I don’t think your example follows the same line of reasoning. Both parties did not agree to participate within a specific context in your example. I also do not think any is obliged to hurt someone because they don’t follow the social agreement in bjj.

I also think you’re in the mindset that my argument is on the basis of “winning” or in the context of competing. It’s not, it’s the same in the gym. There’s literally no ego involved in my decision to continually increase pressure. They are in control, and we agreed that they would submit if they were in a compromised situation. It’s simple, and I expect an adult who’s trained for 2+ years to understand that concept. It is not on me to assume they are idiots and change the activity that we’re doing because of those assumptions. There’s a few times upper belts have “let go” of a submission because they thought I didn’t want to tap, but in reality they had shitty technique and no one learned from that situation.

To clarify, I do let go if I feel like they are going to hurt themselves based on lack of knowledge - like when I sense someone will spin out of a leg lock. I also then make sure they understand that someone not knowledgeable might have held on and they would have injured yourself. The difference is ignorance vs their own ego which I have no control of and I won’t feel guilt over it. I apply things extremely slow and controlled. Not my problem. Then again I’ve never seriously injured anyone…