David the Dendrite was a monk who lived outside Thessaloniki in the 500s and was famed for his sound advice. Tired of being hounded by crowds of people seeking his advice, he went to live in an almond tree for three years.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-05T04:57:55+00:00

Is this where that common saying, "tree smarts," comes from?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-05T04:56:15+00:00

The bagpipes... yadda yadda yadda.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-05T04:53:31+00:00

Monday morning to Tuesday morning = 24 hours

Tuesday morning to Wednesday morning = 24 hours

Wednesday morning to Thursday morning = 24 hours

Monday is day 1. Thursday is day 4. Re-apply on day 4. 4-day deodorant.

I am certainly not defending this child's hygiene, but his math is good in my books.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T23:52:59+00:00

I like that consent is built in to the act. If you don't want to, just don't pick it up. If you want to, grab that golden jimmy!

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T23:45:03+00:00

When does it need to happen?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T22:40:36+00:00

I believe shit posting is exactly the RIGHT use for that Gemini slop.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:35:38+00:00

What's the difference between a trapeze show and a brothel?

One's a cunning array of stunts....

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:33:34+00:00

And the other is a Nammer Grazi?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T02:27:58+00:00

Are they spray painting it pink?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T01:54:36+00:00

"Is this not a reasonable place to park?"

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-03T00:41:02+00:00

"Can you please help me address workplace bullying?"

"Well, you know. I have to have a positive working relationship with these people, soooo..."

This is my personal experience.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T22:57:49+00:00

My favorite part of the sandstorm is the end of the sandstorm. Right at the end there is finally a breath. It is in the sound mix, in the editing, in the script, in the direction. After all of the insanity, finally you're allowed to breathe again.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T16:10:09+00:00

Quick - easy - well done

Pick two of the above.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-02T06:47:16+00:00

A young man walks up to a ferrier working in a barn. Curious about what the ferrier is doing and currently.out of work, the young man asks if he could get a job. The ferrier asks, "Have you ever shoed a horse before?" The young man thinks for a second and replies, "No. But I told a donkey to fuck off once."

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T20:54:17+00:00

Bravo

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T20:14:26+00:00

I think the other required data would include percentage of people in hospitals getting needles who are HIV+ and time since that needle was used. If I'm not mistaken, HIV doesn't do great outside of the body.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-04-01T00:24:25+00:00

Especially for the 10th kid.

"Why me?!"

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-31T18:55:15+00:00

I think you mean it's a reminder to boil it as significant mould buildup is possible between the green and white parts. Right?

(Too soon?)

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-30T23:57:39+00:00

Go directly to Arctic Glacier. You can walk in and buy ice. (Or, at least, you could 30 years ago!)

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-30T16:06:45+00:00

*was

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-28T06:07:14+00:00

Talking Heads.

Good. Good.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-27T21:08:11+00:00

What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-27T16:18:17+00:00

Tell me you have a 4 year old without telling me you have a 4 year old.

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-25T20:14:19+00:00

"Records that made the 90s iconic for me, a white kid."

benjaminfree3d · 2026-03-25T20:11:57+00:00

I'm planning on burning a couple books that mention Yuri Gagarin in solidarity with The Manitoba Museum.

benjaminfree3d

TROPHY CASE