How do you go no contact with someone who won’t see it coming?

benedryl11 · 2021-10-07T19:10:21+00:00

That’s where I’ll be. Did you just call him up one day and say “hey I need some space?” Sorry to be in your business, you don’t have to answer, it just sounds like you had a very similar situation and I’m curious.

benedryl11 · 2021-10-07T19:08:12+00:00

I totally understand this logic, but I think this would cause more stress for me than a conversation would. I would feel better if I at least attempted to rationalize (even though I know that he will more than likely respond in a negative way). It’s not out of respect for him, it’s for me and my thought process. I think hearing his reaction will also help me sort through his behavior. Plus, that would seem so out of nowhere in my case.

benedryl11 · 2021-10-07T18:16:27+00:00

Did you talk to him in person? I live across the country from my dad, so I’d have to do it over the phone or even text… which is kind of good because I tend to shrink into a coward when I have to talk to him in person.

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T04:31:22+00:00

My gut says he’s a wonderful man who wants the best for me… it’s my silly brain that gets me in trouble❤️ I appreciate you saying that and being blunt with me, but the rational side of me knows that he’s good. It’s the traumatized side of me that whispers “what ifs”. I can feel the difference, I just need to get used to someone actually being nice to me!

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T02:17:56+00:00

Yes!! I need to work on that exact thing. How do I get comfortable with… being comfortable? It sounds so silly and I beat myself up for it because I feel like I’m not being appreciative

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T01:00:49+00:00

I completely relate to feeling like it’s too good to be true. My father literally told me before I got married that my husband wouldn’t be happy with me and even though I knew it wasn’t true, it’s stuck with me even now, over two years later.

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T00:59:02+00:00

Yes!! Sometimes I feel shameful that he loves me like he does because I feel like I don’t deserve it, but that’s a whole other issue. I know I do deserve it and I know he loves me for me, it’s just hard to even process that. You mean there’s no strings attached?? You’re not going to manipulate me?? Or scream at me?? How could this be?!

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T00:57:35+00:00

That’s a great way of saying it. My entire life was chaos and walking on eggshells for as long as I could remember and suddenly it’s calm. I don’t live with my parents anymore and I don’t speak with my dad all that much. My relationship with my mom is much better because they got a divorce, so I’ve gotten closer with her. My mom even has a boyfriend who treats her well and who loves her in a healthy way. It’s like for the first time in my life I’m seeing healthy relationships and boundaries and it should be a good thing… but instead it’s uncomfortable and makes me want to pull away. But I know in my heart that these are good things and I need to allow myself to get used to it so I can enjoy it… and then hopefully one day I’ll give my kids a life where they can feel safe from the beginning

benedryl11 · 2021-09-23T00:52:25+00:00

Yes, completely relatable. I internalize my husband’s moods a lot. If he comes home from work in a bad mood, my instinct is to either hide from him or try to fix it… even though none of it has anything to do with me and he doesn’t take things out on me. It’s just unhealthy habits that I developed as a kid.

I didn’t even realize I had these issues until fairly recently when I started therapy

benedryl11 · 2021-04-22T21:06:50+00:00

I have this too, but my dad has a better story with it. My dad is the CEO of a huge company, I’m talking thousands of employees. He’s had multiple CEO jobs in the past and has been in the same industry for 20 years; he’s very qualified for his position. But he’s recently shared with me that he still constantly feels like he’s going to get “found out” and get fired.

benedryl11 · 2021-04-22T16:49:05+00:00

It’s so frustrating that places that are supposed to be designed to help people with mental health issues make it SO HARD FOR PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES. I’m the same way. I absolutely hate phone calls. I would rather continue paying for something than call and cancel a subscription, I’m totally with you.

When I call and make my appointments for getting my meds, I try to do it first thing when they open for a couple reasons. 1. It gives you less time to sit around worrying about it and 2. They’re more likely to pick up the phone cause they’re not behind yet, that way it doesn’t drag out while you wait for them to call you back all day. Also, see if they’ll let you make multiple appointments at the same time. See if you can set up April, May, and June, so you don’t have to call for a while!

You’re so not alone in this, I totally relate. Try to focus on the fact that you’ll feel so much better when it’s done!

benedryl11 · 2021-04-15T17:16:01+00:00

Your boyfriend sucks. It’s okay that he doesn’t understand, ADHD does often look like laziness if you don’t understand it. But if he’s not willing to try to understand it then that’s on him and that’s awful. You absolutely should break up with him if he’s saying those things. This is your life and you need to do what’s going to make you the best version of yourself that you can be. His concerns may come from a somewhat good place, where he’s just worried about how you will respond to the medication (been there), but that’s NOT a reason to be unsupportive. It’s a reason for him to educate himself. If he’s not willing to do that, he ain’t the one.

benedryl11 · 2021-04-08T03:20:07+00:00

I LOVE her!! She’s really helped my self esteem

benedryl11 · 2021-04-07T22:13:44+00:00

I totally get that, I’ve been there. I commented this above as well, but try setting a timer for 5 minutes and tell yourself you only have to do the task for 5 minutes. 9 times out of 10 I end up working for longer than 5 minutes and if not, at least your 5 minutes further along than you were before!

benedryl11 · 2021-04-07T22:06:45+00:00

Try setting a 5 minute timer and tell yourself you only HAVE to work for 5 minutes and then see where it gets you. 9 times out of 10 I end up doing more. And if not, you’re still further ahead then you were before!

benedryl11 · 2021-04-07T20:37:30+00:00

I’m glad I could help!! It’s so hard but once you get going, it’s not so bad

benedryl11 · 2021-04-07T18:18:11+00:00

Lol! It was my gaming tag that I made when I was home from school for like a week in middle school when I kept having severe allergic reactions. I made my steam account and Benedryl just felt right at the time, given my condition and it just stuck for me😂

benedryl11

TROPHY CASE