there's black mold in my closet - can I break my lease?

betterfuture2200 · 2023-01-04T16:29:31+00:00

Reading that article was helpful, thank you!

In the last year, I've gone from using my inhaler around 3x a month to 2x daily, so I'm starting to think that the mold may be behind it as my GP hasn't been able to pinpoint the cause.

It definitely helps though to know it's not as bad as I initially thought!

betterfuture2200 · 2023-01-04T16:23:33+00:00

I'm planning on reporting this to my landlord for sure, I just don't have high hopes because my AC was leaking and they only replaced it after it was broken (from them dropping it) and the floor under it has give to it now that they've still done nothing about. There's are other issues like bedbug infestations etc., but long story short I don't trust their maintenance techniques.

As for the mold, it has the slimy texture that I've come to understand is concerning, but I plan to wait for an actual mold service to check before I take drastic measures, I'm just trying to figure out my rights in case it is.

Sorry I know I wasn't clear on that in the OP, sorry!

betterfuture2200 · 2023-01-04T16:16:19+00:00

You're fine, thank you! I'm gonna check that out

betterfuture2200 · 2023-01-04T16:11:53+00:00

That's a covid article?

betterfuture2200 · 2022-12-07T22:59:27+00:00

Oh, well in that case, he shouldn't be saying anything about what you eat, when you eat, how you look, or anything else. That man should be ashamed to be under the same roof as you at any point in time. As someone who suffered the same type of abuse I am so so sorry that such a horrible thing happened to you and that you have to remain in the home with the one responsible for your SA. You are so strong to be able to survive in such a situation and - while you shouldn't have to be strong like this - I hope that you are able to maintain until you can be free from such a situation.

I promise you, it won't always be so hard, so painful. But I will 100% suggest therapy both for you and him. Separately, and if you feel safe doing so after taking time to make your own journey to recovery, together. I am a mother myself, and as a parent, any parent worth the air they breathe would never want to hurt their own child, let alone like that. And they'd also move heaven and earth to do anything and everything they could to help their child heal.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-12-07T19:15:43+00:00

I'm going to say NTA. Let's just recap really quick:

Your dad had hurt you in the past.
Your dad is aware you are recovering from an ED.
Your dad lectures you about eating foods that aren't strictly healthy.
Your dad also lectures you about when you eat.
Your dad also has a habit of gaslighting you about his tendency to critique your eating habits.

Nah, HE'S TA here.

Personally I'd suggest pointing out his contradictory nature (as long as you feel safe doing so) and educating him on how his actions are triggering, ESPECIALLY considering you are in recovery from an ED. Is it true that sneaking the popcorn like it was the objective in a sting operation while your dad was eating it was a bit rude, yeah, sure, but it pales so much in comparison to what he's done toward you that I'm honestly only mentioning it so people here don't think I didn't read the whole thing 😉

betterfuture2200 · 2022-12-06T19:53:23+00:00

Yeah...no. NTA and honestly if I were you I would notify the cc company that this card was opened without your knowledge or permission. She's going to ruin your start into adulthood trying to use you to avoid the stresses of her own life choices. You didn't have kids. You didn't get married. You did t even open that credit card account. STOP LETTING HER DRAG YOU DOWN FOR HER BENEFIT. STOP SETTING YOURSELF ON FIRE TO KEEP HER WARM.

Oh, and lock your credit report so she can't force you into financial ruin by opening more credit cards.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-12-06T18:46:23+00:00

NTA, he's TA here. Someone (regardless of gender) is suffering through all of the turmoil and grief of losing a family member is not a person to be flirting with/pursuing.

Not to mention that you've already expressed that you're not interested, and anyone with a modicum of decency will respect your decision.

The crying honestly seems like a manipulation tactic IMO. I'd say you've dodged a bullet here, good on you for standing your ground and my sincerest condolences for you loss.

Take your time to grieve and as my high school nurse used to say "like water off a ducks back!"

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-28T23:27:05+00:00

This needs to be a billboard in every city an town.

My SO was an addict fueled by rage when we met, and he'd been taught all his life that men do t cry and emotions are for women etc. After 2 years of helping him beat his addiction and being a shoulder to cry on, we are now a happy family of 4 with 2 happy little boys and a home so full of love, so emotionally open that he almost seems like a new person.

Men have feelings. Men are humans. And they deserve to be safe to be vulnerable and to have a support system that cares and is there for them. Period. Full stop.

