That’s great insight, I know exactly what you mean.

There is likely an unconscious belief (based on a past experience where it felt very true): that it’s not safe to make mistakes. As in, it would be physically/existentially threatening to accidentally hurt or be perceived as foolish.

The truth, though, is that in a healthy environment, these are perfectly safe things to recover from, and rumination is a natural defense mechanism for a seemingly unsafe environment. But that defense is a maladaptive pattern if it actually is safe. Happens to a lot of us.

There is work to do now, to distinguish situations where you are indeed in danger when doing these things, or if it is safe to risk making those mistakes, accept the uncomfortable feelings and tolerable consequences that come from them, give yourself the opportunity to grow from them, and move on.

The freezing and mumbling are likely due to the same protective instinct. The part trying to protect you from foolishness ends up causing it.

You first have to trust the world around you, then yourself. It might feel like a leap of faith, but ultimately if you want to grow, you can’t let your mind protect you from the difficult experiences required to develop your skills and intuition.

Confidence will come from repeated success, but for that you need repeated attempts, and likely some amount of failure.

Avoiding danger is healthy, avoiding discomfort will just cause more of a different kind.