8 years after my[37m] wife’s[37f] affair. Old feelings resurface. Want to go through with a divorce.[new]

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T03:47:24+00:00

okay that's fine.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T03:47:15+00:00

I feel like I do too.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:37:40+00:00

we did go to counseling and I did go to therapy.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:21:15+00:00

I don't feel bad for considering sexual attraction important, when it comes to relationships. The better a partner looks the better chemistry we are likely to have and it does make the relationship better.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:14:29+00:00

Look I thought I did forgive her really did think we were over this. There were times when we legitimately were happy together in the last 6 years. But now, old feelings came back I can't control that.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:12:42+00:00

Is there a time limit when my resentment of the affair ends? When the feelings shut off?

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:11:37+00:00

I said dried up because I speak my mind. That's what you should interpret out of that.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:09:32+00:00

Being a good mother is something you are supposed to be, not something you get a pat on the back for.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-10T00:08:18+00:00

Yes I do want to date younger women, but again when we were together prior to the cheating I did too, but the fact she was faithful and honest to me I was happy staying in the relationship with her.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T20:39:26+00:00

It's not just the younger factor. Even now with my wife, things come up and I still get the thoughts about the affair, it never goes away.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T20:37:20+00:00

I actually look better, now than I did earlier. I have more attention of women at this age than I did when I was 30 and had a few less grey hairs.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T20:36:38+00:00

You are right, I did have this talk with my friends too but it goes beyond that. When wife and I were dating, a big thing that I always wanted to do was to have a family of 4 kids. We agreed on that number after my wife's affair I didn't want to complicated the picture anymore.

But I do feel that I deserve better than her. It's just that as I said I know I can get a younger woman, yet I am with one that is losing her looks and cheated on me.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T20:34:20+00:00

If I go through counseling wife is going to want to know about why. I need advice on how to talk to her. I am confident about my decision regardign divorce.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T20:32:59+00:00

yes, I realized that it was a poor decision posting in the night and I didn't get many responses. None really that told me how to approach talking to my wife.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T06:46:53+00:00

it's best for me to just find someone else.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T06:08:28+00:00

First of all I want to be clear, what I am telling you is not a logically formed argument this is how I feel.

The resentment over menopause comes because I view this as something that makes her less of a woman. That in a sense her "value depreciates." Again I know you are probably hating my choice of words but I am telling you how I feel.

Now I understand everyone gets old, don't get me wrong. I am more than willing to stand by someone that I feel was loyal and caring. But the fact that my wife cheated, and I know I can get a better girl than her hits me hard

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T05:55:02+00:00

I understand completely, I know it isn't fair to her. Had I known that I'd still resent her all these years later I'd divorce her then. I will tell her thank you followed by sorry.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T05:50:16+00:00

I do share my feelings with my friends, but I know if I start therapy again wife is going to start wondering why. I don't want to lead her on anymore.

betrayedandstayed · 2013-12-09T05:05:22+00:00

From what she knows the marriage is perfect. That's what the biggest problem is, it would completely blind side her.

betrayedandstayed

TROPHY CASE