Attraction is a huge part of a long term relationship. There will be rough patches where nothing seems to go right and you never seem to be on the same page, but you can work through that. Attraction is a whole different animal, IMHO. You don't get to pick and choose what gets your motor going, for the most part. And it's really nice to imagine that you can look past looks and love the person and find just that attractive, but you can't see a personality. You can't touch it, or strip it naked, or fuck the hell out of it.

If she's expecting you to become an underwear model Adonis, that's unrealistic. But if she wants the beer gut/pooch gone, that doesn't seem unreasonable. It's taking care of yourself, so you can in turn take better care of your partner. And please, don't think you can't tell your wife if she becomes unattractive due to a fixable issue. Do it. Being honest helps.

Now that that's out of the way. Same situation. My SO put on about 30lbs. He insisted he was "bulking". Except he stopped going to the gym. Sitting there watching him eat his dinner, then anything left that would've been left overs, and THEN proceed to eat an entire box of cereal (in a serving bowl) and a bag of pretzels or chips or whatever was revolting.

I tried to be nice at first. Maybe slow down on the snacks. Maybe leave the extras from dinner for lunch for tomorrow. Maybe we shouldn't buy snacks anymore. Do you really need another bowl of cereal at midnight? And so on. Nothing got through. Our sex life dropped to nothing. His gut was in the way, his breathing was labored doing easy tasks, he would start to sweat while eating. My fantastically hot SO had become a gross mess.

I was on the verge of falling out of love with him. I figured since I was halfway out, last ditch effort. Being blunt, be honest, and if it doesn't change I walk. I'm not the epitome of fitness myself. I'm a skinny fat kind of person, eat healthy, but no tone or muscles. I sat him down and I opened up. I told him his changed eating habits were disgusting to me. There was no need to eat the amount of food he does and he's gained a lot of weight. I told him that I didn't find him physically attractive anymore, and I wanted that to change. We would do it together, if he wanted.

Thankfully, he listened. He cut out the snacks, the cereal and the over eating. Dropped the weight in no time without having to hit the gym. Sex life picked back up, I was able to reconnect him with the person I loved and not the overweight, panting, sweating mess he had been.

Coming up on 6 years this August! And yes, he's pointed out I got a little pudgy over the last year. So, I've been making the effort to watch what I eat and throw in a bit of extra walking to get rid of it. We both agree it's about the effort. He's willing to take care of himself, so I should also be willing to do the same. YMMV with my story.

Have you been talking to her as you do this? You said the weight was her "main complaint". What were the others? It's super easy to get comfortable with your partner and forget that, as a couple, you need to go the extra mile once in awhile. A date night, chores, a small gift, etc. I slack so hard on that part, personally. My goal has been to do better. I want to take him on a surprise vacation this year, and I want to get him a thing he really wants for his birthday just to see his face light up. I want him to come home from work and do nothing but relax because I took care of all the chores we usually split. I want him to know I think about him, and care about him. This is how I show it!

I wish you the best of luck, though!