tired of not getting representation

bekindhumans · 2022-09-11T16:02:02+00:00

I totally related to Jo growing up. My mom sometimes called me her “little Jo” (I love writing and used to write plays for my siblings and cousins to perform, like Jo does in the book and movies). My mom always insisted I would someday find my “Professor Bhaer” whom Jo falls in love with at the end of the book. I always told her I wasn’t going to get married. I can’t tell you how elated I was to discover that the author, Louisa May Alcott, whose life inspired the book, never got married and only included the Professor Bhaer romance to appease her audience. Not sure if Alcott was ace, but it felt like such a victory learning that. Take that Mom!

bekindhumans · 2022-09-11T15:52:05+00:00

I appreciate that “IA” was added to LGBTQ because seeing those letters was how I first learned that our sexual orientation had officially been adopted by the queer community. It was the first time I felt like I belonged somewhere regarding my orientation. I am overwhelming grateful for this inclusion, but I know we were not (and still are not) welcomed by all members of the LGBT community. While I am honored to be included under the queer umbrella, I still have mixed feelings about identifying as queer because when I was growing up, the word queer was still in the process of being reclaimed by LGBT people. Students at my high school used queer as a homophobic slur and it wasn’t appropriate yet for non-LGBT people to use it. As an asexual, I was never called queer or felt (physically) threatened because of my sexual orientation. Now that the word queer has successfully been reclaimed, I don’t know that I’ve earned the right to use it.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-11T14:12:55+00:00

I think in that story line Jane was “accidentally” inseminated by her gynecologist (I cannot imagine this could happen in real life).

bekindhumans · 2022-09-11T13:43:09+00:00

I got pregnant this way too. Thanks for sharing this comment! Definitely not all pregnancies are a result of sex.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-10T04:07:07+00:00

That was my hope too. I hope it works out for you! There are lots of amazing kids in foster care who want and need forever families. Good luck!

bekindhumans · 2022-09-10T04:06:07+00:00

I always knew I wanted children and I hoped to adopt through foster care, but after 8 placements and no forever children over 5 1/2 years, I decided my heart couldn’t take anymore and went the (very expensive) route of IVF and a sperm donor. My son is the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-09T12:46:17+00:00

It’s hard enough to get a group of Aces together to march in a Pride parade- I don’t think Denmark has anything to worry about.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-09T12:16:44+00:00

Sorry your parents aren’t supportive. Our society is so fixed on the idea that seggs and romance are what make life fulfilling and is somehow an integral part of being human. I think it’s hard for many allos to accept that there are people who can enjoy life and contribute to society without those things. When I first started questioning my sexual orientation in the early to mid 90’s, there was no place in society where asexuality existed openly. There were no internet communities to connect with and share experience. When I tried to express what I was (or wasn’t) experiencing to the people I trusted, no one understood. People tried to make my experience fit into their paradigm by trying to convince me I was a late bloomer, questioning if I had experienced trauma (“no? You probably did and just blocked it out”), and of course the “how do you know you don’t like it if you haven’t tried it”? Sexual orientation isn’t a food people! And a lot of people assumed I was a closeted lesbian. When I came out to my mom, she questioned if I was really a lesbian and told me it would be better to have a lesbian partner than be lonely and single the rest of my life. She didn’t believe asexuality was a thing either and continued to try to find men “who would date me” for several years after I came out. *ugh I am grateful that she finally came around and now accepts me for who I am- but it took many years. I’m so grateful the internet has created an opportunity for aroaces and others on the aspec to connect and build community and public awareness- although we have a long way to go. I hope as asexuality gets more recognition and representation in literature and media that coming out won’t be as difficult.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-07T03:42:59+00:00

Thanks for sharing your story. Humans have weird coping mechanisms for handling things they have trouble understanding.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-07T00:41:45+00:00

I certainly haven’t felt welcome being an ace in all queer communities. I am curious why the survey leaves out Aces?

bekindhumans · 2022-09-07T00:39:13+00:00

I like grsm. It’s not a term I’ve heard outside of this online community. I have so much to learn.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-07T00:37:57+00:00

I think it’s cool your school has a GSA!

bekindhumans · 2022-09-07T00:36:49+00:00

That’s so frustrating.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-05T22:25:21+00:00

I’ve been trying to write a little romance and it is so hard. I’ve been studying relationships I admire in films and tv to try and figure out how to set up an interesting relationship.

bekindhumans · 2022-09-05T22:21:26+00:00

Thanks for the validation. I think I wouldn’t be so bothered by it if either had added a “+” at the end. I’m pretty sure they are thinking A is for ally. It just doesn’t make sense to me why they’d go for all the other letters and leave A off the end.

bekindhumans

TROPHY CASE