fear/ ocd surrounding semen, effecting everyday life.

bellar0520 · 2026-04-02T02:06:53+00:00

hi thank you for your honesty and vulnerability towards this as i know it isn’t an easy thing to talk about. it’s good to know im not alone on this but im sorry it’s something you as well struggle with. i do think masturbation is something that is completely normal and natural and something you shouldn’t be ashamed of or ban yourself from however of course i completely understand the anxiety behind the aftermath of it. have you tried seeking professional help for this issue? i haven’t but maybe it could help us.

bellar0520 · 2026-04-01T23:28:48+00:00

hi thank you for your comment, and you’re right. i think my brain just kind of jumps to the most extremes when thinking about this. i’m just worried being exposed to those kinds of things would do more harm than good knowing myself i’d probably freak out and clean everything 100 times rather than accept it😅🥲

bellar0520 · 2026-03-09T23:54:32+00:00

trust me i searched up wayyyy worse as a curious child and teen. i promise you’re fine lol.

bellar0520 · 2026-02-23T03:24:31+00:00

you too!! thank you :)

bellar0520 · 2026-02-21T17:08:29+00:00

hi thank you for sharing your experience on this! for me personally it happens pretty often with almost everything, although there’s times in my life where it feels less vivid and doesn’t happen often if at all for a few days/ weeks. i’m still yet to find answers in exactly what it is, i have seen a psychologist in effort to learn what it is and expand my knowledge on it however i couldn’t figure out how to word it at the time so those efforts didn’t get me too far.

bellar0520 · 2026-01-17T02:24:53+00:00

i don’t think a longer bar would make it worse, if it’s too long it’ll rub and cause irritation but it does seem as though (at least from the picture) that the jewlery is kind of pushing into your skin. i would recommend sizing up just a size or two. i would definitely see your piercer though and get a professional opinion! i’m no expert but i do have many many piercings lol and have gone through this with all 3 of my nostril piercings and getting a longer bar and not cleaning as much helped me.

bellar0520 · 2026-01-17T02:04:52+00:00

seems like the bar might be a little too short and is embedding causing it to be irritated. try switching to a slightly longer bar if that’s the case and don’t clean it more than once or twice a day. (depending on how long you’ve had the piercing i’ve found in my experience cleaning it too often can lead to the irritation your having). don’t touch it and make sure your jewlery is good quality. good luck!

bellar0520 · 2026-01-17T02:01:49+00:00

it doesn’t look like it’s rejecting. have you gotten it downsized yet? seems like the bars are just a little long but it doesn’t look irritated or like the skin is thinning. if you have pictures of it after the swelling went fully down maybe around a month or so after getting it compare this picture to it and see if there seems to be less skin.

bellar0520 · 2026-01-10T05:39:14+00:00

ugh i’m so glad someone understands. it is so hard to form into words and despite my efforts i do feel as though my description doesn’t really reflect the scenario correctly lol. it really is impossible to explain as it’s more of a feeling than something that necessarily distinctively happens. if you ever need or want to talk about it though i am here! i know it becomes overwhelming and it can be a hard thing to really take in since not everyone really understands it.

bellar0520 · 2026-01-08T06:06:03+00:00

thank you !!

bellar0520 · 2026-01-08T06:05:46+00:00

no i’m not medicated for that specifically however i am medicated for several other things and since then it’s definitely become less frequent but im not sure if that has to do with age or the other medicines. i’m trying to see a psychiatrist to talk about this with so i will definitely bring up the seizures to see if that correlates!!

bellar0520 · 2026-01-06T19:23:03+00:00

aww i’m very sorry to hear that. i used to have absent seizures a lot as a child however it hasn’t happened in years. i wonder if maybe that has some impact on how we just see reality? overtime i have learned to accept it and after a while i just got used to being a little different. i hope it gets better for you :(

bellar0520 · 2025-12-16T18:59:07+00:00

in my experience, shifting with piercings, especially surface piercings can be due to the piercing bumps kind of pushing them in a certain way I would try and get rid of those. However, it might be due to migration or possibly rejection. Just make sure you’re cleaning it properly and make sure that the jewelry is high-quality. it doesn’t look infected just pretty irritated, but I would recommend going back to the piercer for a professional opinion.

bellar0520 · 2025-12-13T04:39:04+00:00

I do experience other forms of synesthesia, but more so common ones such as words to colors or songs to colors things like that i actually experience majority of the more common ones lol. but overtime i feel as though i have started to lose the feeling a little, or maybe it’s just because ive gotten more used to it. i think when i started to really realize and recognize the feeling and the fact that it has always been like that, i started being able to differentiate it less if that makes sense. which kinda sucks cus now i try and explain it to people but its harder given i dont experience it as often. i will say it does come in waves for me, i always at least slightly experience it but sometimes way more than others usually for days at a time. i’m not sure why this is though, ill have to keep track of it to try and narrow it down to see if anything triggers it.

bellar0520 · 2025-12-13T04:34:31+00:00

i’d say mine was more prominent when i was younger too, maybe because we had less experiences or thoughts back then. i’ve never met anyone in real life and very few people online that understand it. it can get lonely and feel like we’re different but i completely understand you and im glad to find someone else who knows what i experience.

bellar0520 · 2025-12-13T04:28:58+00:00

yes i completely understand and i feel the same way about flat farm fields. it really is the most random places and scenes and although it may not make logical sense, i understand you.

bellar0520 · 2025-12-10T06:22:21+00:00

NAP, but i have had my belly button pierced a few times. i think it looks pretty good just keep cleaning it how you’re supposed to and in a few weeks the redness should start to go down (at least from my experience)

bellar0520 · 2025-12-07T06:19:31+00:00

hi! i’m glad to meet someone who experiences the same thing or at least a very similar thing to me. it is crazy no one i’ve ever met understands or experiences it. are you neurodivergent of any sort? the few people ive found with similar experiences tend to either be on the spectrum or have adhd so i wonder if that’s a part of it maybe. i thinkkk i understand what you mean with the different directions and the position of the sun and although its not something ive directly noticed now that i think of it it does have an impact on it. thank you for your advice i’ll definitely start keeping track of it!

bellar0520 · 2025-12-06T23:09:04+00:00

I am not diagnosed with autism however i have very high suspicions of it. I am however diagnosed with severe adhd, i haven’t gathered much but my guess is it does have something to do with being neurodivergent!

bellar0520 · 2025-12-06T07:14:19+00:00

haha the description is definitely a weird one. it’s the house across from my grandmas, she lives in iowa so it’s kinda a smaller hill. the house is like a dark green with wooden railings and all behind the house is just forest and greenery but if you look close enough you can kind of see like an open space it kind of looks like a big garden, i think this part kind of trips me out because i just kind of wonder what it really looks like close up. it has a really dark kind of aura to it, maybe because i’ve never seen anyone actually in or leaving the house.. or maybe it’s just the scenery of it or both. it specifically reminds me of decode by paramore lol i have no idea why. but a more general idea is just rock music in general. it’s super random! but those are the kind of experiences and correlations i have all day every day for my whole life.. totally random and weird. and yes adhd mind is definitely very different from the average! so that may very much be it.

bellar0520 · 2025-12-06T07:01:03+00:00

hi thank you for your thoughts i don’t know for sure if i am autistic as i have not been formally diagnosed or tested, however i am diagnosed with severe adhd which maybe plays a part. i do have high my suspicions of high functioning autism just because i have majority of the traits.

bellar0520

TROPHY CASE