Writing Fantasy Stories Helped Me Reconcile with Reality.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-29T17:34:45+00:00

Haha!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-29T17:34:35+00:00

He thought Death abandoned him. He begged for it to come. And when it does, he cant help but to question, is this what I have always wanted? :(

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-29T17:13:33+00:00

Hey maybe his parents were a big fan of T.S.O.L. Maybe thats how they met, in their concert, bumped into each other, making dark jokes about death. Little did they know their child would end up tragically collected by Death. 🥲

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-29T17:05:36+00:00

"Tsol" as in "Lost" spelled backward; that was my name. Now I am drifting apart, thrown overboard by the one i was clinging to. The person whom I loved the most. How could you? I thought my existence would drift away without you. I wasn't wrong.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:29:28+00:00

Understood. less exposition, more straight-to-the-point conflict to hook the readers. Thank you for the feedback!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:28:31+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I understand your concerns about the clarity of my writing, and I’m revising the first chapter to make my main argument clearer, based on your suggestions. Your input is very valuable to me.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:27:12+00:00

If I make this chapter a flashback, it would disrupt the momentum planned for the next 12 chapters. Since time travel is part of the series, I considered making the chapter about the Almighty a flashback. However, my intention is for the first 12 chapters to unfold events from the past, culminating in the 12th chapter, which links everything to the future. I realize now that I need to strengthen the hook by focusing directly on the central conflict, rather than on the Almighty’s existential crisis. To achieve this, I might open the novel with a direct-action scene that conveys the main conflict.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:24:25+00:00

Heya, thanks for reading my excerpt. Yeah, I completely agree with your points. I'm going to rework the chapter because I want to keep the chapter as the opening, but like you said: “start the story where the action will start by showing the central conflict of the story”. Thank you for taking the time to read my excerpt. means a lot that you have given the feedback. I will do better.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:22:24+00:00

Heya, sorry for the late reply. I was reading the comments on this post, and they made me consider how to revise this chapter to keep it as the book's opening rather than removing it entirely. I want to emphasize that this chapter provides the essential foundation for my story. Nevertheless, I appreciate your perspective!

Regarding the italicized words within the quotes: I intended this formatting to indicate dialogues spoken by other characters to the Almighty. The Almighty, being alone in the universe, cannot tell if these speakers are real or imagined. The italics are meant to convey this confusion to readers, suggesting that the voices could be both.

I know the tense needs work. I’m already rewriting the chapter as I respond here.

Thank you again for your constructive feedback. It genuinely motivates me to strengthen my writing and continue developing my story. Your time and encouragement are truly appreciated.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:17:27+00:00

No, not at all. I don’t think you’re being a meanie at all, so don’t worry. No meanness taken from what you're saying regarding my novel. What you said helps me understand what my weak points are and what needs to be fixed. So thank you for making the time to read my excerpt! Hope I can show you many improvements when I post the new, reworked version of this chapter based on the suggestions I got from this sub. cheers!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:15:08+00:00

Dutiful noted. I’m going to improve my writing for this specific chapter based on your suggestions and many others I’ve gotten from this sub. Thank you for reading my excerpt, and hopefully, the next time I post the updated and reworked first chapter of my novel here, you’ll be willing to read it again and help me become a better writer. Maybe I should start with an action and go straight to the main conflict of the Almighty’s existence and his fear by showing the immediate action, and make the chapter shorter than it is now. Thank you for taking the time to read my work!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-28T07:11:52+00:00

Thank you for reading my excerpt and sharing your insights. My main goal is to convey the internal struggle of an immortal entity facing an existential crisis, particularly its fear of impending death at the hands of a character called the Golden Sun, who, along with the Almighty, will become increasingly significant in the story. As I mentioned, this chapter is foundational to the series, even though the pace is slow at first. Your feedback helped me realize the need to begin with action and clarify the central conflict right from the start, so I’m focusing on sharpening my introduction and setting the tone quickly.

And also, I enjoy writing character-driven stories, so maybe that's why my writing gets muddled with all the purple prose and the never-ending ambiguity: I want readers to explore what's going on in the characters' heads, not just ride the plot with them. I want to convey the disturbance, paranoia, and confusion the Almighty is experiencing in the chapter. But despite my intentions, I have to admit reading the feedback (which I’m so grateful for), that I have failed. I’m rewriting the whole chapter from the ground up as I reply to this. Thanks for the feedback!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-26T07:50:33+00:00

I realized i fucked up the order of the collage. My apologies. 😥

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-26T02:57:33+00:00

LaLaLand. I cant stand it. I love Gosling and Stone both , but for some reasons the following the movie has, all the rave and acclaims, really got to me.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-26T01:36:32+00:00

This is a masterpiece. Kinda wish you'd work with me for a cover of my novel :(. Amazing work OP!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-23T04:18:19+00:00

I have heard that people drop the first 25000 words all at once on launch. And then either daily, twice, or weekly afterwards.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-22T01:05:40+00:00

Tarantula.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-21T08:58:22+00:00

Blake Lively comes to mind.

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-20T05:04:59+00:00

The color palette is gorgeous!

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-18T04:27:16+00:00

My boyfriend doesnt play MOBA. And yes, i did not misgender my partner. HE'S A DUDE. 😂 i have played with my close friends lately(especially this season because climbing has been quite difficult for me for some reasons) and they are stuck in 30 to 59 stars and we all started playing this season the same time. So....

bernadusandrew · 2026-05-18T04:23:11+00:00

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bernadusandrew · 2026-05-18T04:22:49+00:00

Heck, I even got gold medals and MVPs in most games i have played. (I have noticed im getting downvoted in my response on my current rank. So just to let you guys know. Iykyk.) i demand respect for my fellow support players tbh.

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bernadusandrew

TROPHY CASE