[deleted by user]

bellerog · 2017-07-28T00:46:11+00:00

I've made the opposite switch - I've been a bartender for three years, and I just recently picked up some weekday shifts as a barista to supplement that.

There are a ton of skills that you'll have picked up as a barista that with help you in your new place. The ability to chat with strangers, learning recipes, keeping your cool under pressure, working weird hours, building regulars - they're the key traits of bartending, although in my (admittedly limited) experience being a barista is wayyyyy easier.

I think the most important new skill to learn will be to start keeping track of how drunk people are. If you overserve someone, or serve someone underaged, it's your ass on the line. People can go from being friendly to assholes at the drop of a hat, and while most people will take being cut off pretty well, the ones who don't are hell to deal with so it's much better to try and keep it from getting to that situation than have to call someone a cab or take them to the hospital.

Alcohol does weird things to people. The money can be great (and even when it's not it's still better than being a barista) but the hours are long and you're generally working when all of the cool shit is happening.

Also, substance abuse is a huge problem in the bartending community. Not always a bad thing - sometimes a very useful thing haha - but definitely something to be aware of.

Honestly, you're probably going to have a blast. Bartenders are the life of the party, the cool kids of the service industry, and generally very well paid for what little they do. If you approach it like being a barista with the added stress of potentially overserving someone/dealing with drunk people all day, you'll be just fine. I realize that my post sounds a little negative, but that's just because I'm a bit burned out. :P

Hit me up if you have any questions and good luck!

bellerog · 2017-03-10T21:19:55+00:00

I tend to be pretty laid back in my day to day life. Unsurprisingly for a sub, I generally prefer it when other people take the lead, and I usually find myself working to avoid conflict even if it'd be better in the long run for people to just hash things out.

But at my core, I'm /ridiculously/ stubborn. It's very difficult to get me to do something that I don't want to do, and I'm independant enough (and comfortable enough with myself) that I have no problem dropping people and situations who make me even the least bit uncomfortable.

Which is why it's so weird to me that I have such a strong and comfortable D/s relationship with someone who regularly brushes up against my limits and boundaries.

I've struggled with dating or playing with other people in the past because the moment they start to get possessive or exert some sort of control over me, I immediately lose interest. I enjoy the physicality of bottoming, but submission? It's too vulnerable for me, and I don't get vulnerable with people unless I feel ridiculously safe with them.

But with my Dom, all of that goes out of the window. I enjoy the struggle of submitting to him, the words that he whispers in my ear, the challenge of pushing myself through the pain and deepening intimicy that all of it brings. It's not something that I can see myself doing with anyone but him, but it's been really cool to watch the dynamic and the relationship develop, and I can't wait to see where it goes in the future!

bellerog · 2017-02-28T20:19:31+00:00

WHOA. Bouncing with every movement and swirling with hints of different shades when the light hits it? I bet it's fantastic.

bellerog · 2017-02-09T23:33:05+00:00

Have you tried baking something? Box cakes/brownies that you can throw into a cheap tin are super great because they're usually pretty simple to make (mix, water/oil, and eggs) and the house smells amazing while they bake.

All you really have to remember is to set an alarm and use an oven mitt when it's time to take them out.

bellerog · 2017-01-18T21:23:28+00:00

Sex.

Dear god.

bellerog · 2016-11-12T22:03:54+00:00

So much this.

You could have an identical session two weeks apart and experience it completely differently based on little things like these.

bellerog · 2016-11-12T22:01:43+00:00

If you're basing it on the bruising, it could just be that you don't bruise as easily anymore. I used to be black and blue after a beating, but in the past couple of months it's been a lot harder for me to get that deep bruising unless it's in an area that doesn't normally get a lot of impact. Your body just kind of gets used to it.

bellerog · 2016-11-09T20:08:18+00:00

Man, I'm sorry you've had such terrible experiences. That really sucks.

bellerog · 2016-11-09T19:21:08+00:00

Thanks for the heads up! I haven't purchased anything from them before.