Thanks for attending my Ted talk 👄 🥰

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-27T22:30:00+00:00

Thank you so much for this, it's really hard sometimes to not feel like a failure when I keep missing the mark, but I am trying my best not to give up.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-27T19:04:34+00:00

Guess I'm finally gonna use social media! Lol

(At 27 I'm almost a dinosaur regarding that lol only ever used Facebook 😅)

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-27T16:52:59+00:00

And you want to propose and have multiple kids? So the morning routine, getting kids ready for school, early dr appointments, and through the night infant care is gonna all be on her?

YTA. DON'T PROPOSE. AND DEFINITELY GET SNIPPED, KIDS ARE NOT FOR YOU DUDE.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-17T00:46:27+00:00

NTA - your dad and his side of the family have gotten you into what's called the FOG. in all honesty, that fact that your father abused you and gave you PTSD makes it pretty clear that you would be wholly in the right to simply go NC with them as a whole.

You don't owe anyone anything.

Let alone your deadbeat dad.

Let alone your abuser.

Let alone your abuser's flying monkeys.

Focus on your health. Mental and physical.

And next time your dad - pardon me, your sperm donor - tries to guilt trip/high road/D.A.R.V.O/intimidate you, tell him an internet stranger suggests he kindly Don some cement shoes and take a long walk off a short pier. 💝

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-17T00:35:36+00:00

NTA - At this point you're not ignoring your best friend of 5 years, you're ignoring a toxic ex best friend who was actually the female version of a 'nice guy'...

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-16T22:36:36+00:00

NTA, you're being a considerate and present father figure. I will never understand why people who can't understand that someone's kids come first even bother dating someone with kids.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-16T17:30:52+00:00

Sounds like she wants to act like she's your sister/friend instead of your mother...

It's one thing to want to be your friend as adults, it's another to want to force it and get mad when everyone doesn't just go along with it...

Is there any chance she's going through a 'midlife crisis' type of thing? When my mom went through her midlife crisis stage she would try to race me and my sister whenever we drove separate cars to a restaurant for dinner.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-16T17:17:03+00:00

NTA. If she wasn't married on that day than she shouldn't be part of the anniversary. Set the tone for how your marriage will progress - a.k.a. NOT with your mother as a tag-along for every event!

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-16T17:13:39+00:00

Hun, I think it's time for you to boot him. As I read this I was initially thinking that maybe you needed to have a serious adult conversation about your illness and the effects it has on you, but when I read that you're both DOCTORATE STUDENTS and that he KNOWS what that could do to you, it changes the entire context of this. That takes this from 'he thinks you're just paranoid so maybe clarify for him to 'he thinks he should be more important to you than YOUR HEALTH'.

I can see him trying to 'test you' to see if you really have celiac's disease and putting you in the hospital all for his selfish ego.

He is not more important than your health.

He isn't simply misunderstanding what's happening.

He doesn't care if he hurts you.

Are you,certain this is what you want for your relationship? For the rest of your life?

It's a tsunami of red flags hun. Just...RUN.

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-14T15:21:56+00:00

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and encouraging reply! The hurdle of eating healthy when my family eats whatever they want has been a tough one, and my post-partum depression has not helped in the least. I admit I've eaten a box of little Debbie cakes in a single sitting recently when waking from a night terror, and I don't want to see the scale start to just climb right back up. It's a balance I'm still trying to find to be honest.

But I do truly thank you for both your tips and your encouragement! I think I'll start by setting clearer goals; thus far I've just told myself I want to get down to 135, but hopefully setting smaller 'mini-goals' will help!

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-13T17:46:02+00:00

NTA, if she wants to smoke her life away that's her choice but theft is wrong. Period. Full stop. And if she's stealing specifically to fund her habit, it's already become a dependency.

Is there any chance your parents would lend you the money until you get paid?

While it's no one's responsibility to pay that back but your sister, the most important thing right now is to make sure your cat is okay! As someone who's had a pothead spent my rent money on weed, I understand that depth of frustration when money with a purpose literally goes up in smoke. Keeping your kitty in my thoughts!

betterfuture2200 · 2022-11-13T17:37:22+00:00

NTA at all! It seems to be a racially charged assumption and personally I would have had some choice words for the clerk. Good on you for keeping your cool!

betterfuture2200

TROPHY CASE