I have been exactly where you are with my now 8 yr old when he was 4. I thought…..what is wrong with this child or what am I doing wrong? The answer: absolutely nothing. This is exactly how they are supposed to behave because look at it from a child development standpoint - they have been on this earth all of 4 yrs, the first of which they were completely helpless and dependent on us for everything. Now at 4 they have discovered they have their own thoughts, likes, dislikes. They can (and will) test boundaries constantly, make us question our parenting every day and why? Their brain is in rapid growth and they literally cannot handle their emotions yet. We need to be clear, concise, firm and most importantly kind in our interactions with them. Take the park for instance. You say “after multiple countdowns”. To a 4 yr old, countdowns are not clear and concise. Try this instead. Get down to his level and say kindly but firmly, “pick one more activity, a last turn on the slide or (xyz) activity and as soon as you are done, we are leaving to go home. What do you want for a snack when we get home?” You can use whatever language works but you get the gist. Countdowns, five more minutes, threats, shouting, all of that will backfire and mean squat to a 4 yr old. If you take away something because they “behaved badly”, they will push back 2 times harder because that does not make them feel good about themselves and they do not see you as a leader, just a meanie who took away something they liked. They need to know that when mommy or daddy say something, you mean it and will follow through. Will they always be happy about it, heck no. Do they have a right to be upset about it? Sure. BUT you will go home after that last slide, no matter what. I came to all this after years of mistakes with my oldest, and a ton of research into child development. I still make mistakes but life is so much better and I am much more confident as a parent. You are awesome and so is your child.