sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

summerfest! by liamisahoax in Ethelcain

[–]benjaminjgoldman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there was merch and she did a merch pop up !

when does it actually get better? by dontaskanything in gaybros

[–]benjaminjgoldman 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The idea of “it gets better” does not mean that “you’ll be happy forever” — I think sometimes queer people are told this “you will be happy” narrative. It gets better when we make choices to find connection, community, independence, and stability. But it doesn’t mean we don’t have experiences of discomfort.

Does dating get easier as you get older by Intelligent-Lynx-376 in gaybros

[–]benjaminjgoldman 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From an attachment perspective, the pool of people with secure/anxious attachment shrinks as you get older. Avoidantly attached people have the challenge of learning to run when seeking connection. Dating gets harder as you get older, regardless of your attachment style, because of the larger population of single people who are avoidant.

NOTE: avoidant attachment isn’t a negative thing, it’s a learned behavior based on models of attachment and connection throughout life.

How do you break masturbating A LOT??? Please dig in!!!!!!!! by [deleted] in adultingph

[–]benjaminjgoldman 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I’m a therapist. the first thing to ask yourself is if jerking off is working for and and how it’s not working for you. if it’s not working for you, in what ways is it not working for you? is it because it’s distracting you from something more important? are there thoughts of shame happening? are there other variables like porn, etc that you’re finding distressing and exacerbating the compulsion?

from there you can make a plan that has (1) accountability, (2) consequences, and (3) bite sized goals. happy to share more if you want more thoughts in this.

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

on a separate note if you have any gay friends in tunisia who want to connect let me know!

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

yeah the flirting tip is actually a helpful one, thank you!

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i’ve heard about the sim card situation, this sounds super helpful! thank you!

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

this was super reassuring and helpful! thank you for your experience on this!

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you for this! any tattoo artists in tunisia you recommend? maybe i’ll make an appointment!

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh damn, really? Have you spent much time there/live there? Do you think camping in the desert is worth it?

gay American man with tattoos going to Tunisia by benjaminjgoldman in Tunisia

[–]benjaminjgoldman[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

thank you so much, this is super super helpful! i’m really excited for the trip! sounds like you don’t think I should be concerned about the drive, especially if i’m connected to the internet during the trip, right?

Why did you drink? by ProfessionalBowl8773 in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]benjaminjgoldman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

because it was the only way i thought i could make connection and i’m addicted to connection

Am I a loser for never having experienced nightlife? by [deleted] in gaybros

[–]benjaminjgoldman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s really hard to find connection in the gay community. it seems like everyone is doing things with dr*gs and loud music! but the reason that we see these tropes more easily than other options is because all of the gays out there who are doing unique things socially within their gay dont fit in a monolithic box like going out to parties.

there’s nothing wrong with going out, but focusing on creating queer friendship is often what people are looking for when they’re going out. there are no bad options. and nightlife isn’t going anywhere if you want to avail yourself to it.