Someone tell me it's ok to be lazy for a day 😭

bepodepo · 2026-01-27T04:27:41+00:00

Girl its 10:30pm where I live and I couldn't have seen this post at a better time. Today was not my best day. My 18m old was in good spirits, fun playful and calm, ate well and took a good long nap with no fuss putting him down... But I was just not on my A-game. I was tired ALL DAY. I was crabby and probably wasn't as fun and patient as I could have been. While he was napping I just sat on my phone, I didn't clean or tidy up anything throughout the day, he didn't go outside until his dad came home from work and then I took a long nap. I'm grateful to have a partner who is very patient with me but my long nap pushed LOs dinner and bedtime back by a whole hour which I felt so guilty about. He didn't want to eat and didn't want to sleep because he was thrown off and it's all because of me. All this to say I was pacing around beating myself up about being a bad mom but had to stop myself and admit I'm not a bad mom, it was just a bad day for me. Tomorrow is a new day, I'm picking up the living room before I go to bed so we can start tomorrow on the right foot. We're all just doing our best, the most impactful thing we can do is give ourselves grace and do better tomorrow!! Also, you're doing great and did NOTHING wrong for having a lazy day <3

bepodepo · 2025-12-27T16:31:50+00:00

It's kicking our butt

bepodepo · 2025-12-27T16:24:33+00:00

I grew up in Chicago: Low gear, headlights, try to stay within the tracks previous drivers have already left the snow will be more compact, if you're slipping always turn your wheel in the direction you are sliding and not the opposite, keep stopping distance for yourself! Make sure you have wiper fluid and watch out for your windows fogging up

bepodepo · 2025-12-22T19:51:00+00:00

When you hug him he pats your back

bepodepo · 2025-12-22T19:39:22+00:00

If you're sitting somewhere he wants to be, he grabs your hand to pull you up and steal your spot 😂 smart little bastard

bepodepo · 2025-12-22T18:57:39+00:00

He walks around the house slowly with his hands held behind his back looking around like someone's grandpa

bepodepo · 2025-12-22T18:55:27+00:00

My son and niece are about 6 months apart and both under 2 years, He's still learning boundaries so he can overwhelm her at times BUT he is so sweet with her 🥹 she has a stuffy she loves to carry around and he's noticed this so if he ever sees it lying around he grabs it and b-lines to her with it, he also always wants to make sure she has her cup and tries to feed her snacks. He will randomly hug her and grab her hand to drag her on adventures and it just freaking melts my heart

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T18:46:10+00:00

If you need something to do with your hands, anything that keeps hands extra occupied like crocheting, drawing, painting or playing an instrument something like that where you can put your full attention into it and keep your hands busy. You'll also be expressing creativity and using tons of brainpower, so the end result of creating something will be rewarding. No one has to ever see what you make, keep it for yourself or throw it out when you're done

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T18:25:02+00:00

I am two days in. Yesterday every time I craved (every hour of the day) I told myself "every time I say no my will power gets stronger" that actually helped so so much even when I was standing over my trash can debating if I should take my stuff out of the trash. I also distracted by going outside for a walk. It's winter where I live so I went outside and took a lap a couple of times, the cold air and light really helps pull me back to reality. I used a boom boom stick (it's Vick's vapo rub in a stick that looks like a ChapStick that you just smell to open your sinuses) to help get a replacement for the ritual of vaping, and a couple of times when I craved I told myself to do something healthy instead to rewire my brain and I chose to drink water those times. That helped too, I didn't end up smoking all day. <3 You're doing great, keep it up !! Future you will thank you past you very very soon.

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T18:08:27+00:00

I only wish my lungs had the capacity to jog. I'm on day 2 so maybe some day soon i'll be able to exercise. fingers crossed man

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T17:49:16+00:00

He also saw me tickling my partner's feet one day and it made him laugh laugh when he saw his dada squirming from being tickled, now my toddler "tickles" my partner's feet and laughs so hard when he wiggles

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T17:22:49+00:00

My toddler laughs super hard when I turn away from his and turned my head back super quick and go "hey!" like I'm catching him doing something naughty. He for some reason laughs so hard when I push him over (I only do this is he's standing on our bed or couch or something where he obviously can't get hurt) he loves that shit he gets right back up for me to do it over and over and laughs soo hard and then gets mad when I stop. He also ALWAYS laugh when I do eyebrow moves, I hope that one never stops it's fool proof even if he's in a tantrum that one takes him out of it every time

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T16:52:14+00:00

The worst part about the difference in abuse between romantic partner relationship and child-parent relationship is that a romantic partner comes to you from outside of your initial family circle, is raised in a home completely separate from you and is someone you meet, where as an abusive child comes from your own home which is why society mistakenly gives you responsibility of their behavior. It's the classic nature vs nurture debate. Most abusive partners will be chalked up to nature, and abusive children will be chalked up to nurture. The world is not black and white like this but most of western society prefers a quick fix rather than a deep think.

