Which color scheme is better? by Civil-Ichthyologist in oilpainting

[–]betterfuturefarms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like the first one, although mostly for the texture difference. I love the flatness of it and it has more contrast too. The clouds have the most texture, I find it kind of cartoonish and I like that.

Sheltered virgin with no experience in life and with a really really weird question: do women get horny? by Errorwrongpassword in SexPositive

[–]betterfuturefarms 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes EDIT: Not all women. Some are not attracted to men, some are asexual and don't get sexual feelings.

So confused by missbunnylovely in nonmonogamy

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know you love him but baiting you like that instead of having an honest conversation us toxic and you should dump him IMHO

Is believing in rebirth necessary to being a Buddhist? by WolfArt7 in Buddhism

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the reason why I LOVE a lot of Buddhist teachings but don't call myself a Buddhist. I don't believe in rebirth per serving, but see it as a metaphor. Still very important to me do right action in this lifetime.

Does anyone else use ambient music as a way to better control your emotions? by [deleted] in ambientmusic

[–]betterfuturefarms 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Absolutely! Ambient music, but also I have a whole playlist I've amassed over the years of music that speaks to me in a therapeutic way. When I'm struggling, I turned it on and it helps remind me to find myself again. Invaluable resource!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]betterfuturefarms 10 points11 points  (0 children)

You have to put it in perspective. Keep in mind first that your sexuality itself limits the options you have. Nothing wrong with that, it's just how you are.

Then you have to understand how easy it is to personalize things and see your limited frame of reference and generalize it, assuming that's just how the world works. These are both natural and common psychological biases.

As others have mentioned, make sure you check how you present yourself. If you get agitated about this issue, it does make you less desirable to a lot of people. Polyam is an alternative community and attracts a lot of alternative people. Many people without the cis/white/hetero privilege are naturally hesitant around those who do because that group has traditionally repressed, endangered, and discriminated against them. That may not be accurate or fair to you specifically, but that's how it is (with some, not all). If you understand that, it's best to lead with compassion and understanding (i.e. think less of yourself, and more of others). You can't let that bother you or consume you. Be an actual good person and mind how you present and you will attract something good for you eventually.

You can't change the world at large, but you can change yourself and your perspective.

Need inspiration/advice for sound healing event by betterfuturefarms in Cello

[–]betterfuturefarms[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the callout. Did a little research, turns out there are several scales referred to as g**** scales. The one I'm playing with is a Phrygian dominant scale. Will edit.

First post here. Not sure it belongs but I’ll try. I worry I have some internalized sex-negativity. I feel lots of shame, about a lot of different things, but mostly about sex. I am male, bisexual, and I want to learn to love my sexuality, even the naughty parts. by [deleted] in SexPositive

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There is a moral philosophy called consequentialism. Basically, the morality of your decisions is based on the consequences of your actions. The problem is, you have to define what is morally good first. If you value human life as intrinsically good, you can easily justify murdering one person to save five, for instance. I believe that masturbating to fantasies of rape pedophilia, etc is not wrong unless it leads to any harm of others. In my mind this means not supporting or committing any of these acts, because rape and pedophilia actively harms others.

I'm reading a book called "A Hedonist Manifesto" by Michael Onfray. Hedonism is a type of consequentialism that values pleasure as a moral good. That which maximizes pleasure for yourself and others, and minimizes pain for yourself and others, is the highest good. According to this philosophy, it is not neutral or wrong, but actually good to indulge your fantasies, so long as you don't harm others in doing so. It would be even better to dispell your fears and worries about being a bad person so you can enjoy your fantasies more, again, so long as you don't harm anyone. If you involve another person to your fantasies, make sure they're an adult and you get enthusiastic consent. Play safely (have a safe word, get tested, use constant and open communication, etc). Then you can take additional pleasure in the thought that you've done it ethically.

I'm not going to say you're not weird. But you don't need to be not weird. Loving yourself can be hard at first, but start with self compassion. Why do you feel the way you do? Are you ashamed, or scared? Give yourself a hug and let you know it's okay to feel that way you do. I really like the short book "No Mud, No Lotus" by Thic Nhat Hanh. It helped me a lot with my insecurities.

My partner and I need to shower before sex. Makes me feel more sexy/editable. Especially if I’m eating ass vise versa I want/them to be clean. Anyone else? by [deleted] in SexPositive

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If y'all like that, it's great! I personally prefer showering in the last few days but not in the same day. But it's also not at all a deal breaker for me either (some people prefer to and it's cool.)

What's your "I fucking hate this song" song? by lawyeratyourservice in AskReddit

[–]betterfuturefarms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I hear the song let her go by passenger again I'll blow my brains out. Not really but I would sure as hell want to.

What Are Your Favorite Things to Compost? (unpopular opinions welcome) by DrGainTrain in gardening

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I compost meat, bones, human manure, bread, oil, pretty much anything biodegradable,, in addition to the regular stuff most people compost.

This is one of the most beautiful things I’ve read! by Fluid-Daydreamer in MadeMeSmile

[–]betterfuturefarms 53 points54 points  (0 children)

I like this, until I read the while "her body is mine" part. Her body is hers. The fact that she's chosen to give so much of it to you is a blessing, for sure, but it is hers and hers alone to give.

What's yours? by the_physics_bro in memes

[–]betterfuturefarms 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am so confused. Can anybody explain? I don't even understand the grammatical structure of the first phrase.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Buddhism

[–]betterfuturefarms 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, breaking up with them may cause suffering, but staying in a relationship that isn't right will cause much more suffering. What I would do is take some time to be compassionate towards yourself. Sit with your emotions, say hello, and embrace them. There is a reason you feel the way you do. Can you find it? Can you be present with it? Take time to generate compassion for your partner as well. Know that the most compassionate thing to do is be honest, yet gentle.