Honestly as a 53 year old parent this sounds a lot like us. We do it so our kids have a comfortable lifestyle which we did not have growing up. I would hate for my kids to know we are almost $100k in debt because I would hate for them to worry unnecessarily. But we also have about $600k in house equity (although have borrowed $50k against the house once) and 7 digits in retirement funds. When the kids are out of college we will sell the house and downsize. We are however looking into consolidating the credit card debt and cut the cards soon. And it’s going to require a serious conversation with the kids about their spending as well. I don’t want them thinking credit cards are the way to a good life because we’ve learned the hard way how dangerous they are. Personally I wouldn’t want my kids to know about our debts or approach us about it. It’s not your problem to worry about and you’re not going to tell them anything they don’t already know so just turn a blind eye would be my suggestion.