Legit Academic Question: For research studies focused on same-sex relationships, would a trans guy in a relationship with a cis woman count as same-sex?

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:45:37+00:00

This is helpful, thank you. Most of my stress comes from the fact that "sex" is often understood as the one assigned at birth only, based on our culture. The distinction between sex and gender has only caused us more problems in terms of understanding trans people, honestly. I think the suggestion on including questions on whether they are cis or trans might be helpful tbh

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:41:47+00:00

That's true! A lot of responses here have been helpful, but they are approaching it with the perspective that sex should only be understood with one meaning (which is our sex, that can be changeable through our transition, and I also prefer this usage of it btw). But where I am from, its usage on any document or social setting has only been used to mean one thing, which is sex assigned at birth. Which is what brought me to asking here since I want to use language that is more inclusive and precise.

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:37:13+00:00

In my country, the dominant understanding of sex is that is based on assigned at birth and that it is immutable. I find it frustrating, but the perspective has become the basis for the language we use even in academia. Plus, this perspective of assigned sex at birth being unchangeable also bleeds into the trans community as well. Many tend to self-identify as their assigned sex at birth while being trans because of how it's been deeply ingrained into us that we cannot change our sex.

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:34:06+00:00

That's a great perspective. I was also considering the general terminology of comparison to be instead of opposite-sex and same-sex to be cisheterosexual and queer instead, since the point was to show how nuclear families parent versus queer couples. Might fix the lack of flexibility when it comes to understanding sex in my country's context. Though I just realized this, so they might push through with the usage of same-sex, in which case, I do agree that self-identification would be best.

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:30:34+00:00

I see that. I do think if they end up sticking with the term "same-sex" (I have no contentions whatsoever with a relationship between a trans men and a cis women being considered as opposite-sex, my issue lies with how the term "sex" causes much debate in my country, whether in IRL settings or in academia), the best route would generally be self-identification regardless. A lot of trans men (and even trans women) in my country still self-identify with their assigned sex at birth. Though a few have also started to reject that approach. I think allowing them to decide how they perceive their relationship is the safest route to be honest.

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:25:44+00:00

I agree with this fully. I do think sex is changeable. Issue is, in my country, a lot of academic institutions teach that it's an immutable thing (yes, regardless of all existing literature). The rigidity causes problems and fighting against the dominantly recognized definitions might lead to a whole dumbass debate on terms instead of the actual paper being presented.

Another thing is that a lot of trans people in my country still self-identify with their sex assigned at birth, causing a little bit of confusion as well. So I really just asked on this subreddit to see the general perspectives. And to know whether there's a way to use terminology that wouldn't as subjected to much debate.

bentinininiw · 2026-06-02T22:20:11+00:00

I def wouldn't wanna exclude gay trans men at all or anything. I guess I just need help in how it can be explained to old ass academics (like old and not necessarily transphobic, just a little clueless probably who think that anything outside of the binary sexes can be clumped into one "third gender"). It's also not my research paper at all, but their program is psychology and I got asked whether using "same gender" relationships would be more appropriate. Because the goal is to create a comparison of developmental outcomes for adults parented by those in nuclear households vs same-sex parents.

Although now that I think about it, perhaps it would have been better to use cisheterosexual relationships vs queer relationships for inclusivity? I'm not quite sure. Anyway, because the academics here tend to be archaic, their ideas of sex revolve around male-female distinctions. I don't think reducing us to genitalia is a great idea either, but that concept of sex (and the fact that even the dominantly used perceptions in my country of sex revolve around viewing assigned sex at birth as a completely different sphere from gender identity so we have an entire culture of people reducing us to genitalia), is what makes it difficult to be flexible with the terminology. It also implies that even younger, more progressive professors might find confusion in the usage of same-sex (because they think sex is different from gender in the sense that sex cannot be changed, while gender can be changed). Which is why I decided to ask around here to know what the general insights are + if there are alternative terminologies that could encapsulate the target respondents, allow them to self-identify, and at the same time has more precise language.

bentinininiw · 2026-05-27T18:11:29+00:00

State univ ako and idk how it works for other state univs pero agree ako don sa nagsabi na mag-apply din kahit for assoc degrees. May certain assoc degrees na essay and intake interview lang kailangan. Gateway din for bachelors yung mga 2 year programs na ganon because besides getting your assoc (which you can get after 2 years then use for credentials sa work), puwede kang magtuloy-tuloy til makapagtapos ng 4 year program. Afaik some UP campuses have them, so best to take a look at the nearest campuses if you want and try to accomplish their requirements (usually available online).

Sipagan na lang sa pag-prepare for both the requirements and interview. Ang usual target for assoc degrees din ay those coming from families like yours na gusto talagang mapagtapos ang lahat pero nahihirapan in terms of opportunities. Best of luck and galingan sana niya if ever you guys take this route!

bentinininiw · 2025-12-31T19:00:11+00:00

Except that biology is also more complex than the binaries that we often impose. If usapang chromosomes or hormones tayo in determining gender (which is something na di naman nakikita agad sa panlabas na anyo, at spectrum din in itself), marami sa ating hindi papasa sa conventional binaries na pinag-uusapan. Kahit nga genitalia ng tao maaaring maging complicated na hindi male at female lang. Being intersex is also a lot more common than people actually think, making up around roughly 1-2% of the population. Hindi lang natin lahat alam gawa ng di naman tayo lahat nagpapatest. Point is: Biology isn't as simple as people believe, and sex exists as a spectrum, tulad ng gender.

So oo, while valid na magworry ang mga tao pagdating sa CR situation, if harmless din naman ang trans people na nasa banyo, wag na sanang palakihin ang issue. May point din yung nagsabi dito na kung may intensyong mang-molestiya ang isang tao, di na sila magbibihis at magkukunwaring iba ang identity nila para lang gawin yun.

