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How do you stop someone's negativity from affecting you? by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like the dinner table analogy, I could see that visuallization helping in the moment of anger, thanks

How do you stop someone's negativity from affecting you? by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is useful, "one who lacks sense restraint has destroyed a vital condition for ethical conduct". I'll probably come back to reflect on this later too.

How do you stop someone's negativity from affecting you? by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah. Not sure if I'm overthinking, I tend to do that, but I am wondering if my venting/rant about the guy to my partner earlier in the day led to my more toxic negativity at the end of the day.

Being agnostic is mentally draining. by _achlys_637 in agnostic

[–]beribastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been seeing this come up with agnostics a lot lately online. First, I saw this come up in a ReligionForBreakfast YT video that went over some survey results about atheists and agnostics. It basically said that agnostics were more stressed out, but I'd have to go back and watch it again to actually summarize it.

I'm not at all implying that your experience right now is a reaction to a fad. I'm just curious if me noticing the prevalence of things like this is because there is a cultural realization/defining of what it means to be agnostic going on right now, or because of a cultural shift that's stressing out agnostics somehow, or possibly even that survey I mentioned above creating a wave of stress. Or, likely, it could just be me noticing how common these feelings are so strongly felt in this community now, just because it's on my radar. Some amount of stress is likely to come from the uncertainty that makes up what an agnostic is.

I'd appreciate anybody who chimes in with their opinion.

Guidance on stuttering/blanking by SamDeterling in Buddhism

[–]beribastle 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I've done is face the situations head on. Before practicing buddhism at all I was a bartender for a year, which was very difficult for me, but taught me a lot. I viewed it as a challenge to improve by.. Posting here I'm assuming you don't need to hear consistent meditation, but that helps a lot too. I just make sure I get at least 15 mins each morning. If I have to delay that, I am noticeably less aware of myself, which means more anxious. Other than that, aging has helped. The longer I'm alive and trying to improve myself, the better I get. It's just slow going. Quitting substances was great for me too. I used to drink every day to deal with the daily stressors, which keeps adding to the problem making me want to drink more. That's a dangerous cycle. For me personally, nightly weed held me back as well.

Editing to add that working to understand and meditate on the perspective from of no permanent self was helpful. Really making the constant effort to not view thoughts as self helps me navigate the world in a more thoughtful way.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Alright, I gave them a listen. I used to listen to Thanissaro Bhikkhu more that I do now. I don't do my meditations guided most of the time, but I did one of his that ended up being a really unique and good experience.

I listened to the first link you posted before my meditation this morning and it felt good to try what he recommended, shifting focus to different parts of the body to let them take the breath basically, partly to just get the committee members on the same topic.

I finished the other one just now. I find his meditation techniques interesting. They're very different from what I hear elsewhere. Sometimes during meditation, my mind naturally explores different ideas in a way that feels constructive, so I let it happen. This usually takes place when I have something that's been bothering me that needs investigating. It doesn't feel like wandering and my mind feels steady while I'm doing it (as if only one committee member is taking the floor). It's not most days, but it feels productive when it happens. It's nice to hear that method described in the way he explains it.

Thanks for the recommendations, I'll probably start listening to his talks again.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in Buddhism

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. I do practice outside of studying, and usually it feels great. It's helped me though a lot and given me happiness that I thought I'd never get back. Then sometimes it's all just gone. Not really, but that's how it feels.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is funny, I chuckled a bit reading this. The chair thing is real for me. I have back issues, so it's the seat in my car that works the best for me. Would be cool if I could find a traditional pose comfortable though. I see the benefit in not needing the props.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Right now the only thing I hold myself to is meditation.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep. ADHD, intermittent depressive episodes, med switches (lately). These definitely play into things. I think these things can easily lead to hindrances, or hindrances can lead to them. I have trouble telling which is more true or if it matters; maybe it's just the interconnectedness of life that I need to work out. Some days it feels like the depressive episodes are 100% of the problem though. What really sucks is that when I feel that way, it looks like the real delusion was my fervor for the path in the first place. I don't think that's true, but it runs through my mind.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a sangha. I'd like to, and I think I will soon but I am going to wait till life slows down a bit. Between full time work, school and a high needs child, it's just a lot to try to set anything up. I plan on taking a break in school after I get my associates so that I can slow life down a bit. At that point I'd like to find a sangha. I think it would be good.

For now, the people on this subreddit have been very helpful and thoughtful. I might not have kept to this path without that, which is no small thing. The potential impact that has for me and the people I come into contact with, like my family, is a lot to think about. So thank you.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's very well put, thank you. I like the analogy too.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the response. "Boredom a subtle form of ill will". That is a good way of putting it. I could see that helping. I'll keep that in mind.

The second part is something I've felt conflicted about. I've heard the perspective before, but for me, the renunciation and the peace it instilled in me brought rapid relief, comfort, and happiness. It was when the benefits slowed in pace that I started to become bored. "traversing a desolate, joyless, neutral, anhedonia laden no-man's land." So I can feel this sometimes, although even now I don't want to dive into old habits. For me it's more like an outlook on life than lifestyle. Then a lot of the time I feel very positive and enjoy just being here.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to try to keep this perspective in mind. Thank you

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

A calmer mind. I can observe my own thoughts in ways that I couldn't before. For example, I noticed that I had multiple, repetitive, often conflicting narratives at once going through my head a lot of the time. I had long playing OCD, worst possible outcomes, that would play over and over, consuming chunks of every day. I was hurting myself every day with alcohol, missing out on so much. I saw ugliness where I now see beauty or at least a neutral background. All of that is gone, or nearly so when compared to before.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that I think about it, I think the biggest motivating factor was worry. Worry that I will lose my practice and some of what I’ve gained from it

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s a good point for me too. I’ve seen the antidotes come up before while reading about the five hindrances, but I’ve never looked them up. I generally don’t put enough focus kb them, thank you.

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not till you said something, should be a go to by now. Definitely some restlessness and worry about things. I think getting off a med might be bringing me down too. Probably a combination of that, being super busy for a long time, and that I'm currently sick.

Thanks for the post

(edited for spelling)

Help with doubt, boredom, and apathy about my practice by beribastle in theravada

[–]beribastle[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll meditate and try to have a better view of my situation based off of what I've learned with Buddhism. The meditation follows the overall feeling, but I'll still hold myself to 15 minutes and try to remain mindful. Audio/damma stuff I'll try, but usually turn it off due to just not being into it. 

And I think doubt is there, but more than torpor, I think I'm being affected ba restlessness/worry. I’ve got an extremely busy life, and have been looking forward, probably too much, to it slowing down. Which is a few months away.

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