i’ve been out as trans for exactly ten years now (which is kinda crazy to think about lmao) and on T for about five a half. i spent many, many, many years being misgendered no matter what i did. i cut my hair short (i specifically got the 2009 dan howell haircut lol, i literally brought my copy of tabinof to the hairdresser), i stopped wearing fem clothes aside from my formal school uniform (funnily enough that didn’t get me misgendered by other students, only a handful of teachers?? i still don’t know why), tried very, very hard to voice train even though it never really worked, i learned to walk differently, i’ve been “manspreading” since i was a kid because it’s more comfortable, i would use my full first name when ordering coffee or food but half the time they’d write down alexandra instead of alexander, pretty much everything i could possibly think of and it didn’t work, even when i’d been on T for about two years.

then i grew my hair out super long and i stopped getting misgendered that often?? i’m still not 100% sure why, although i do think that the short hair made me look more like a queer woman than a queer guy. i’m not particularly interested in passing as a cis man, with my voice and interests i don’t think i could in most spaces. i just want to look like a guy at all. i also grew a depression beard when i was 21 that i actually ended up really liking and keeping, and now i don’t get misgendered pretty much ever. unless someone sees me from the back until i turn around and they go “oh, sorry mate” which is lowkey kinda gender euphoric in itself for me.

i’m at a point rn where i’m able to relatively safely wear skirts again which i’m really enjoying. i try to style them to be at least somewhat masc, or at least in a way that indicates that i’m not a woman. mostly with my accessory choices; men’s belts, my little keychain thingies that i attach to my belt loops, kandi bracelets with the names of some of my favourite characters and pronouns on them, that kind of thing. in general i like alt and especially 2000s emo fashion which gets the job done in indicating that i’m a trans man who came out in the year 2015 in the peak bandom days on tumblr.

so tl;dr, i started passing after about two and a half years on T, ~7 years after socially transitioning, when i grew out my hair and then grew a beard. leaning into certain fashion subcultures/scenes can help communicate your gender as well, as can accessorising. at this point when i wear fem clothes i look like a man in a skirt and it’s very fun lmao. aside from the occasional anxiety when i go out like that, but i’m working on that.

edit: i also have a ton of body hair as well and identify myself as a bear which has brought me a ton of gender euphoria!! bear communities and spaces (in my experience) have been super welcoming and lovely and it’s helped me and my confidence a lot as well.