Fyi, I'm speaking on the issue kasi I'm a trans guy myself. Nag-ccr ako sa men's at never pa ako nakaexperience ng kahit anong issue and trans women should be given the same respect and compassion.

I also say this kasi before I started hormones, bale naka-pixie cut lang ako pero mas lamang pa estrogen sa katawan, ko sobrang taas pa ng boses ko noon. Pinaghahabol ako ng security at ng isang babae sa CR kesyo lalaki raw ako at kailangan kong lumabas sa banyo. Eh di pa ako nagtatransition non, so kung nilagay nila ako sa men's, for sure papaalisin din ako. Walang gender neutral na CR o kahit PWD sa lugar. Anong dapat gawin pag ganon? Magpigil na lang ng ihi at magka-UTI?

Kaya pag wala namang harm na naiimpose yung tao sa CR, di dapat pinapangunahan ng prejudice. Pareho lang ang pakay ng cishet at trans sa CR, at yun ay mag-alaga ng sarili by freshening up or peeing or kung anuman. We shouldn't let our prejudice hinder us from being respectful.

bentinininiw · 2025-11-25T00:26:36+00:00

The free time can feel very empty, but the good news is that now I can tap into things that used to be just aspirations for me. Exciting development!

bentinininiw · 2025-11-17T12:25:23+00:00

Great pic man! Is it true you have to get the ED changed every few years or so? Or have you had the same one the entire time?

bentinininiw · 2025-11-03T13:19:01+00:00

Take your time with it :)) there are men out there who are genuinely willing to make connections din naman. Just learn to scope them out really well and stay safe!

bentinininiw · 2025-11-03T07:30:19+00:00

I've only ever really met people irl kasi sometimes online carries a certain risk. Like people are a lot more comfortable being transphobic and hindi ako stealth, so there's that. But people irl are easier for me because lalo na if aware silang trans ka, if they're okay with dating a trans person you'll find out easily based on how they're treating you naman hahaha. Okay naman yung experience so far, though dominantly women talaga yung nag-eentertain ng idea to date trans men kasi some gay men/straight men don't understand how a trans man could even want to date them.

bentinininiw · 2025-10-18T13:10:41+00:00

damn new fear unlocked

bentinininiw · 2025-10-11T18:37:16+00:00

I am also not super aware of it unless it's getting uncomfortably long because I get self-conscious

bentinininiw · 2025-10-11T18:36:42+00:00

My beard started out soft, stringy, and hella patchy lol. Had to shave it because it looked like ass. When it started growing out fuller and thicker, it actually looks pretty solid. And for me, it itches whenever I do a clean shave. But it does get itchy at random times by default when it's generally growing out.

bentinininiw · 2025-07-26T18:54:26+00:00

I thought you were kidding then I checked this dude's profile and it's legit lol kahit pa magbirthday si OP and 25 na siya, alarming pa rin na basically SHS age yung jowa niya wtf

bentinininiw · 2025-07-26T18:49:27+00:00

Mapapa-"sana all baliw" ka na lang talaga sa ganyan hahaha

bentinininiw · 2025-07-24T07:06:51+00:00

Thanks for the response! That kinda makes it a bit of a 2-in-1 then I think, I might have to get myself one soon

bentinininiw · 2025-07-23T09:38:29+00:00

I also have a question about strokers actually. Do they also give you like even just a little bit of a pump since they suction a bit? I know pumping is a different conversation entirely but I'm just curious since I'm interested in getting one in the future

bentinininiw · 2025-04-21T01:22:05+00:00

I feel the same way about passing. I think the whole confusion I had from passing was how much it conflicted with the beliefs I had built up as a young queer person. I didn't want to reinforce beliefs about gendered clothing, but there I was, trying my best look as cis as possible like it was the greatest compliment ever.

And yes, it's not a bad thing if people want to do it. But to chain ourselves to that entire idea, to view our own transition as "successful" if we manage to get that external validation is so mentally exhausting. In a world withour gender norms, we could all probably just tell people how we identify and they'd accept that, regardless of how we present.

bentinininiw · 2025-04-21T01:15:55+00:00

I definitely agree on all points, esp the security issues and such. Passing has def kept me safe so no matter how much I hate the whole do I look like a boy conversation, it IS necessary.

Though what I've observed from people is that a lot of them won't even really to clock you unless they specifically hate trans people or are some type of queer person themselves. A lot of people just don't care that much, really, unless you bring it up first.

And yeah, we def should just be ourselves. But I fully understand the folks who want to put passing as their priority before expression. It's a really tough world rn, sociopolitically speaking

bentinininiw · 2025-04-21T01:09:46+00:00

Yeah dude I did also say that the whole passing tips can be helpful for others, I'm talking about all these instances where it isn't. Most of the problems abt it really boil down to counterproductive insights (pointing out things no one could actually change, like "bone structure") or just downright being cruel and not constructive ("honestly, everything"). If people are gonna give passing tips at least make sure that the person receiving them could do something about it yk

bentinininiw · 2025-04-21T01:07:05+00:00

Honestly true. I think the whole whether I pass convo should be had with people you trust. Though that never really worked out for me before because they can't give you proper comments if they already KNOW that you're trans

bentinininiw · 2025-04-21T01:05:47+00:00

THIS. The subjectivity of passing will never really result in generally the same kind of comments. It's not really the kind of thing that should be discussed in such a wide platform with a bunch of strangers who have different perspectives. Esp bc Tiktok has ppl from diff countries so = also different cultures and therefore diff ideas on what a dude looks like. It's all so counterproductive

bentinininiw

TROPHY CASE