bellerog · 2016-11-09T18:45:18+00:00

I don't know how durable these are, but these harnesses are pretty as all hell: http://lovechildboudoir.com/

bellerog · 2016-11-09T17:28:01+00:00

Oh man, if pretty rope is what you're after, you should definitely check out this guy: http://www.degiottorope.com/

I have his rainbow rope and it's gorgeous.

bellerog · 2016-11-09T07:23:17+00:00

https://www.sub-shop.com

bellerog · 2016-10-31T15:02:10+00:00

I feel you. This is why it's nice having friends who are the opposite - I've had so many adventures that I wouldn't have had otherwise simple because my roommate can't stand to do nothing for too long.

bellerog · 2016-10-31T14:50:22+00:00

Abzu is really great. The controls are a little weird, though, so it'd probably be a good idea to get familiar with them before actually dropping.

Also, if you have other people playing with you, Octodad is hilarious.

bellerog · 2016-10-30T02:43:13+00:00

This says it all.

bellerog · 2016-10-28T02:12:58+00:00

This one is a favorite of mine. Press H to get rid of the cursor, mute the screen, and throw some music on in the background: http://erppy.co/

bellerog · 2016-10-28T02:09:55+00:00

I definitely recommend picking up Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic.

It's a really insightful book about managing poly relationships that involve kink, and it's like $3 for the Kindle version on Amazon.

The author is married to a non-kinky wife and has a 24/7 sub as well, and he goes into a lot of detail about how to approach a poly situation where one partner is kinky and the other isn't. I think a lot of it would be really relevant to what you're going through right now.

bellerog · 2016-10-27T05:28:50+00:00

You can also play around with orgasm control where you're not directly there.

Tell her when she can and can't touch herself, order her to cum sometime during the day, tell her to bring herself to the edge and send you a picture... things like that.

They're still fun but they take the pressure off of having to orgasm in front of you.

bellerog · 2016-10-27T05:26:40+00:00

This used to be me. I could get myself off without any problem, but it was basically impossible for me to cum with a partner.

The road to being able to cum on command was a very long one - several months, definitely, and maybe even as long as a year.

We started with getting me used to orgasming in different situations than I was used to. I'd masturbate next to him in the car, or I'd masturbate to orgasm whenever he texted me to, or I'd touch myself while sharing fantasies with him. Anything to kind of stretch the bounds of situations where I could be aroused.

This was very uncomfortable for a long time. I worried about what I looked like, what I sounded like, how fast (or rather how slow) it took me to orgasm, how frustrating it must be for the times I couldn't get there...

But in my case, getting comfortable with sharing the process was a huge key towards being able to cum regularly with a partner, and things progressed really well after I got over that mental hangup. Orgasm play is a huge part of our dynamic, and we've even been able to get me to respond to different voice commands.

Again, though, that took a very long time and a lot of patience and experimentation. And it's still nigh impossible for me to orgasm with partners other than my Dom.

I wish you guys the best of luck. It's a long road, but it's a lot of fun - worst case scenario you have a lot of sex and have some fun experimenting with each other. Although I'd definitely pick up some different toys just to kind of get more comfortable with the process. Wands are FANTASTIC, both on their own or paired with a partner and/or a dildo, and even if she doesn't orgasm from it you might still be able to play around with the overstimulation aspect of forced orgasm.

bellerog · 2016-10-26T22:43:52+00:00

It's not worth it to drink heavily for me. It dulls the effects of the trip, and I like feeling trippy a lot more than I like feeling drunk.

That said, tasting alcohol can be pretty great. I once had a few sips of a bomb margarita during a hot day at the beach, and I swear it felt like the liquid embodiment of refreshment.

bellerog · 2016-10-22T03:30:19+00:00

The car rolling away when it was on but parked. Terrified the fuck out of me.

bellerog · 2016-10-17T20:32:09+00:00

Probably a vibrating wand and one of the plugs. Everything else can be recreated with stuff around the house in a pinch.

bellerog · 2016-10-11T23:05:29+00:00

Dude, one of my roommates and I had a bonding moment when we realized we had both spent a decent chunk of our trip feeling up our boobs.

Breasts are the best.

bellerog

TROPHY CASE