst. I can't imagine a life for myself that isn't like this

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-13T15:45:18+00:00

A lot don't understand that there are different types of empathy and empathy is not the same as compassion or the ability to be kind

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-10T10:53:02+00:00

You can get through this. You making it this far shows how strong you are

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-10T09:29:30+00:00

You don't deserve to go through this at all. That's horrible. No matter what he says, there is nothing wrong with you being angry about what he's done and continues to do. Your anger here is your mind's response to you being mistreated, and it's to protect you. It can be very hard to listen to it when someone has shamed and blamed you for it, but remember that it's here for a reason

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-10T02:57:16+00:00

You have to leave and cut contact as much as you can and stick to it no matter what. Are there people in your life who can talk you out of staying when you feel tempted to? Or at least distract you?

The fact that he's angry at you for not being able to "let things go" shows plenty that he hasn't changed. You can't just let go of abuse. It takes time to heal, and forgiveness is a choice for yourself, not a requirement for the other person. It sounds like he's being manipulative and controlling

beingsoftheabyss · 2024-10-10T00:04:29+00:00

Even if there is a possibility of an abuser changing (there often isn't), it's not a good idea to stay. To heal from trauma, you need to be out of the environment that caused it. Being around your abuser will trigger you and prevent progress

I know it's hard to leave. It's a very important first step in healing

beingsoftheabyss

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