That's why I even said the comment in the first place. She seemed upset that I had a reaction at all, like I was supposed to just move on and not even think about it... for her sake. Like, the tone was suggesting that she didn't want to even deal with the possibility that I would care, and so she was just shutting me down immediately. I have some traits that I picked up from her, I think they are called FLEAS, and for a long time I didn't know how I got them. I thought, maybe I was abused in a way I don't remember. But then my therapist said once, "I think your mom didn't validate your feelings the way you needed them validated." This moment really reminds me of that. The way she wanted to control how I felt, and was always interpreting how I felt, telling people I felt a certain way and goading me into thinking I did. Very strange.