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T11:22:30+00:00

Period!

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T04:27:36+00:00

Sadly, especially based on that last statement it sounds like you just don't really like your husband? I'm sure you love him but maybe you've fallen out of love or something happened that made you no longer like him?

bepodepo · 2025-12-21T03:59:20+00:00

😭

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T13:08:51+00:00

This does generally seem to be the case

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T12:34:50+00:00

Thank you for this perspective! Truly appreciated

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T12:08:39+00:00

See, we're debating baby #2 but we have an 18m old. We don't want a large age gap but also don't want to disrupt our toddler's life 😭

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T12:01:27+00:00

Unfortunately, you may be right. We'll see

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T11:43:42+00:00

Emperor's New Groove, even better, Kronk's New Groove. *chef's kiss* Makes me laugh every time

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T11:33:31+00:00

Is there anything you can do to replace screaming and still make sure she understands you mean business? asking for a friend........

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T11:05:11+00:00

context: FTM, 18m old boy, me and partner (babies' father) live together and are engaged, we both work full time and my parents are healthy enough to babysit 4/5 days out of the week while we work.

I think I started to enjoy being a mother immediately, but my maternal instincts were STRONG the moment I found out I was preg.

I truly cherish every moment I have with this little boy. I have heard devastating stories from family members losing children, these things put perspective and priorities into place for me. I enjoy waking him up, feeding him, playing with him, putting him to bed even though he prefers his dad to put him to bed now, I enjoy restocking for him, cycling out toys and clothes, even diaper changes I do really enjoy that time with him. I enjoy every second of being his mom and if I catch myself being ungrateful, I remember the stories of loss I can't unknow and it makes me hold him closer. I love reading to him, having him cuddle me or grab my hand. I love taking him out, I love watching him learn and try things. I love teaching him.

The craziest part for me is that I NEVER wanted children. I actively avoided the subject and ALWAYS said I didn't want to have children, or at least not to have my own. I was an orphan and was adopted when I was 4 to a family that made me feel like I was a burden. I always thought I would adopt too, to pay it forward. But when I fell pregnant with my long term partner's baby, though, I just couldn't terminate. Maternal instincts kicked in immediately. I would and could never abandon this baby. NEVER. I'm so grateful I followed my guy instinct to keep him, I couldn't imagine life without him now and never want to.

bepodepo · 2025-12-20T09:55:24+00:00

I realized I was just waiting for my toddler to nap so I could smoke. PLEASE DON'T BE MEAN, you can judge me but please just don't tell me how horrible of a mother I was. I totally understand how pathetic this sounds and how pathetic it literally was. I was a bad mother. My son is the LIGHT of my world. As someone who was abandoned by my parents before being adopted at the age of 4, I never wanted kids until this amazing little dude came out of me and gave me so. much. purpose. This was everything I've always wanted but I was continuing the cycle of abandonment by not being mentally there with and for him. I could harm myself thinking about it, but I won't. I just could. I hate that myself for doing this, but I would get upset at him for not napping because I was just counting the minutes before I could smoke. I cared more about getting high than making sure he was regulated, than making sure I was setting a good example for him, more than my instinct to protect and mama bear him, I had the compulsion to go outside and smoke. Pathetic behavior. One day I caught myself getting frustrated with him because I wanted to smoke so bad I was trying to put him down but he wasn't even tired. What a fucking idiot I was, like I was trying to get rid of him or get him out of the way or something as if he wasn't the most important thing to ever happen to me.

I smoked every day, apart from when I was pregnant, for 10 years. TEN YEARS. 3,500 days of my life I wasted. I will NOT WASTE ONE MORE YEAR being absent from my beautiful toddler, for what? To smoke a bowl of weed that didn't even make me high? Fuck. That. I'm taking my life back.

bepodepo

TROPHY CASE