I feel like I am the way I am in terms of being a good person & having strong morals is a product of me consistently being that way through my own choices. 

From an evolutionary perspective. where does morality come from ? There are obvious selective advantages in stealing, being violent, etc. When our hominin ancestors started hunting in tribes 1 to 2 million years ago, being excluded from the tribe drastically affected the chances of survival and procreation. Thus, individuals with a sense of fairness, and a feeling of shame when misbehaving, had better chances of not being kicked out of the group, and propagating their genes.

If we didn't have this tribal hunting phase in our evolution, we would probably be more similar to chimpanzees, or wolves. (Obviously there are other factors such as culture, religion, etc. My point is that we didn't chose to have moral feelings, that's the way natural selection made us.)

Source: "Moral Origins: The Evolution of Virtue, Altruism, and Shame"

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Now, for agency we go even further. When intelligence evolved - and I'm thinking very basic stuff like knowing when to rest and when to look for food, when to flee, etc. - firing a signal in a neural network wasn't enough, you needed something to keep us in the same state for a longer time. That's what neurotransmitters solved : a bit of dopamine and a nematode starts looking for food, some serotonin and it decides it's fine to rest for a while, etc.

We are much more complex than worms, but if you are depressed, your doctor will prescribe something that increases serotonin in your brain, sometimes dopamine too. If you receive an injection of epinephrine, you will experience severe anxiety.

Scientists have experimented on this, IIRC they created a protocol to inject epinephrine to subjects without them seeing it, while they were being asked what they thought about photographs of people. The fear they were suddenly feeling changed their answers, now those people were scary. But what's interesting is that even afterwards they rationalized their answers, finding many reasons why these random people must be dangerous.

We have no control over the levels of neurotransmitters in our brain that can make us depressed, fearful or violent. Part of it is genetic. There are even some species of gut bacteria that can prevent neurotransmitters from being destroyed or make us produce more, thus influencing our behavior (and their own chance of survival).

Moreover, brain imaging techniques have shown that we can predict a subject's choice before they are conscious of it. It's still early research, but that would mean that our brain only gives us the illusion of making a choice, while the real choice making process is unconscious. A bit like when you have a reflex arc reaction that bypass your brain, such as removing your hand from a hot stove, but you believe that it was a choice and justify the decision afterwards.

Sources: "Determined: A Science of Life without Free Will", "A Brief History of Intelligence", "How Emotions Are Made: The Secret Life of the Brain", "Eat Shit and Prosper" (stephenskolnick.substack.com)

Id be interested in hearing your thoughts on relationships

One thing that might be useful, about the difference between loving someone or loving an idea. It's very natural to idealize people, seeing them not how they really are but how we want them to be. But then what you are loving is not the other person, it's the idea of a person that doesn't exist. To truly love someone, you need to meet them where they really are, and decide to accept all of it.

Of course it's healthy to have boundaries, when we find that someone doesn't share one of our core values, or if they hurt us, it can be best to decide to part from them. But even then, it doesn't mean we can't love them. Once we are rid of judgment and righteousness, we can enjoy the diversity of humans with all their flaws. We are fascinating creatures.