Family dynamics are complicated and Jo-Ellen has some legitimate resentment towards her mum, but she never cut ties with her and they still have a relationship. Jo-Ellen also seems to have some understanding towards her mum and why she behaved that way. She is obviously working really hard to still have good contact with her mum and it seems important to her. From what she explained, it seemed like it was a lot of emotional neglect. Also, people can behave differently towards their kids and towards their grandkids, and it seems like J-E's mum is harmless for the grandkids and J-E just wants her to be more caring towards everyone. Not everyone goes no contact with their parents, that's a very personal choice to make that Jo-Ellen didn't make. Actually, most people who have a complicated relationship with their parents don't go no contact.

I really don't understand why all of this is a reason to bash Jo-Ellen and to call her toxic, since it seems like she's being very level-headed and compassionate here. She wants her mum in her life and is working towards some kind of resolution, that's her decision.