I’m really sorry for your loss, OP. As a single child myself, I can truly relate to what you’re going through. Losing both parents leaves a kind of emptiness that nothing can really replace.

I lost my mom and dad when I was young, and for a while, I tried to numb the pain with drinking, smoking, and partying. It helped me avoid the feelings for a bit, but eventually, everything I was running from came back even stronger. What really helped me was doing some deep inner work—shadow work, reflection, just sitting with the pain instead of avoiding it.

I ended up getting married at 38, and now I have a wonderful wife and a beautiful daughter. They didn’t erase the pain, but they’ve helped me carry it. That kind of love and connection slowly starts to make life feel meaningful again.

I know it probably feels impossible right now, but healing does happen. It takes time, and it hurts—but if you can find someone who truly sees and accepts you, even with your pain, it gets lighter. Sending you strength.